Persona's My Beauty

New Chapter Begins...

2010-10-26T15:33:00.004+08:00

I was just looking at my blog's archive tabs and thought it's rather funny to see majority of 2008 + the whole of 2009 + majority of 2010 missing, only now to be continued. I jolly well knew why but still it's like, what was I doing then. Lol. It looked like I disappeared. Haha.

I wonder if I should delete away the old history and begin from here. Or should I just simply delete my sites, but at this moment, I thought well, it won't hurt leaving things as they are right? I'm not sure if I will continue in the long run, seeing the last attempt was back in July 2010, supposedly my "come back" entry. In any case, we shall see how it goes then. I'm not going to make promises, this way I might actually blog more as and when I feel like it.

And so it begins... Again!

Hoping a brand new start will be for the better. Well, at least my savings will appreciate for the time being after 6 mths.

So anyways, I've just finalised on a new job this morning, I know it's pretty firm when I went for the interview last Friday. Reference call(s) made yesterday early morning and I received the offer soon after. I seriously wonder if they called my previous boss (my reference 1). Reference 2 called me shortly so I knew. Headed down to the office in the noon for the contract and brought it home to think about it for a few hours.

There was nothing much to think about the offer itself actually even though I was in a dilemma. I was thinking more like, should I continue to search for more or should I take up better paid jobs or should I do something that I'm comfortable and familiar with or should I try out something entirely different and just go for it.

But this job like my sis's (she just started work last wed), actually dropped from the sky. I did not apply for it and they found me. And I am not talking about the sales jobs which I received everyday. In fact, I was so fed up with the sales jobs calls that when this company called me, I actually thought that it's some investment company and appeared disinterested. I asked her to email me the details and realised I was wrong. Haha, my bad. I should have listened to the call properly. What to do when you receive like 5-8 calls a day from bank/insurance companies. This has never happened to me and therefore made me really excited.

While this job offer isn't as attractive (albeit disappointed) as I wanted it to be and the pros and cons pretty much matched my previous job though in a different way, I do see the potential ahead. It's strange how it actually matches up in the end, or maybe it's the "formula" or how I analysed it. Lol. In the end, I will only know how far I can go once I am IN it.

Of course I do hope that it'll be a long term career, or at least longer, but certain things are not within our control. I shall see how it goes, if I don't try, I will never know. So I try already then let you know. Haha, I know, I'm lame.

I like how my manager has a very positive vibe, and she naturally makes me feel better when I'm around her. This is great, since I will have to work hand in hand with her. I am also very comfortable with her and I wish her the same. While presentations can be faked, vibes can't. You can be a brilliant speaker + liar, but vibes are something that cannot be erased. Or at least that's how I sense it. I hate to work with people with negative vibes. They kind of bring the whole office down with them.

I'll be starting on Thurs. She told me to bring an open mind as there are many things to learn. So I'll keep myself excited as much as possible to gain the experiences. I might update along the way through this new journey. Till then, new name, new house, new company, new position, new industry. I hope everything falls into places.

Some things that were left unblogged...

2010-10-26T12:09:00.014+08:00

PS: I realised I have too many things I want to say after it started. Hah. It's incoherent but I understand can already. Coz I'm lazy to edit, LOL.

I do not feel the need to justify myself even though everybody bugs me. But just to be clear, my accounts are no where near the red zone, after all I did planned for the resignation for 2 years. And to all the irritants out there, I sacrificed 2 YEARS of my life for the break. All you need to do is to actually change your lifestyle (instead of talking about it) and do proper budgeting. Everybody can do it. So STOP making excuses, STOP complaining, STOP questioning and lastly, STOP JUDGING ME!

For 2+ years, I've not bought any new shoes, clothes, bags, handphones, gadgets. If you see me with new items, those are gifts and mind you, I did not request for them. Ok lah, maybe I did have some bday + other festive wishlists, but those were made so that I receive the items that I really want or need. Haha.

Anyways, I have also stopped drinking and the frequent ktv sessions. I still do it once in awhile, well, more like once in a long while. And while it's mainly due to my budget plan, it's also because I do not enjoy it as much as I do in the past. Or rather I am now more in control of what I like and what I don't. Who I wish to meet and who I don't, rather than trying to please everybody except myself. I thought I deserve a pat on the shoulder for this. This is a crucial changing point and I no longer spend money and not feel happy about it.

Anyways, what I wanted to say is this. If you earn 2K and you spend it all every mth, don't complain that you are not earning enough. Because I guarantee the day you earn 10K, you will still spend every bit of it, unless you discipline yourself.

It's a simple primary school calculation of numbers. How difficult is it to understand? For e.g. I earn 2K and I save 1K a mth, I go for drinks + restaurant food maybe like once or twice per mth and versus another who earns 5K and spends 6K (credit) a mth and go for drinks + restaurant food every other night and yet COMPLAIN and COMPLAIN they do not earn enough and that they have no money. At the end of the day, it's all about CHOICES and how we live our lives.

Be open about it and admit that you choose to live your life this way. What I hate is people who are in denial. Hello, how old are you already? Can't you see your own actions? You know how much can be saved from that amount and the no. of things I can buy with it? And for me, if not for the housing issues and my wasted part-time degree history, I would have saved even more lor. So, quit complaining and just save la.

There is nothing wrong spending all your money if you have no other commitments. I would probably do the same if I have zero obligations and be happy about it. But such is not my lot.

And worst of all, I hate people who earn more than me, spend everything on rubbish+ego, and come BORROW money from me to pay their bills, claiming that I'm rich and that my savings are spare cash anyways. GO AND DIE la, I am not a BANK lor. I did not sacrifice myself to save so that I can lend others money. And I am certainly not obligated to do so. So what if I got spare cash in my account, that's mine what.

These kind of people are show-offs most of the time, they spend to make themselves look rich coz of their ego. If you stop showing off to your friends, you would have enough money to pay your bills. And what really pisses me off is that if you do not lend them the money (to save their car, house, bills, dogs, cats, whatever), you will be branded the ultimate evil person who refuses to save a desperate person in need. And they actually get mad at you, swear/curse you and go around telling tales of you. GO AND DIE AGAIN la.

My life is full of these losers, pity me, sobz... And henceforth, I will never ever lend anyone any more money unless dire circumstances which will be determined by me, not you. Have I even mentioned how difficult it is to get back your money? They go on and on to make it your fault (again) to push a desperate person and that stressing (again) that it's your spare cash and you do not need it now so why the rush. Why? Because it MY money la!

Why can't you be a MAN and return me MY money? You can go holidays with friends and drive them around treating them to food and drinks and prostitution and yet couldn't pay me back a few hundred dollars. I only appear rich to you because you are a loser who does not understand simple maths. I forgo all previous debts for I want nothing more with these people. So leave me alone and get out of my life.

I spoke to a "friend" recently, who again said "You are rich what, no need to work." If you meant it as a joke, not funny. If you were being sacarstic, thanks leh. -______-" Enough said.

And then, there are those who just love to criticise everybody but themselves. They are often too quick to judge, thinking that they know everything and that they are always right.

Nobody is in the position to criticise me when I resigned without a new job. If you do not understand my job and did not bother to ask, then you have no right. And when I've decided to take a long break with no firm dateline, do you think I am that stupid to slack at home with $0 in my account, especially when I have a freaking house I need to service? And yes, meanwhile I went for holidays and did some spending, so? Hello, I paid for everything myself. I saved for the break one leh, why can't I do what I want? Why must I listen to you? Did you ever help me even for the smallest thing before? NO.

Do you pay my bills? NO. Do I pay my bills on time? YES. Do you support me financially? NO. Did I ever borrow money from anyone? NO. Did I burden others my financial commitments? NO. Did I take your money and slack at home? NO! Then? What's the problem?

So you are earning alot of money now, good for you, so? Ever treated me to anything? NO. Alright, your job is so interesting, then? Ever introduced any jobs to others? NO. Ever helped those who helped you before? NO. While you constantly put others down and make yourself sound so superior, at the end of the day, nobody gives a shit for you are too self-centered. Get it? And stop hao-lianing about your friends, sorry, who again? Nobody is interested. Your business is none of mine and mine none of yours.

OMG, this is getting longer and longer and I just kept going on and on. Haha. I guess I should have just blogged more often. I'm going to give the above topic an abrupt end.

I Am Back!

2010-07-02T02:25:00.010+08:00

And yes, i'm back! It's been like what, 2 years since i last made any entries.

Lots of things happened and it's been really crazy. I'm not sure why i stopped and i just recalled I actually have another dead blog site, which i might revive later on. Can't lose the domain i guess. Lol.

I have no idea why i'm back again, but a friend, KT (i will just use initials, just in case, i dun wan history to repeats itself) asked me about it on Mon even though he hasn't read a single bit of it and i just thot, why not, just going back to the way i was, penning down my thots.

It took me quite abit to come back to this page as i have no idea which email and password i used. Blame myself for being fickle. Haha.

I'm actually really really sick (yes, i hear u, like AGAIN!) right now, though slightly better than yesterday. You have no idea what a bowl of laksa and a packet of cheap nasi lemak can do to you, though im not sure if those are the exact culprits. Right now, i'm waiting for the truckloads of med that i've down to kick in. Though i doubt they will. Maybe i should head down to parkway tmr to have my fav giu ling gao! Never fails to cheer me up!

My sis and I have bought a huge 5-RM flat for 500+K this year. Only 10K COV, it's a steal! We have shifted in around Jan 2010 i think. Rented the 3rd room to my friend, ML who has rented out his own 3-RM flat and is now staying in this huge room with walk-in wardrobe and connecting toilet. He's got a great deal, judging the location of my unit and the size and privacy. The only downside is he doesn't have a window. Lol.

My mum is staying in her own condo in JB, costs only like 80+K RINGIT!!! So cheap lor, if only our houses are so affordable. My sis is staying in the master room as usual with her own walk-in wardrobe, kudos to the previous owner who spent a bomb on the renovation.

On my hand, i'm very happy with my huge GREEN room, though it is the smallest among the 3 with no toilet but it has a very nice enclosed wardrobe that hides my tv, work station, dressing table. I adjusted the wardrobe this way thanks to my brilliant mind. Haha. I doubt i can find any such unit in the future. The furniture which everyone said were too big for our condo that we stayed last year, were actually too small for this house. I wished i had bought a king size bed then.

I have also left my job a couple of months ago and now taking my well-deserved break. I have been there for more than 3 years and it's high time that i move on.

Well, that shall be all for now. I will try and get some sleep.

Nitez. XOXO

Work Tmr! Sobz

2008-02-14T21:16:00.002+08:00

These 2 days, i've gotten so ill.

Ive never expected emotional problems to affect my own body so badly.
I know the root of my problem and i am not in denial.

Sometimes i just wish that i'll just go off while sleeping. But tts jus saying.
I am glad that ive recovered. Coz i still need to work tmr.

But im worried i wouldnt be able to sleep tonight, given tt the meds are not drowsy. With the amount of rest i had today, i doubt i can have a good sleep.

One thing for sure though, i find myself finally rested. Or at least in body terms. And i believe that should be a good consolation.

Untitled

2008-02-14T20:51:00.002+08:00

Clearing my mails and i saw this which i wrote some time back.

Thot of placing it down here, of coz, this is just an abstract of it.

--------------------------

I should be strong, or so i thot.

I have no idea where to channel all these pent up frustrations, all the injustice, all the sufferings.

I will shatter soon if i contain all these any further.

I wish i can find one opportunity and get pissed drunk. And using the alcohol in my blood, let everything out, voice out all my unhappiness to someone i can trust. I jus wan the person to listen, to watch over me, and i shall get emotional, and i'll breakdown and cry nonstop. The person to look at me releasing, look at me breaking, stay by my side, be with me, stay with me through the moment.

And then i will get too tired and drained, the person will send me home, put me to bed. Gently stroking my forehead and holding my hands, the person shall say, "Things are going to get better, as long as u carry on breathing. Better days will surely come to you. Just cry out, as loud as u can, as much as u wan, it is ok for celestine to cry. Jus cry."

Then i will start bawling, but this time i will jus plainly cry, with no words. Alas, when my body finally gives in, i shall whisper to the person who held my hands so tight, "Thank you". And i'll drift off to sleep.

Next day, i shall awake to a fresher me. Starting anew. After the previous night, i will feel like the luckiest person in the world, someone was really there for me. I shall quit heavy drinking, i will tell myself this is the last time. Let everything go, drop all the unneccessary ppl, start afresh, start from scratch. From that moment on, find a better job, build up my finances, know more new ppl, new wardrobe, new accessories, change all my stuffs to new, groom myself again, stay cheerful and happy, or at least at ease, bring back the social butterfly (which ive lost) in me, bring back my wittiness, build up my life again, focus on a career, but oso always rewarding and pampering myself and last but not least save money to buy my own house one day.

I jus wan the old emo, dramatic, miserable, promblematic Celestine to go away.

This is the only thing my heart really wans now... Jus someone there to see thru it. Jus this one night. I wan nothing more. Just this one time to drop everything and move on...

------------

I guess thats enuff said...

Indifference

2008-02-09T15:31:00.002+08:00

I don't know if i mentioned this before.

I caught this line from watching the earlier seasons of Desperate Housewives donkey yrs ago and i still remember it today. Coz it jus pricks my heart everytime.

"The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference."

Kills me every time when i recall this.

Indifference is just the most cruel thing ever. You hate because there is still concern. But when you are indifferent, you basically don't care, don't bother, no matter what others say or do. There is just no more obligation, no more feeling, no more bond towards the other party.

The tougher and heartless you are, the higher the level of your indifference will be.

HAPPY THOTS CELES!!!

2008-02-09T14:25:00.000+08:00

Well, on a lighter note before i start the entry, i now at least have enough money to eat, smoke, meet up with some frenz, celebrate gf's bday on 18th, get something for one fren and last till the end of the month. And thats great news for me.

I will ban myself from drinking (yea i knoe i always say tt, but it takes time u see. Lol), and also ban KTVs for 2.5 weeks. But seriously, i have cut down trememdously on my drinking, and thats good. Slowly but surely, i believe i will become a social drinker again.

With many things going on, i am hurt and troubled but im trying to get on and chanting to myself, "HAPPY THOTS, HAPPY THOTS!" Lol.

Im trying to arrange ppl to meet till i start work. Meeting SZ tmr, meeting Ben on mon, meeting Keith/Wendy on tues hopefully - still no confirmation from them, meeting Marvin on wed to hand him something - haven told him yet, lol. I oso wan to meet a gal whom ive not seen for some time. Maybe fri?

And thursday i guess i'll jus stay put at home. Yea. Lol.

I have another entry set up but i guess i'll save it another time. Im hungry and i think i will go and cook for now.

Happy Lunar New Year

2008-02-05T15:40:00.000+08:00

Happy new year everyone! I hope you all enjoy ur long holiday break from work.

Its the 2nd round of my rat year. Haiz, and it sucks to know you are in mid-20s now. Lol. Especially when u dun even feel that u are so old already! Yes, 24 is old!

2006 & 2007 were really bad years for me. Well, not like any other years were any better. I guess the good old days all stopped literally after 1996. 2008 started out on extremely bad notes, it was ok for the 1st week, and everything just came down after that. Everything is just not going well at all, family, work, frenz, finanically, etc. EVERYTHING! Sigh...

My office will be closed from tmr and reopens only on 15th. 4 days of leave gone, plus 1 more on 18th coz its my gf's bday celebration. I also took 1 urgent leave last week, so 6 days gone. Sigh.

I really hate CNY.

I hate family/home steamboats, patronising family reunions. I have no relatives in sg to visit, not that im keen if i do. I will be extremely bored and lonely due to the extended holiday. Everyone will either be visiting their relatives or they would have already started work after that.

And i will always be too broke around tis time of the year to get any NY clothes or watever.

I totally hate tis feeling.

And worst of all, my gf will be gone overseas during my extended break until 17th.

So that means my Valentine's Day celebration will be gone. *Big sigh*

Ive never spent any Valentine's Days alone de lor. Sigh. But this year will be an exception. I am quite anal about celebrating occassions. So i am bloody disappointed. Its not my gf fault. Its jus everything isnt going as planned. And no, i do not welcome dates on V day.

Also, was supposed to be bunking over at my frenz place during my break and same thing, a whole bloody other stuffs came up. Sigh.

Think i'll jus dig a hole and bury myself.

Meanwhile, i still got to think of how to occupy myself for the next 9 days. But i guess the worst thing is, even if i managed to find company, i have no money to head out.

But i shall not be poor forever. I shall recover all that i've lost... Soon...

Untitled

2008-02-01T17:54:00.001+08:00

It hurts so much when you have given so much for others to make them live better, that your own living gets heavily affected but only to realise that in return, when you see the ones closest to you get what they want, you are the one who's left behind.

Something is wrong...

2008-01-18T14:36:00.000+08:00

It's weird to start off my 2008 entries with this title. Should have said something like Happy New Year, my resolutions or something nice.

But i jus cant do that.

Anyways, i hope 2008's been great so far for the rest of you. And yes, even though its already 18 Jan, but still, Happy New Year.

I duno wats wrong with me. I feel my life energy being drained.

Granted i was very sick for about a mth and i still went Batam last week end. I was overwhelmed with tiredness. And somehow i never seemed to recover.

I totally did not enjoy my batam retreat a single bit. It was supposed to be fun, relaxing, enjoyable. While the other 2 had a fantastic time. I for one reason or another, felt very sick, pressurized and tired. It was as though nothing went my way then. I was frowning all the way, in a fucked up mood. Sigh...

And it followed me all the way.

Im not sure if its psychological. But it felt as though im under a curse or voodoo trick or i brought "something" back.

I've rested, i slept but I could not sleep properly at all. I feel tired all the time. I cannot focus, concentrate or speak properly I have no energy at all. When i try to work or watch tv or eat (putting in more energy than usual in other words), i get this enormous sharp pain across my head. If u look at my face now, i cant even open my eyes fully.

Ive got to exert alot of mental strength and energy jus to prop my eyes open when its only natural during normal days. You have no idea how much energy ive got to exert jus to type these. Sigh.

And its not abt lack of sleep, Celestine always function without sleep. But tis time it jus feels so different. My neck and shoulders are aching badly (i jus had a massage last week for goodness sake), my muscles are all collapsing. I feel like tearing my body apart.

I duno if its the added work responsiblities or the financial pressure, or wat.

I think im jus going mad. And i jus have to tok to people to keep my sanity in check.

Untitled

2007-11-18T08:01:00.001+08:00

(This entry is not gonna make any sense. I am jus voicing out my thots.

Things arent gonna be resolved or explained thru mere words, so dun ask...)

How long do you intend to keep this going on?

How long do you expect me to guess your thots?

How many times do you want hear ,"im ok"?

And how many times do i have to hear you say the same thing?

When we know its fucking not.

Sometimes i do wonder, y do ppl change along the way. Y does the past equals to dust when you reach saturation.

Lost my hp~ So sms me with ur name if u have my no.

2007-10-19T00:36:00.000+08:00

I kept wanting to post this but never did. Wanted to blog on actual day but never did, waited and wanted to blog, and nv did again. It was saved as draft with only a few lines on 19 Oct i think, and now its 1st of Nov already.

I really hate to come in every other 3 mths or so, jus to post a damn long crazy entry. But then, wat to do, no time sia. I am busy, no time or no mood. And then when i finally sit down and type. I lose the feeling already. -_-" No feeling = No Power

These are the lines...

-----------------------------
Sometimes i truly wonder if heaven/god or whoever up there overseeing us is testing me or simply, playing a joke on me.

Maybe its jus fate/destiny that's playing me out.

More often than not,
-----------------------------

More often than not wat? Wat sia? Lol.

I lost my hp weeks back.

Aiya, im so distracted now. I'll continue another time. 30 mins left only.

HAPPY BDAY!

2007-10-10T12:14:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YATI!!!!!!!!!

---------------

I had wanted to blog, but just after i managed to type that line, i was caught up heavily with work... Lol. And now i have no time. Haha.

So yea Yati, ur bday deserves a whole entry itself!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!!!!

Fallen

2007-10-07T03:39:00.000+08:00

I had fallen. Into my never ending pit, or so it seems.
I tried to pick myself up, but ive never managed to climb out of the hole.

I did try, many a times when i was at rock bottom, i pushed myself. Like wat ppl say, when u are at the bottom, theres no where to go but upwards.

However, just when i saw that ray of light, i had to take the wrong step and fall deeper but fortunately i still managed to get a grip. And the cycle just repeats over n over again.

But I am so tired climbin.

There were times when i lost my grip, or when my energy was totally drained, i simply gave up and climbed back down to the bottom. I stayed quiet and took a long break to recharge myself. Some times i just live there coz i cant even be bothered trying the never ending climb.

Often, there were people who passed by. I was out of reach and they couldnt help me. Other times, it was too risky for them to endanger their lives, trying to help.

These ppl asked me, "Its been so many years, you might not even make it, y dun u just give up? Let yourself go."

Seriously, the thot crossed my mind too many times. I wanted to just simply let everything go and fall to my death. End this struggle once and for all.

But i didnt. Perhaps i did try once. But it was just a trial, so the fall didnt kill me.

I bled, cut and bruised myself countlessly. But it cannot be compared to the wounds that were inflicted on my heart. The chasing of hope, and losing it each time.

Some times i feed myself with goals and dreams just to carry on trying.

I tell the passerbys myself, "U dun need a reason to carry on trying. U jus need to ensure u carry on breathing.".

But for myself, I need the moltivation.

I am strong enuff to carry on, but i am not strong enuff to face the next fall.
The traces of each fall were bone deep. And each wound never recovered.

Even so, however long it takes, u cant stay in darkness forever, especially when seemingly, u do see a speckle ray of light from the top. However, i do wonder if thats my own imagination. Your mind plays tricks on u when u r down. It could just be a fragment of ur wishes, and it was never there to begin with.

The goals and dreams never last. The armours tt i wore werent strong enuff to shield the rain, which constantly, makes me fall back.

I build one dream after another, but they were all broken. I am not strong enuff to build a good protection and thus i had to endure the crap humans throw at me, and start over.

Maybe I shd jus stop trying n spend the rest of my days at the bottom. Wat if i never make it, even if i continue trying. So wat if i made it to the top? Wat is the world out there for me?

I had never belong, wat makes me so sure i will be happier out there? Will i be pushed back in jus after i spent all my life climbing?

There was no hope to begin with, only a fool's hope.

I wished there is someone out there who will help me, who is there for me, encouraging me, lending me a hand, giving me strength. The person never ask me for anything in return, but jus stayed with the dream of seeing me out of it.

I waited n waited.

Often, i come across treasures along my climb. Ive never been rich, i only carry wats enuff to keep me ahead, otherwise, they will be too heavy a burden to carry.

To some people along the way, i pitched to them wat i can offer, jus so people will stop.

Some told me, "Dun worry, i will definately save you. And i dun need ur treasures.".

Lies, they are all lies.

It all started well, but as times go by. People gets weaker, not bearing them to go thru the pain i did, i offered them my treasure. So that they can heal and continue.

Some nv came back, some came back but asked for more and some came back and told me, "I am rich now, i dun need u anymore."

Many times i gave out more than i should as some ppl were strong. I needed more treasures n time to seek their help. However at times, my treasures ran out. And u noe that these ppl werent there to begin with.

They simply moved on to seek their next treasures holder.

Ive only asked for help and strength, was it too much?

At the end of the day, we are both of different worlds. I grew up in the hole, whereas u grew up from the outside world. Perhaps it was a mistake that we met.

It was never there to begin with.

I was just dreaming. You were never there.

And i ended with nothing once again.

Make Do

2007-10-06T21:41:00.000+08:00

No idea wat happened to the skin.

Guess i'll make do with the minimal ugly default ones 1st...

Wait till i find better templates.

Blood Donated 8 Sep 07, FTT 20 Nov 07 8PM

2007-09-11T11:15:00.000+08:00

Need to document the date for my own reference, i always haf prob remembering when i donated. Especially when they rarely update my online blood donation database... Especially when they take ages to send me back my donation card, which is jus a lousy piece of crappy paper.

Next donation will be 1 Dec onwards, this is easy to remember. Anyways, i can search my blog now.

I literally fainted when i went on sat. Coz i did not had any food or more water and i was also having menses. So i basically fainted at home, after making a trip to Raffles City for some shopping, and after making a trip to Cineleisure for a smoke with Marvin.

My sis said after waking me n asking me wats wrong, "u wan to faint go faint on ur own bed, i wan to watch shows". -____-"

Anyways, this time was fast n quiet too, i now know wat time to donate liao. Lol. It was interesting as well. One cute guy was 2 beds away from me, and then came in a hoard of students from NTU, led by a oso quite cute guy wearing suit from HSA explaining to them all abt blood donation, the procedure etc.

And then they used the cute guy to show them the whole process. It was quite fun listening to the other cute guy. I certainly learnt more, though i still wanted to ask tis qns, "Y do they take 4 tubes of samples from each donor, whereas they need to take 6 for me?"

The other cutie said, they take 4 samples, 1 to test HIV AIDS, 1 to test SYPHILLIS, 1 to test MALARIA, and other one i cant remember. Then my other 2 leh? For wat one?

There were a few male students who were quite irritating though. They kept scaring the female beside me, lol. But i dun like her either.

Due to lack of water, and the overloaded red wine the previous night, my blood was super thick. And strangely, it was smoother this time... My blood flowed for the fastest ever, the nurse was so shock. Lol. She kept sayin, "So fast!".

I mus be broken a record. I was pretty amazed too at how fast it ended. Lol. It was like, eh, over liao?

Usually it will take abt 3-7 mins, often from wat i saw its like 5-10 mins.

U do see those poor fellas whose blood couldnt flow, having a hard time.

Mine came under 3 mins tis time. Lol.

Did the cuties gave me the adrenaline rush, and made my heart pump faster?

Lol. K la, enuff abt blood.

Having alittle stroke of luck, i managed to book my final theory test date online a moment ago. Lol, i tried once yest, no slots, today i went in to see see look look but not hoping much and i saw tt bloody 8pm slot... Muahaha...

No need to head down liao... Though its jus 20mins from my place. And i paid 80cents more to do it online. Lol.

This is so boring.

Be back later or something.

Driving

2007-09-10T15:58:00.000+08:00

My private driving course expired in oct. Just extended for 6 mths but i couldnt book a date for the final theory. Got to head down to SSDC for more nite slots.

I didnt go to the test on last fri. Kinda forgotten abt it and went for the movie with SZ. I didnt study again so no loss, however wasted 12 bucks obviously.

Next slot is Nov. Think i die die got to force myself to study bah. And go for it oso. Sian.

My course will expire 10 Apr... Hopefully done by then. But i doubt so obviously...

...

Too long, CUT!!!!

2007-08-23T11:39:00.000+08:00

You know your nails are waaayyy too long when...

u no longer type on ur keyboard with ur fingers, u r typing with ur nails, except the space bar
when u try to use ur finger tip to type one key, ur nail types the letter above it together
u feel slight tingly discomfort typin with ur nails
u have zero finger tip contact when pressing the lift storey buttons, u bend ur finger and use ur finger joint
ur finger tips no longer touch any flat surface areas
u try to turn the knob of your office cabinets, only ur nails got in
u press the top nozzle of ur air fresherner, u spray into ur own nail

I need to cut them... But im lazy coz it takes a long time to cut, trim, file, or even buff...

Sucks to be female...

Your Score: 6 - the Questioner

2007-08-23T11:06:00.000+08:00

Edit: I jus went to see the other 4 options they gave... I am pretty much everything combined... Lol. So im posting everything but i'll highlight those points tt describe me.

I didnt copy the pics coz i duno how to... Lol...

Anyways, the pics will dictate im not a six... But the results are true though.

you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX (aka "The Loyalist").

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

Be direct and clear.
Listen to me carefully.
Don't judge me for my anxiety.
Work things through with me.
Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
Laugh and make jokes with me.
Gently push me toward new experiences.
Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a SIX - I dun like all these... They are weaknesses of which affects my living... Lol

being committed and faithful to family and friends
being responsible and hardworking
being compassionate toward others
having intellect and wit
being a nonconformist
confronting danger bravely
being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a SIX

the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

SIXes as Children Often

are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

SIXes as Parents

are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
worry more than most that their children will get hurt
sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka "The Challenger").

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

Stand up for yourself... and me.
Be confident, strong, and direct.
Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
Give me space to be alone.
Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT

being independent and self-reliant
being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
being courageous, straightforward, and honest
getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT

overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
never forgetting injuries or injustices
putting too much pressure on myself
getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

EIGHTs as Children Often

are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
are sometimes loners
seize control so they won't be controlled
fugure out others' weaknesses
attack verbally or physically when provoked
take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

EIGHTs as Parents

are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
are sometimes overprotective
can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").

"I must help others"

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
Share fun times with me.
Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
Let me know that I am important and special to you.
Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
Reassure me often that you love me.
Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a TWO

being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
being generous, caring, and warm
being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a TWO

not being able to say no
having low self-esteem
feeling drained from overdoing for others
not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

TWOs as Children Often

are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
are outwardly compliant
are popular or try to be popular with other children
act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

TWOs as Parents

are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
are often playful with their children
wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
can become fiercely protective

you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE (aka "The Reformer").

"I do everything the right way"

Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.

How to Get Along with Me

Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.
Acknowledge my achievements.
I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.
Tell me that you value my advice.
Be fair and considerate, as I am.
Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.
Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a ONE

being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal
working hard to make the world a better place
having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself
being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do
being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions
being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people

What's Hard About Being a ONE

being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met
feeling burdened by too much responsibility
thinking that what I do is never good enough
not being appreciated for what I do for people
being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am
obsessing about what I did or what I should do
being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

ONEs as Children Often

criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others
refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect
focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers
are very responsible; may assume the role of parent
hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry")

ONEs as Parents

teach their children responsibility and strong moral values
are consistent and fair
discipline firmly

Frustration

2007-08-16T17:02:00.000+08:00

Although i did not go cut and rebond my hair. I still chalked up my aug credit bill...
KNS, coz tt bloody ktv rejected my debit card... Duno y oso, i always use de lor... I had no cash so i LL got to sign my credit... Coz my other debit card no money... KNN...

And then leh, i see my hair more n more like crap... Dun even bother abt my mum who always say i look like shit... Even my buddy oso said the same thing... He initially said its fine, then later its been an eye sore... He asked me to dye black, DIY, he help me... Sigh, duno leh... Also duno DIY can cover all or not.

I still feel like rebonding it lor.... But i dun wan to cut short le... Just rebond n trim... Sigh... Maybe next mth bah.... And then wait another mth go dye dark brown...

Anyways, to prevent further misunderstandings... The "he", "buddy" tt i always talked abt is Marvin... I mean like crap lor, those who knoes me sure noe who im toking abt one wat... For those pathetic female losers who are double guessing, screw u la...

Tis is my blog ok... U saw my name, go google search or watever (damn KPO u, so free nothing better to do isit?), chance upon my blog, tts ur own prob.... I do not need to answer to anyone here lo....

Marvin's not even complaining abt wat i wrote, y shd the rest be....

Names names... So impt meh...

U all oso duno who wat, even if i write out their names... Those who r close noe already mah... KNS leh u all... I mean all the strangers....

Then mus i repeat their names all over? Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin Marvin.... Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen Shu zhen...

U got anything to say, say to me directly lah... Dun go one big round or tell 3rd party can or not? If u wan to play games, dun let me knoe... Fucking angry can! Piss me off lor... Speaking of which jus reminded me of someone else... Sigh, but i guess i shall not go into details...

I have not been updating coz i am so sick of my life, i am so down, i am so depressed, frustrated with everyone, and everthing else...

Alot had happened, lots to tok abt, but i jus aint got the mood to blog abt them...

And now im sick again, which jus pulled everything into rock bottom... I DO NOT LIKE TO BE SICK, coz when im sick, ppl ard me gets more selfish (dun allow me to rest, tok loud loud, disturb me wif nonsense), and then i will feel lonely... KNS...

LONELINESS is a taboo in my dictionary ok?

I am lonely-tolerant coz i am alone! I am not supposed to feel otherwise, if not tts slapping myself for having walked tis far...

If only im not female... If only im not emotional...

I will jus let everyone go, give everything up, without any burden, and leave this place forever...

Sigh... KNN!!!

I feel like cursing n swearing to all the bitches and fuckers....

Except tt i am now so miserable, i cant tok, i cant pronounce properly and i cant breath properly too... Plus im hungry!

Lol.

Sian sian sian...

Seriously i duno wat ive becum lately...

Either i step out of it or i continue but make it work better for me, as in towards my own advantage not to others... Otherwise im nv crawling back out again until someone threw the fully injured, useless me off the hole....

U mus be thinking wat e hell im toking abt... Well, tts for me to noe... It doesnt matter u get it or not, coz tis is MY blog , geddit?

If i wan U to understand, i will... If i dun i will jus speak in riddles...

My brain's not working properly again...

TBC tmr...

Dun Cut Le

2007-08-03T17:13:00.000+08:00

After much consideration and hesitation, ive decided not to cut my hair or go to the salon on 10 Aug. Sigh... On one hand, i am kinda enjoying my hair length when its not giving me probs and i kinda do feel its not really tt neccessary to chop it off, on the other, i guess its more practical to save that money for other uses at the moment.

Alright. So i guess that would tentatively mean my credit bill for sep will be lesser.

Then again, who noes. Lol.

Then lidat 10 Aug i will be so sabishii... Everyone working/schling... Sobz... And then my house upgrading haven finish somemore... Cant even slp in lor... Sianz...

Shall see how bah...

Good Company

2007-08-02T10:56:00.000+08:00

Yest US stock market crashed... Sigh.
Fortunately, i cashed out before that. But some ppl ard me were badly burnt.

I hope it doesnt affect the rest of you.

Its a risky game, i guess we have to accept the wins and losses. Not trying to sound preachy or anything, but its jus tt no matter wat the experts say abt trading being investments, sure wins n sorts, to me, its still gambling lor.

Stocks and shares, no matter how experienced n gd u r, sometimes, things are jus unpredictable.
So when you gamble, you have to accept you might lose oso.

You are happy when you earn big time, then when you lose, u blame the whole world and throw your temper ard ur loved ones.

We must be ready on both ends lo. I am not prepared to lose, thus i won't be doing it for a long time. No money mah.

Traders hate it when we say sometimes its luck as well, coz to them, everything is analytical, and you will definately make it big if you have a good mind. But like i said, nothing is forever, nothing is predictable forever. Things jus happen at times u noe.

Otherwise, there wun be so many tragedies ard le.

Ppl say those who burnt themselves are simply stupid and they haf poor judgement. Then again, you will nv be 100% right forever eh?

Thats my belief la... (Can already feel them shooting me looks, luffing at my ignorance -___-" Watever!)

Anyways, i went out yest. Sigh... Haha, it meant i spent money lah... Sobz, now left $650 only nia. Lol. & $40 cash.

Sushi Tei for dinner - $50
Cigs - $30
Acid Bar - $70
Bought Hoegarden at Cheers - $30

Damage: $180
Good Company: Priceless

Actually quite fun to list out... Lol, i can refer to these for expenses. Had been refering to my acc post alot... Haha.

It was good company yest though. I thot the vibe was good. Shared some more stuffs and thots and conversation was pretty good. Though tt jerk freaked me out abit yest on the bed, and i kept imagining a woman hanging on his ceiling fan, coz of tt stupid horror movie 4 of us watched prev sat, ALONE. Lol. And i couldnt sleep for the rest of the night, not becoz of the ghost but more like i couldnt get to sleep, like always.

I guess when you are very close to your fren, its inevitable to have conflicts at times. Jus hope it doesnt happen too often. Like he said, impt thing is jus dun keep going back to it.

Theres no perfection in all relationships. So part n parcel. It happened, u cant turn back time, so get over it and move on ahead.

Oh ya.

Watch this speech for Steve Jobs, very moltivating.

Lunching le... Later

Some Goals

2007-07-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

Update more since i got the mood. More like reminders for myself bah...
Will tok abt the sat gathering after i get my pc reformatted and upload the photos.

This week's tasks after work:

Mon - Pack Wardrobe, Iron/Sew Shirts, Finish my drama series, Catch more sleep
Tues - Plan Pot Luck Gathering, Reformat PC, Re-install everything
-______-"
Wed - Go buy the toiletries at central, Transfer Files from Lap Top to PC
Thurs - Slack & Rest
Fri - Stay at home
Sat - Meet SZ, Buy eldest sis bday gift, Maybe head to tamp drop toiletries/installers at Marv's place and visit him n Elfie
Sun - Free & Easy, maybe cook

August:

Donate Blood
Study Hard for Driving Final Theory Test

September:

Pass my Final Theory
Start my practical driving lessons

October:

New Working Wardrobe - Heels, Bottoms, Shirts, etc
Dye Hair

November - December:

New Wardrobe - Total Revamp - Work/Non Work

2008

Stick to my job
Buy a Mac Book
Buy a Video Cam
Buy a Gucci Wallet
Get my driving liscense
Pack all things, throw all unneccessary, be prepared for moving out plans
Holiday Trip - TAIWAN
Plan to get car (Most prob 2009)
Do not get into any relationships

Think thats abt it for now...

August Account

2007-07-30T15:03:00.000+08:00

Breakdown of my own August Accounts for my own reference:

After paying all the bills and transfering money here and there.
Plus the money others returned me, I'm left with $800 in my bank, and $80 bucks cash, lol...
You think alot arh? U see my list of fixed expenses for this mth!

- $80 for this week and next week working expenses (cigs & lunch $)
- $100 for M1 HP bill on 27 Aug + Internet Bill
- $90 for last 2 weeks of working expenses (till i get next pay)
- $50 for toileties (Shampoo, Conditioner, Hair Serum, Moisturizer)
- $100 expenses for the my bday Sentosa Stay (meals and others, excluding hotel)
- $50 for my bday gathering (pot luck - still planning though)
- $50 for my eldest sis bday gift (8th Aug, got chalet)
- $200 Emergency Money (I haf to do tis, if not sure die one! If nothing crops up then it will becum my savings lor!)

And so i am left with $160. Haven deduct for transportation somemore. Lol. But nvm can leave tis part out.

Ok, i've decided to be thick skin n stay at home to eat dinner for weekdays for the whole month. If not i'll jus eat bread or instant noodles.

So i have $160 to cover my whole aug weekend spending! Which will be 3 weekends, since my bday weekend i think more or less will be covered in the above listing. So i ended up having like $50 for fri-sun each weekend. Sigh.

So it means no more cab rides! Ok, shall die die stick to bus. But u noe travel from amk to tamp is soooooooooooo far n journey is sooooooo long by bus or train lo... Sigh, nvm, i'll ENDURE!!!

I shall not drink for this mth... Hmm, try lor... No ktvs this mth... Try oso lah... I shall not watch any movies... Sigh... Ke sian leh, then whole mth i nothing to do... Lol. Nvm, i'll jus watch online anime, my vcds and go visit Elfie can liao...

But then i got something i wan to do on the day i took leave when everyone is working so nobody can accompany me thus i might as well go do it and take up my whole day... Lol. Uber long sentence said in one breath.

I wan to go do my hair during my bday week, with the 50% discount it shd be like around $250. Thinking of rebonding my hair and snipping my hair off... Then 1.5 mths - 2 mths later go change my hair color. No more ulti bleaching this time. Normal 2-color dye, or i might even go single color.

So ironic i tell u... It took me so many yrs (hmm, like 8 yrs? Meanwhile on off on off trim n grow trim n grow)to finally grow so long, and almost to the length that i wan and now i feel like snipping it off. I think its the bday mood, new hair, new change. And im oso sick of maintaining my hair... My hair was bleached 3 times n rebonded 2 times across 2.5 yrs, i think.

And so am thinking of jus snipping most parts off and start anew. Grow again. Sick of taking care of the lower ends to prevent disasters.

But as much as i wan to cut short my hair, i cannot bear to cut away my long hair too. Sobz, dun laugh, this is woman for u lor... Lol

Something tells me i definately must do it for myself though. Hmmmm....

But use my credit card mah?

I just cleared my aug credit bill, but scary thing will be my credit bill for Sep. Lol. Even if i dun sign anything now till 20 Aug, this is the amount already. Lol.

$215 - KTV (I think, forgot how much le oso)
$504 - Sentosa Bday Overnight Stay (But of coz SZ will pay me back $250)
$250 - Hairdo

Siao liao lah, Lol. $700+ liao lor... Hahahah. Lets take it as $750. Minus $750 and family allowance, $200 working expenses for sep, $100 for HP + Internet bills, $100 for other toiletries plus cosmetics (predict some items will run out during early sep), $200 emergency $. Left only $250 nia.

Luckily sep nobody close to me bday... Or so i remembered. Dun tell me u sep bday! Lol.

Then same thing liao, cannot ktv, drink, etc... Hahahah.

But as long as i tahan aug n sep. Oct i will not be so tight already. Lol. I wanted a bday spa trip, so ok lah... I need the break and celebration. Sacrifice abit lor... Once a year only nia. Not in the condition to go overseas oso. So jus make do lor.

Can go shopping le... Lol.

Stress sia... Kekekek... Scared i bored to death... Haha.

Too much HP

2007-07-30T11:34:00.000+08:00

Heyo...

Ive got so many things to say.... Wanted to blog so many times last week, but jus cant find the suitable time.

I die die have to format my home pc, yes it died... But then, its jus so sian to re-install everything. BUT I HAVE TO DO IT! Sigh... Been dragging it on for like wat, weeks?

My sis asked me to share a new cpu, but no money leh.

I need to pack my wardrobe oso, dun wanna go thru the mountain packing like the previous packing time. I oso need to iron my shirts, haf been wearing LC clothes to work lately. I oso need to sew additional metals butts to my shirts... Sigh...

I shd do this, tonight after work: Pack Wardrobe, sew buttons, watch campus superstar, and concuss. Tues night: Re-format PC. Sat go buy bday gift for my big sis and some toiletries to put at Marv's place. I need to get some cosmetics oso... Sian...

Its monday again. It was so hard to wake up tis morning... I couldnt sleep last nite, it was so uncomfortable. The temperature isnt right though ive adjusted it, i jus couldnt find any suitable position to fall asleep in. And the shoulder/neck aches arent helping.

Worst, when i finally fall asleep. I had a disturbing dream. Too much Harry Potter talk over the weekend. I dreamt that Lord Voldemort was after my life on my bday -_-" Too much bday tok as well. My acquaintances from different world dimensions i made (perhaps from previous adventures) all came over trying to so called wish me happy bday -_-". But they were trying to protect me as well.

I cant tell u the exact story. Its jus u noe, getting keys and answers that link to some dimension portals to find some ppl, etc. Some ppl close to me betrayed me as usual. And of coz having the demon trying to kill me meanwhile.

Apparently, he need to cast a magic spell on me in order to kill me. And it had to be a ritual or something. He cant kill me like with a dagger or something,. God knows y. So as long as i keep escaping with my magic, i am safe. U have no idea how many spells ive casted in the process.

Short sleep, long dream. As usual, hate tt. It jus seem like eternity, i dun like tt, coz i will feel super tired the next morning.

I go eat 1st, later then continue.

HAPPIFYING 2

2007-07-23T15:41:00.000+08:00

This sat ive arranged a gathering with SZ, Marvin and Wendy...

Wah, 1st time SZ and Marvin meet, duno how its gonna turn out... Lol... But high time to meet le lor, kns... My 2 close frenz, die die oso mus pair them up see how isit...

Will be watching movie, Alone, in the noon, then early dinner at newton, i wanna eat STINGRAY, SAMBAL KANG KONG, (damn long no eat, e last time at tamp 85 coffeeshop not counted, sucks lor) then duno wat liao... I sick of eating Lala, Cockles, Squid, dun feel like eating Tsuk Tsuk, Gong Gong... Then like nothing liao lor... Oh ya, think i will order satay (oso very long no eat), then the oyster omelette, i dun fancy chicken wings... Hmm, then like nothing liao. Lol.

Then KTV. Gonna drink alot alot... I will prepare more $$$. I hope the 2 girls are prepared though, one thing is i want them to get drunk, then again im afraid of the aftermath of drunk ppl oso... Lol.

Then after that go Boon Tong Kee eat supper...

But like so dumb travel back n forth back n forth lidat... Lol, but nvm lah, 4 person cab not so ex.

Pls dun stalk me arh! U roughly can guess all my locations. Lol...

I am so excited lor, duno wat im excited for... But sian leh, 5 more days!!!

If all these dun work out, i duno wat to say man... But then got ME wat, sure work de lah...

I wan to see Marvin, SZ, 5-10... It will be so interesting...

I am so amazed at myself this mth...

I managed to survive under such limited moolah.
I did not borrow any moolah. Wanted to lor, but i am a stubborn bitch!
I still managed to eat my usual (sort of) and bought so many things for others
But coz of the above points, now i have a credit of 500 moolah to clear next mth. Lol. But still within my budget lah, didnt i already mentioned I have high expenses!

But last mth credit bill of 3K (consists of the 2.4k Puppy) was really really crazy. 600 moolah was my shopping which i by right expected it to roll over this mth, coz of the cut off date but i FORGOT i CHANGED credit card, so the cut off date was changed too.

Although i encountered tt big floop, all these still under my control lor...

It feels so gd to be in control again.

But i did suffer one setback which was tt my drinking was cut down tremendously. This is partly due to the fact that my drinking khaki oso broke, lol. So we die die oso cannot drink, for now... But not anymore, i will be back next mth. Lol.

Then again, u will say dun drink so much la, not gd to health tis n tt... U think i duno meh... U think ppl who smoke who drink duno meh.... I am alcholic, i enjoy drinking. So?

I am now super super gien so sat i will drink alot alot... I dun care wat u think of drinkers... I love to drink, much more than smoke.

But having said all tt, i still drank... It wasnt like a whole mth of no alcohol. So its still cool.

I was just about to snap coz of another mistake yest. They dun accept my type of credit card - smart chip kind, and i was forced to use up all my spare cash, lol. But all i had to sacrifice was a pack of cig, some food, and enduring a long long long bus journey of rowdy ppl and motion sickness.

But all things jus fell into place again.

If i get my petty cash (23 moolah) from Boss - he retn to office this week, i will have enuff moolah to eat lunch for the rest of the week.

My sis cashed out my shares, so i have abit of money for saturday!

Just when i was counting down to dreadful pay check clear day, everything fastwarded and i jus need to sit and wait till mid of this week...

But i do feel abit guilty though... Had not been saving for some time, coz of all the gifts and all... The shares were my pathetic saving and im touching that money for sat. But then I do not mind paying lor. This kind of thing is the companionship de mah. Money can still be earned de.

As long as enjoyable i dun mind paying de la... But if not enjoyable of coz i will grumble. Lol... Tts y i say die die ok de lah... Got me mah!

Although i dun earn alot of money, but at least still self sufficient.
I still pay for bills, i still give my family money. Isnt it all that matters? I no money or wat is my own prob wat... I buy gifts, i drink, i give treats, i happy, others oso happy mah...

I dun affect others nor owe ppl money... Isnt tt gd enuff?

I am not going for degree anymore, so i need not save up big time for it...

Aiyah, in the end...

I jus wan to say... I jus wan to give as much as i can do, while i still can.

Happifying

2007-07-23T14:38:00.000+08:00

I donated blood just in may... Kns, their system nv update... Can only go again after 19 august.

I am happifying now... Duno y... Feel so so so happy and excited.

No monday blues (erm, coz i usually haf tuesday blues - yaya, stop laughing for those who noe).

I bought 2 movies - 300 (hope its not censored), and take the lead. Of coz i've watched them in the theatres. But i buy movies tt i like or love to keep. Coz i am the kind who can watch a movie over n over.

Wasnt expecting to buy 300, wanted to buy Dirty Dancing: Havana Night, but they dun haf.

I bought 3 pairs of shoes from Charles n Keith yest... I saw 2 pairs on the website tt i fell for, i noe i had to get them. Lol.

I am not afraid to say this but I love C&C shoes.

Coz they have great size range and they are affordable. They now have size 41, thats size 10. Now i can hear lesser females complain already. Amazing right? Most shops stop at 39 one lor... VNC goes up to size 11 though, i think C&C is trying to compete with the M'sian brand.

Who cares if they dun last, VNC shoes dun last either... In fact, my C&C shoes last longer than my VNC shoes. Actually their shoes kinda last longer already or at least those tt i've picked. And the quality has improved tremendously, at least i dun get bloody blisters now or so for those tt i've picked. And their heels are more stable now, not as wobly as compared to when they just started. Balance is good too, my feet dun ache wearing their 4 inch heels as compared to the past.

And i love some of their designs too, though not original but who cares. I am always spoilt with choices. And i had to die die restrict myself from not more than 3 pairs each time. Though i have to admit i love VNC design collection too, but then VNC limited branches, i dun wan to go city hall jus for tt.

Best of all, to me lah... Their shoes super cheap lor... I never bother to check the prices before i buy... To me lah, 30+ per pair is cheap lor... 30+ wear at least 6 mths, ok wat...

Actually, its jus kinda recent tt i realised wat type of shoes fits me so that i dun get the blisters or spoil the shoes easily... For example, i cannot buy strappy heels though its super sexy, coz sure wear few times break one. So i dun get lor... Then i cannot buy fully covered or rather back covered heels though i love them, coz the back sure blister one. Then wear one time throw aside le so i dun buy lor... Then front covered, my nails sure spoil the shoes one then the front gets dirty n smelly more easily, so i try not to get tis type oso lor... But i sometimes still get tis type though.

I bought one red heels, one beige heels and one blue wedge... I now got 3 colors to wear go out, i like! I think tts y im happy.

Next time i will get working shoes, coz i wan to change my current batch. So many yrs le, some so worn out le. I need new batch of working clothes too... Wearing the same things for ages... Lol.
I must be patient... New wardrobe in October! See i save enuff or not 1st lah... haha...

Upload tis 1st...

2007-07-09T11:34:00.000+08:00

I cant remember when was the last time i donated blood... Kns...

I checked online its says feb, so means i missed out one appointment in may already... But then e last i went with wendy was so long ago meh? Think i better check my card later when i reach home. Thats if i can still remember. Lol.

I think shd be bah, think quite some time already oso... And time flew by lately.

Will head down this sat for donation if im eligible.

Guess i will be headin down alone again this time, so sick of meeting up with ppl and arranging all the nonsense.

I am not refering to Wendy, she was the one who woke me up that time coz i was zz, and we were late for the appt. I wanted to give it a miss already, but she was my moltivation and i got my lazy arse off the bed. Lol.

Luckily late ar, coz when we reached, so few ppl there tt it took a breeze to go thru it. It was almost zero waiting time at all stations!

Aiya, cant blog le... Lunching.

Missing June~

2007-07-03T10:16:00.000+08:00

I cant believe i left out the whole of june's posting. KNN~

So much happened, yet i didnt blog. I was busy but i was more tired.

After 4 mths of preparation, finally my exhibition came and left. And i didnt even take photos and note watever down.

Not only that, the new puppy, marvin's bday, the puppy, the puppy, the puppy...
Haha.

I am now officially a mother of 1 and a half son, or is it 1 and 1/3 son? Lol.

Unfortunately but as usual, life is never a sunny side up. While some things were good, its only good while it last.

Where the hell was i man?

I felt i kinda lost myself lately. Where's my celesbaby?

No idea wat the hell im doing.

I definately was kinda escaping from certain issues. I spent lesser time at home, I hacked care some of the things i shd be doing, i threw aside my priorities, and i placed some ppl on the shelve lately.

I have my final theory test tonight! And i didnt even study at all. Took a few glances at the qns samples and i haf no idea wat they r toking abt. Much had been bothering me of late, i haf no mood at all to study for some test.

I am so screwed.

Though its only 6 bucks, but its a waiting period of 2-3 mths each test.

Anyways, its too late now, gd luck for my next trial i guess.

I took half day leave tmr for my son's vet appt.

My family had agreed to split the bill, i hope its not too high. Im on a very tight budget for the whole of July.

Gd gracious for the gst money, though little but it ensured i do not haf to eat grass for this mth. Lol.

Ok, more later.

Finally

2007-05-21T17:49:00.000+08:00

I love the lyrics~ Sobz...

明知留不住更不想结束努力记住你此刻的眉目
记住这拥抱的温度对抗快来临的孤独
为什么幸福它总是仓促

不在乎付出因为我在乎但让你哭我就无可宽恕
年轻的我们太低估世界该有的冷酷
在多的爱也没帮助

My Finally
一个也是有吻 Finally
我最终的恋人别哭泣

用力用力忘你在哪里
我的心中不曾离开你永远的
当我想起你会得到爱的离奇

我要退出也为你祝福
别为我哭我会嫁给无助
年轻的我们太低估世界该有的冷酷
在多的爱也没帮助

My Finally 一个也是有吻 Finally
我最终的恋人别哭泣用力用力忘你在哪里
我的心中不曾离开你永远的
当我想起你会得到爱的离奇

忘记一步一切就荒芜希望爱复燃吧!

But tis lyrics got alot of errors, but i cant edit. Bek cek.

Bad Person

2007-05-21T13:12:00.000+08:00

Had a very bad dream last fri night.

I was and still am quite affected by it. But i guess i managed to say to that person wat i really felt that time, even though it was only in the dream. I didnt wake up in tears, but i felt broken once more.

I knew that i will dream of it again, thanks to somebody who kept brining it up though i had already been trying to put it behind me. -_-"

For the sake of many individuals, I twist my words all the time. To make them feel better and to feed their egos. Often due to tis, I have alot of regrets.

Ppl will never know the truth. To cover up for their mistakes, i jus bit wat i suffered in silence and put them in better light.

I know wat really happened. And i cant say it out. Sigh.

Perhaps i shd jus stop being nice altogether.

It doesnt pay u noe. To take in everything urself. To suffer alone. Its plain dumb n stupid.

They will never know what you had done for them, would they? Will they get it one day when they think back?

In the end, they only remembers u as the bad person. And thats the return you get.

I remembered i wrote tis statement during one of my film n video project during poly days. It was a review for our own project, team, etc.

I wrote, "It's not easy to be a bad person, let alone all the time. But someone's got to do it. And so, who's more ideal than me? Since I've been doing it so much, that others had already embedded the bad being in myself. I can't bear to let others do it. I have to make the move, so that the rest dun haf to suffer wat i did."

I seriously wondered wat my lecturer thot when i wrote that. Then again, thats provided he got read thoroughly.

I didnt write the exact same words, but that was wat i meant though.

Perhaps i should really change... I feel torn.

2007-05-18T13:19:00.000+08:00

Last sat was Keith's bday, so me and marvin treated him dinner at Marriot Hotel on sunday (mother's day). It was crazily ex lor... The food wasnt bad though it wasnt fantastic. Service is good as well, since Marvin got the ice cream he wanted though it wasnt part of the buffet line.

Wonder were we charged for that? If so, how much?

Before that, i accompanied Marvin to Four Seasons Hotel's Club21 to shop. Nothing interesting, and the tabs are like @@. Lol. Then we walked back to Orchard and melted. So hot, can? Though no sun but it was so hot.

Theres tis nice good boy gay looking thin sweater that he love at Forum's Blackjack, but its 300+ lor, so not worth it. Discouraged him against it. I saw a jacket that i really really like, think it was 100 or 200+. And i love the top that used the same design pattern too. SO nice!!!! But no money cannot buy.

Headed to Zara and he bought 2 tops and a cute superman boxer. Haha, cant imagine him wearing it. Mus ask him to show liao. Kekekeke...

Wonder wat i did over the last weekend? Hmm...

Oh ya, had dinner at Waraku (my fav) after work on fri then headed for ktv, so it was soooo boring. Can die inside breathin the guys' sianness. Then watched drama for whole night, zz till next evening, then had dinner at Tamp's Crystal Jade. Not bad leh tt branch, surprisingly.

My impression of CJ totally changed.

Then it was back to more watching to complete the series, while Marvin, his sis Gina, husband Victor and their fren mahjonging noisily behind me.

Sun i went to my Boss's Baby Shower then met Marvin and Keith up for the shoppin n dinner.

I then caught SpiderMan 3 with Keith, while Marvin headed back home for preparation to club which didnt happen in the end, coz Kavan played him out, lol. Spiderman 3 wasnt that bad a movie as wat ppl said. Wasnt great but i wasnt expecting it to be anyways, jus a sequel in the storyline lor...

Tonight i should be catching 28 weeks later, cant wait. But then tts unless someone dun play me out.

Tues was my sis's bday, still haven got his gift, think i'll get something later. Provided i got go out lah... Tmr im going for blood donation with wendy. Evening got steamboat dinner with my family (mum's early bday celebration).

Kavan's bday next tues... Y so many ppl bday one!!!!

Haha.

Yest met Benjamin for dinner at Pasta Cafe. Been one yr plus ever since he went to Taiwan to work in tt games company. Now hes back for good, haf not seen him for so long le... Hes not changed abit. Sigh.

My exhibition is coming up one mth's time, both looking forward and dreading it. Its so far and hours are so long somemore. But then after tt, i would have time to plan many other things in my schedule.

Ive passed my basic theory test, and my final theory will be early July. I hope i can pass it one shot, then i can start my practical lessons. Then hopefully by end of the yr or latest early next yr i would be able to get my liscense.

Ive oso decided to take up jap, from basic, to intermediate to advance, which will take about 1.5yrs, tts if i dun fail la. Lol. And then depending on situation i might take up more papers on tt.

But i cannot take the most recent intake. it starts in june, clashes with my exhibition, so i will enrol during dec and start jan... So far away. Sad, but gd lah, hopefully i can settle my license 1st.

I no mood to write le. Another time bah, so sian.

Hurt So Bad

2007-04-30T16:14:00.000+08:00

I absolutely love this song now.

I just got the song today. Coz i duno the title. I dun like the original though but the version sung by one fren,Kavan. I love the way he sings it...

哭了才发现自己真的受伤了
你曾对我说你永远是我的
为了爱情我把自己的幸福都忘了
你快乐我就快乐
也许是我们彼此都太年轻了
总是特别容易沉溺在爱情里
每当我再次看到身边美丽的花火
你也离开我我还是想对你说

Baby I love You So Much…
你走了我的心在淌血
Baby You Hurt Me So Bad…
想要你回到我的世界
Baby I love You So Much…
你给我的诺言已经瓦解
Baby You Hurt Me So Bad…
只要我们都爱着无论多苦都值得
说好的你怎么忘记了

Nuff said...

Isnt it?

Back & Thank You All

2007-04-30T12:14:00.000+08:00

I am fine liao.

I guess so.

It seemed like i got over it within 18hrs. Ya, i jus looked at the clock and calculated...

At least im still alive, still able to smile & joke.

I'm alright & I got over the worst moments. And made myself go to work, though my fren insisted on calling my boss on my behalf to explain to him to allow me to take fri off.

I cannot do that one lor. And i am not the kind of person who does that.

Anyways, gonna have to thank some of u sweet little darlings.

I panicked and called the whole world around 1+am that night. Nobody picked up except Keith, although he was already asleep.

Though he wasnt able to keep up coz he was too tired. But i was really glad someone answered. He did joked and said luckily he wasnt dreamin about ghosts the next day. Coz if he did, then hearing a female crying over the phone and not saying anything at that hr is very creepy. Haha.

Also, gotta have to thank Ben, who called me back and stayed with me till 4+am.

These are the times when u will find out who really cares (though they always act tough and say they hack care abt u)even though you may not be particularly close with that person.

I am always reachable for others, ppl called me at crazy hours but never once i complained. Coz i understand how it feels when you really need someone to talk to or need someone by ur side, but you just cant get anybody, be it the hour.

I understand coz it had always been the case for me. When i say i will be there for you, anytime, i truly mean it. Unless seriously i did not managed to hear the ringing. I knoe sometimes how a phone call can change a person's fate. U never noe wat will happen to that person.

So as much as i can, i would never wan anybody i noe to go thru the same thing as i did.

Ppl always look for me when something happened, but never once have i found anyone like that until this time. This is the 1st time i actually felt i have frenz. Not those who can go out, chat, have fun with you.

But those whom stayed with you in times of need. Like me, they sacrificed their sleep, work, coz they know as a human, you are more important at that moment.

Its an irony that those who proclaimed, "I'll always be here whenever u really need me, U can always call me if u r down, i will definately get ur call or call u back asap" are never the ones who are there. Even if you happened to get them, they wouldnt really be bothered to hear you out. They will sound impatient, coz they didnt wan to get affected themselves, so they would tell u things like, "just go n slp, dun think so much, jus let it be, tok to u again".

I duno if its jus me or wat. If i noe a fren who is going thru hard times lately. I will definately and automatically, without a doubt stay closer to my phone. I will be on standby mode, just in case when things really go bad. I guess tis is only when u truly care about someone bah.

Wendy who called me in the morning. She did not ask me anything (that was bein very sensitive, thank you. Coz i did not wan to cry jus before i work for my eyes were already very swollen and its hard to put on e make up), i knew she was jus checking if im alright. I told her i will call her during lunch time. I didnt. And without even asking, she called me back again after work, she did not even ask y i didnt call her or anything lidat (u noe how some ppl will say until like ur fault again). Thank you.

Yati, who accompanied my fri morning over msn. Thank you. With you around, time passes easier during work when its all hectic and stressful. Although you are the one who is the furthest away from knowing my story, ive realised i told u more than wat most of them noe. Coz u really read n digest my words. I am really glad you chatted with me that morning. It wasnt easy.

Jensen who smsed me from morning. Who offered to treat me to something good tmr, after he heard i lost my appetite and tt im broke. Thank you.

Dave, who smsed me from noon onwards. I smsed a few but as expected not everyone replied though. Dave is very sweet, he made me feel so much better. Although sadly, he jus went through a heartache himself. He understood wat i needed. Thanks.

Keith, who called me from work. And without asking again, he offered to meet me for dinner. Even though i had no idea wat to eat or where to go. He still met me. Even though he already had plans (i only found out about tt later in the night), he cancelled it to accompany me.

Its jus so sad when it comes to situations whereby ur close fren or frenz who knew you r upset, did not bother to say anything or do anything and u even had to ask if they can accompany u. I jus find tt so sad. Coz such things shd come naturally. U shdnt expect a depressed person to ask, coz that jus make them feel worst.

And u shdnt even think along the line of, "I shd jus let him/her calm down for awhile 1st be4 contacting him/her". Screw all of us who think tis way. U wan ur frenz to die isit? U duno how to read ppl one ar, ppl who r depressed always in denial mode one. Even if you really dun haf e time to meet, at least check out ur frenz lor... So hard meh?

I never allow them to ask. I will just do it, abeit forcefully at times. Lol. I will be like, i dun care. I jus wan to meet u. Haha. No matter how cold or strong u r as a person. I noe deep down, u will still need company.

Wendy again, who oso came down to meet me and Keith later in the night. She was so tired and she still needed to work the following day. Both of them stayed with me outside till about 2+am. We jus sat there and chatted about everything, mostly about SP Services though. Lol.

And lastly, SZ, who came down to amk to meet me for dinner on sat, ktv to drink with me (she let me sing most of the time, i did realise tt), and came over to sleep with me till sun night. Thanks for the company.

I guess, without all these ppl, it would be tougher, alot tougher.

While most made me feel better, one or two or three made me feel worst. Some got me back on smiles, some provoked me and made me almost cry again. Sigh. Then again, u cant blame them. Not everyone can handle people. Some are jus not the sensitive n considerate sort.

But bottom line is, i am so glad to have the rest of u guys around. I love you all so much.

I got back up pretty quick this time. I guess it jus wasnt long enuff for me to start loving him. And i am glad i dun haf to try anymore.

Im oso not saying i am 100% ok now, lest u see me sian sian or depressed again... But manageable though. It doesnt ache anymore. But at times when i think about it, its still there, jus a alittle.

I am jus getting used to the idea of losing a person who was once there for u. Even though he doesnt accompany me and practically wasnt there at all most of the time, but its jus e feeling of noeing someone is still there. Get e idea?

But im happier now. Though i cant really go back to the state before it all started coz things have changed. Ive given up and let go some things and i noe i won't be getting them back. Such are inevitable sacrifices.

But at least im not bothered by things in tis area anymore. I am so glad i am out of it.

So its time to continue movin on. Like wat Keith said, "Just start afresh again lor, from tis moment onwards, its jus like back to the usual days".

However, a few door ways are opened coz of him (my ex). Whether i will change or not, is up to me now.

SZ asked me if i would accept another relationship again, for the 1st time, i answered her "yes". But its different now.

I am playing a different game tis time.

But no more same age liao de wor... 1st and last time, they r jus not strong enuff...

2nd to Nicholas, Keith also said, "i think you shd jus stay single.", coz i will be very tong ku when i am in a relationship.

I oso say! Say so many times le somemore. Haha...

When i was toking to keith tt day, sometimes i will say "my bf ....", then Keith will say, "who ur bf?", i will say, "him lor". Then he will like exclaim, "Wat, that jerk! wat bf! forget him liao lor!".

Haha, i find that very funny.

Tmr is holiday! Think i'll jus slack n rest at home. Very tired leh... Enjoy ur public hol hor?

Broken Up

2007-04-27T09:09:00.000+08:00

We broke up yest night.

Let's leave this blog as it is for awhile.

Wait for me to return bah...

Singing Dinosaur

2007-04-26T14:58:00.001+08:00

Im so sleepy n tired... Didnt sleep well last night at all... Slept late oso though i was so sleepy... Sigh. Tis morning rain until i cannot wake up lor... Almost MC but cannot!

I dreamt i died twice. One was at genting. The hotel collapsed and i was in the room. It collapsed down the hill and into the valley... Damn scary, confirm die de lor...

Then 2nd dream was the aftermath or something. Going to be end of the world le. So it was before that. Then got tis restaurant tt sells famous da long bao (its huge compared to xiao long bao, think i was hungry). Inside hor, they got those huge ass aquarium where they kept monsters for showcase! Well, more like ugly dinosaurs bah... But tt restaurant damn magnificent! Then got one line of beautiful china waitresses standing in front of the aquarium waiting to serve guests de...

The dinosaurs can sing somemore, or at least tt scary one in the corner who was eyeing me...

But his singing was horrible though... At 1st i thot hes growling, then it became more like trying to tell me something... Very coarse and husky, then i realised hes actually singing, mandarin somemore! Awful voice underwater... It took me so long before i realised hes singing Lee Hom's Di Yi Ge Qing Chen to me... KNS. Duno wat e hell...

Then e corner waitress who was standing in line before the glass, turned around n rolled her eye balls at the monster. And gave me a look as if to say, get used to it... lol... Damn funny.

Needless to say, later they escaped lor, they survive on land oso... The restaurant was at a building that look like suntec tower. Hmm...

But before tt, jus when i heard building collapsing and all, thinking e monsters escaped (was ready to run, coz ive dreamt of such dreams too many times i noe wat to do liao). Ended up was tt ppl were throwing down all the dao long bao from upstairs the restaurant, down for us to eat... Coz we going to end of world le mah... So we were all grabbing the famous dao long bao... Haha... I still remember the taste somemore.

SZ grabbed alot. She took pork, vege and prawns de... But she said the green one (vege) the best. As expected of her!

Then it was more food and more eating. It was so shiok coz everyone knew it was going to be end of the world... We all started eating for free... There were many places (buffets) which were left unattended, so we public just went in to eat n help ourselves...

Gosh i mus be damn hungry...

Yest kept raining wor, how to jog lidat... Marvin n Kavan jio me go gym, said cfm no rain, haha... I dun wan, i still wan go jog outdoor... Then Marvin cursed me say sure rain non stop... Lol

In the end, i went to zz, jus when i was about to doze off, Marvin called... Woke me, chat while he was waiting for Kavan to pick him up. Ask them come pick me they dun wan... So end up 8+ liao, i decided to jog coz rain stopped.

I walk to stadium, closed liao... KNN.

So i ran ard the neighbourhood and started to rain wor... THen i hack care continued to run lor. Finished liao i go buy my fav ginger warm beancurd. Sat down stairs to eat... Damn shiok ok?

Then i went back do some chores, watch tv, study abit then zz le...

Wanted to go club de, coz Marvin jio me accompany him with his coz mates... But then we couldnt find more ppl and i dun wan to be wif all the xiao di dis... Makes me feel so auntie. Ended up i asked him to cancel... Haha...

In the end all healthy living le lor... All go exercise...

But yest didnt jog enuff... Sigh...

Tonight after my thing, maybe i go again. Later see how bah. After work will be so rushed.

Sian

2007-04-26T14:58:00.000+08:00

Im so sleepy n tired... Didnt sleep well last night at all... Slept late osom though i was so sleepy... Sigh.

Yest kept raining wor, how to jog lidat... Marvin n Kavan jio me go gym, said cfm no rain, haha... I dun wan, i still wan go jog outdoor... Then Marvin cursed me say sure rain non stop... Lol

In the end, i went to zz, jus when i was about to doze off, Marvin called... Woke me, chat while he was waiting for Kavan to pick him up. Ask them come pick me they dun wan... So end up 8+ liao, i decided to jog coz rain stopped.

I walk to stadium, closed liao... KNN.

So i ran ard the neighbourhood and started to rain wor... THen i hack care continued to run lor. Finished liao i go buy my fav ginger warm beancurd. Sat down stairs to eat... Damn shiok ok?

Then i went back do some chores, watch tv, study abit then zz le...

Wanted to go club de, coz Marvin jio me accompany him with his coz mates... But then we couldnt find more ppl and i dun wan to be wif all the xiao di dis... Makes me feel so auntie. Ended up i asked him to cancel... Haha...

In the end all healthy living le lor... All go exercise...

But yest didnt jog enuff... Sigh...

Tonight after my thing, maybe i go again. Later see how bah. After work will be so rushed.

Not Lost

2007-04-25T12:36:00.000+08:00

Thanks Astra.

I have a meeting at 4pm, and i need to prepare some materials. Then again, think i need a short break now thus im here. Muahahahah...

Im not so sure about this relationship though. Its not going well at all, we didnt even have any "honeymoon" period. I wasnt ready, he was ready but not anymore (after he realised how difficult it is). And we sort of neglected one another tis few days, coz its jus not working.

Then again, i guess we have to give it some time.

I can only say time will tell. TIME WILL TELL...

Ive given up too many times in tis. The last i said was the last sunday morning at his place. When he was jus about to sleep, in his gone state.

I whispered:

"Sorry."

"For?"

"Ive given up..."

"Given up wat?"

"You..."

"Sigh... Dun think about it le."

Then he hugged the wide awake me and slept.

Im not sure if he remembers. But i think he did.

Coz we drifted already.

So now im jus getting used to all tis. I guess its jus gd training for me. Makes me a harder person. Ive always wanted to be tough, heartless and hard. So tt i would not get affected by things.

I told my fren i couldnt work now coz i am so affected. And unlike man who can easily throw their thots aside and carry on with their daily routine, women jus take it harder.

But im doing fine now i guess. My mood from rock bottom has gone up. I guess like wat ppl say, when you are at rock bottom, theres no way to go except upwards.

But i think its thanks to the jog yesterday. I totally enjoyed it. My mood immediately picked up 80%. Or isit coz of the choc i took be4 i ran? Hmm... Or isit coz of the music i was listening to when i jogged? Coz i found it easier... I still have not lost my form. And im glad. But my leg injury is still with me. Sigh.

Im doing it again tonight, hoping to make it a routine, but i cant make it tmr coz i got an appointment. Maybe later? See how bah.

I love the mental torture when u had to push urself forward when you cant. I love the beads of sweat pouring down ur body. I love the adrenaline rush in your blood.

I love it when i look in the mirror, i see myself covered in sweat and in a nearly see thru tee (coz of e sweat). And the sweat beads appearing thru my make up, and my make up doesnt smudge, keke. I find it extremely sexy. Lol. Makes me have the urge.

I couldnt sleep last night, not sure isit coz of these things happening or isit coz i slept too much on mon night. I hope its e latter. Or so i consoled myself.

Mons and Tues are always the hardest for me. Coz i will be very caught up with work and i will be damn stressed. Ive always hope there will be someone, be it a close fren to help ease me during early part of weekdays. Then again, ive been going thru these myself. Maybe it shd jus still tis way.

No matter where tis goes. I guess its not at all wasted. Ive changed meanwhile and i think ive become tougher again, not that im not tough enuff for those who knoe me. But i wan to be tougher, like steel. Like cold blooded. I wan to be cold and hard.

I guess we r still trying bah. Or at least trying to let time tell. Perhaps its true that some things arent there anymore. We dun tok about it already, in fact we dun tok already, jus short words of safety only.

Im kinda numb to tis already... Going to the immune stage. But tis is fine. If i can becum immune tts great. Coz if it happens again, at least i can still carry on.

Ironically, today is our one mth.

What a long mth it had been.

Living is already really difficult, y make relationship the same.

My 8th relationship. He took the lucky number away.

Keep smiling, Celestine. Im sure u'll be fine, jus like always~~~

Attached

2007-04-23T13:52:00.000+08:00

I was obviously back like wat, 2 weeks ago?

But having gone through alot of issues over the past 2 weeks which left me with no mood to blog at all. I am having prob working, let alone to blog.

U noe wat affects me? Humans, which is y i prefer to be alone. And u noe wat kind of humans tt affect me personally? Frenz and lovers. And u noe who affects me greatly? Enuff to make me lose my zz, mood to work, moltivation and even change me? A Lover.

YES.

I am attached. Coming a mth in a couple of days actually. In wat already seemed like ages. And thats not a positive comment.

Under normal circumstances, i would not have gone into it again. Especially since ive kept myself single for the past 2 yrs. But there was something in tis one, that was different. I had stopped knowing guys since 2 yrs back to prevent myself from gettin attached easily.

I am hard to get, but i am not without weakness.

I noe as long as i close the newer options, i would be safe. Working circle is fine, i am very firm by that. I do not entertain colleague skirt chasers. Work is work, its jus business. But not socially. Socially its hard to stay very firm. Coz ultimately, u are toking social here.

I noe my weaknesses. If the guy noes how to work me, he will get me, definately, for I do not judge looks, height and richness. He will nail it if he knoe how. Even when i do not fall for him, coz my love can be nurtured.

But tis time he came so naturally, i cant even stop it. And god damn it, hes a damn gd mind player. He read me and he got it. But duno he suay or wat lah... Guys with me all no gd ending de lor...

But thats another thing altogether. I'll tok about tis another time.

Will post the genting pics after tis week.

Away For The Long Weekend

2007-04-05T14:08:00.000+08:00

Im in the office as usual. Terribly sick, horribly weak... Sigh...

And im going Genting tonight. Good gracious me... Sigh...

Im so sick, so sleepy, think i will finally get to sleep tonight... Guess i might be able to sleep throughout the coach for the 1st time...

Gonna get more medicine to bring over after work.

Meeting Wendy n Marvin for dinner before my departure. Aint them sweet, though Wendy's going with me to Genting of coz. Lol.

I will be back sun night, late at night. Sigh. If only i can get mon leave... But tts impossible.

Tataz...

Take gd care of urself while im gone okie? Must miss me wor...

Colorgenics

2007-03-26T11:18:00.000+08:00

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

This is so creepy can... Right, SZ?

Actually i did twice, the 1st was damn accurate as well. But i forgot to save it. Knowing myself in depth, i have 2 sides to my personality. So i knew i had to do it 2 times, coz i haf 2 different flow of mindset...

1st time was damn negative and its right on for all my weaknesses, which ppl always refused to accept in themselves... While it is oso abit hard for me to swallow, i noe its true, jus still kinda hard for ppl to throw it at ur face. Lol.

Results ~

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

The way things are at this time is causing you considerable stress and anxiety. Your friends and acquaintances consider you to be - to say the least - difficult and unapproachable. Now it is because of this that you need to find some sort of solution. By doing nothing and waiting for matters to right themselves will only make things worse, but don't rush into making hasty decisions - make haste slowly.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards - and come what may - you abide by them.

Some Updates, Lol.

2007-03-19T10:12:00.000+08:00

Sigh sigh sigh... Sucks right, i always say will blog but oso nothing de...

Wat to do, i so busy one... And when i am not busy, i am so lazy lor...

Im in the office now but this morning, strangely theres nothing much... Maybe oso coz my bosses haven come in yet.

I think i slept at 5+am yest lor... So sleepy can... I one week never really slp le, every night 2-3hrs, i wan to die liao... This weekend all thks to my handsome babe, made me sleep at like wat, 10+am... -_____-" How to slp back normal lidat?

Hopefully i can concuss tonight... Hope only ar... *cross fingers* But then if so easy i last week oso wun lidat le.

My handsome ~~babe~~, buddy, he finally came back from Europe le... But then i wasnt really sure he came back, lol. Then i didnt call him... Wah, i tell u arh, he cursed me till duno like wat... He tolerated one day, and following day after my work, he called and scolded me upside down... Lol...

The moment i picked up and said "hello" only, he started tis chain of words which i cant even cut in, "U DUN MISS ME ALREADY U DUN MISS ME ALREADY, U CHANGE HEART ALREADY, U BITCH LOR, WAU LAU, I COME BACK ONE DAY ALREADY U NEVER EVEN CALL ME! TO THINK I CALLED U 1ST THING WHEN I REACHED SG, AND I EVEN HELPED U BUY ALCOHOL LOR!", etc etc.

Hahaha...

Anyways, i am glad he n his partner's back safely...

Strangely, the whole world called me on tt night as well to ask me out... I went to meet my ex colleagues for supper at 10pm (my dinner though, so hungry can!). We went to MS's Sakae Sushi supper buffet. After tt i went ktv wif my babe.

My gawd, he changed so much lor... Minusing his sudden 80s look, he suddenly becum a better drinker... Impressed man, it was e 1st time i see him drink faster, n more than me... While i suddenly resisted e idea of drinking tt night thks to the multiple nights of drinking before hand. Lol...

He exclaimed, "Wat happened to u?". "Duno leh, think ive changed while u not ard lor, suddenly like cannot take beer le..." "NVM, i MAKE SURE i bring u back!"...

Lol.

Having said tt, e person who changed my alcohol taste was saying last night, "Drink wat beer, now gd mah, drink Martell, beer like water n soda water lor." "Lidat then y u can get drunk drinking abit only leh" "Aiyah aiyah..." Haha...

Then tis person was complaining last night, "Siao liao le lah, all ur fault, now i drink half a bottle of martell oso no feel le"... "I am a gd trainer mah"...

I love this 2 bitches in my life now. Though they duno each other, and are way different from each other. But somehow, i am the middle point. Kekekek.

My voice is so bad now, coz we laughed for more than an hr yest morn... Sigh, dun even ask me y... But both of us ended up losing our voice and started coughing. Haha...

Marvin's sis getting married on 1st April, sigh, duno wat to wear leh... Time for some shopping le. SZ!!!!!!

Still so tired lor... Tonight i must make sure i go sleep after i reach home straight, if not wait n wait then at night cannot slp again...

Today is mon again... Sobz... Whole week to go...

But im going Genting again, in 3 weeks time... So excited... I noe ive said i will post my 2 last genting trip pics be4... Haha, aiyah, maybe tis time i will post lor... Tts if the pics are nice lah... But shd be nice lah, tis time round got my nice camera mah...

Im going wif Wendy n SZ. Wah lau i tell u, after i booked and bought the ticks, so many ppl scolded me say i never bring them go lah, never ask them lah, tis n tt...

When i asked them in the past, everyone is like, "dun wan lah! so sian one! go there do nothing!" tis n tt... So i go myself now, they all complained, then they said tts in the past mah... Lol...

K lah, i admit its my fault oso, coz i did considered asking another 4 ppl... But the grp will be super mixed and i haf no idea how to split for rooms... Coz its like, u noe, everyone's close to me, so how to split myself into so many pieces... Lol...

K lah, i type till so sian le oso... Till the next tym.

Some Updates

2007-03-01T15:02:00.000+08:00

Aiyo, i so no time to blog lor.

When did i last wrote my entry. Wait let me go check 1st...

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Orh, chu 3 movie i watched Ghost Rider, not nice one... Bleah... The ghosts come out i laugh le... Then abit dumb lor, took cab go down tamp, nothing to do there, coz marvin mahjonging, oliver playing game. -__-" Then i use the com lor... So bo liao, then eat liao, same thing again, continued to wait till movie start.

Then after tt think ard 12am, take cab back. So pointless right. Duno y i go down for anyways. So extra.

Then chu 4 i forgot i do wat liao. But think i forced marvin n oliver to eat dinner wif me. Then say after 7 call me. Then no news liao... Then i called them they still slping. Marvin said they fell asleep. Damn it lor. Then Marvin ask me eat myself. So angry lor... But in the end, he woke Oliver and they met me.

But i cant remember its chu 4 or 5 leh... Maybe its chu 5 so means i rot at home on chu 4.

Anyways, we went to WARAKU to eat. I love tt place though their customer service sucks. Love e jap food there. So much better than Sushi Tei. Yucks. Am not going to Sushi Tei for a long long time. Working at SP Services and coz of Marvin made me eat there till i wan to puke le...

I tell u arh, we 2 sure kena cursed de... Some ppl nv even eat lobster and uni in their whole life, but we 2 hor, eat lobster sashimi cannot finish de somemore... 1st few time we eat, after tt we always leave alot behind. *smack myself* Did i blogged abt tis already? Nvm.

Then Oliver dropped us and we went ktv. Then after tt Oliver came to join us hor... He called Marvin but he didnt pick up, so he went to the front desk and said, "Im looking for tis 2 person, e guy always come here one, e female one, although shes a chinese but she look like a malay"...

Bloody hell, and the waiter brought him into our room lor!!!

SO BEK CEK LEH!!!

How can he say tt!!!

Then he still commended he smart... *ah bish* him ar.

Fri i rotted at home i think. Oh i headed to AMK HUB, its so much bigger than i thot. THough now only 2 basement levels opened. Didnt feel like i was in AMK. Cooked dinner and bought 2 vcds to watch.

Sat n sun i headed out as usual lor.

Then mon hor... Aiyo, think liao i oso wan to faint le. So bz can!!!

SO many many things to do, i couldnt even finish... But today all the things died down liao, i got nothing to do now. Sigh.

Tmr night i going for KTV wif Ah Bee, for drinking actually. Oso, its his bday. Bought his pressie le, goin to get SZ's late pressie tis sat.

Marvin and Oliver went to Europe le. They going France, London, Germany, Paris. I asked him get LV Wallet for me, muahahaha... And oso some alcohol at DFS. DUno he will buy or not.

2 weeks later then they come back. SObz... GOnna miss them so much.

K lah, i blog till so long oso sian. Go find some things to do.

Chu 3~

2007-02-20T21:25:00.000+08:00

I didnt do any spring cleaning. Lol.

SZ didnt go to our sec frenz gathering, so had asked her to haf dinner wif me and watch movie. Since im alone at home anyways. But then ended up, i headed to Marvin's place for steamboat. Marvin is mahjonging now, and Oliver is playing game beside. Damn bored can.

Will be catching a movie soon as well.

Ok lah, i will leave all the shoppin n cleaning till tmr. Kekekekek.

Hmm.

2007-02-20T13:35:00.000+08:00

I expected myself to crash in till abt 3-4 pm...

But damn i woke up so much earlier thks to someone. -_______-"

Surfed e internet till nothing to surf oso, msn oso nobody online. Minus those i blocked lah, oops! But u all sleeping ar? Or still out bai nian? Are the shops opened already today? Shd be right?

Im in a lazing kind of mood, lol. So didnt even intend to do wat i had intended. Muahaha. Aiyah, lazy lah.

My mood is still lousy and abit ruptured. I shd let it go sooonn. Dun wanna get myself affected over matters tt aint worth it at all.

Happy Hols~

2007-02-20T02:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

Watever e occasion, i jus hope u all had a nice break from work and all others. For me, my break will be one week, so i'll be starting work on next mon.

On Fri, it was half day for me, i met a fren for lunch, then shopping (or rather he shop only), then dinner then more shopping, then movie. My sat and sun were pretty packed as well, it was sort of celebrating CNY n SZ's bday altogether.

Sat i went for movie, then shopping... Ooo, i bought a nike jacket which i love to bits. I really really like it, though its like a 100 bucks jacket. Jus wondering when the hell will i have the chance to wear it. Lol.

Its so nice though ex, but i noe i will definately regret if i dun grab it.

I tried it on a few times, not wanting to let it go. And SZ said to me, "Dun bother tryin already, its very nice. Jus a matter of whether u wan to buy or not." And then when i paid at the cashier, the guy said to me, "Tis is a very nice jacket!"... Hee.

Then we went home for reunion dinner, and then headed out again for ktv. I was drunk and i sat at my blk for awhile chatting on the phone, be4 i headed home and was knocked out.

On sun, it was another reunion dinner. SZ came to eat wif us, some ppl came to me place and the whole family of one of my fren as well. SZ and I went to visit my dad and then i bought her a swensen ice cream cake last min to cut and stayed in yishun till abt 2am.

Yest was boring though. I dun haf plans, so i stayed at home. Bought some booze in the evening, coz i wanted to slp the day away. Unfortunately, i got so drunk and puked like mad. Lol. But it did knocked me out.

I got up ard 11+pm, had my dinner (maggi), watched some tv till now. Gonna watch some epis of Naruto, i will be chasing it again, since its gonna follow the manga again from tis week onwards. Now tts such a great news.

Seriously, i wonder wat e hell am i gonna do for the next 6 days. Hmm... Think i shall do some spring cleaning again tmr. Pack and clear my wardrobe, one drawer, and the things on my table in e living room. Guess tts pretty much it, unless i wan to touch the storeroom, which i wun. lol.

Then on wed, i will head out to do some shopping, gonna buy a case for my ipod, track pants, masque. I will need to set a day to do some of my work, and another day perhaps to get some new working clothes. Ive been wearing the same things for yrs. Lol. Sat, i will meet SZ for some senseless shoppin at Vivo. I wan to eat the Korean food!

The entry is soooo meaningless. Lol. Okok, i will blog more tmr.

Celestine's Back

2007-02-12T17:23:00.000+08:00

I am back.

Or so i felt.

I felt i went on a journey. Ive changed. I did things that I usually wouldnt,
worked in a place which ive nv intended, did a job which i wouldnt, befriended
some whom i wouldnt as well.

It was quite tough for me the past 3 weeks. I had to deal with the transition,
not only in terms of jobscope. But rather, mentally, physically and
emotionally.

I did not realise what happened until the last saturday late night which i
spent with SZ. While i was sitting facing her (its been some time since i last
did tt) chatting, its like the moment just dawned on me all of a sudden.

The way i tok, the things ive said. I realised ive not done so for a long time.
Its not exactly like i was enlightened or something, but more like "U noe
something, suddenly I realised im back." And i thot it was quite a surreal
feeling then.

SOme things and ppl never change, even if time passes. One example will be her. Though i cant tell u oso whether is tis gd or bad. Lol, she'll get the drift. While i still meet her up these past 6 mths. I just felt our distance drifting apart more n more each time. I noe its not her. It is all just me.

I noe ive drifted away, jus tt ive not intended to tok to her abt it then. And back to tt night. I just realised tt, we are still the same. I came back and i am still me, back to the beginning. Though i couldnt answer her if tis is gd or bad when she asked.

She said i went "exploring" and sort of asked me "so how was it?". I jus felt that i went one big round and came back with nothing, since i am back at the beginning. I experienced and missed some moments and ppl that i noe i shdnt.

Anyways, i am in the office now and i got to go back to my work. But since i am back, i will continue to blog, and maybe even more often than usual for my own good. I miss blogging. While i was alway for the past 6 mths, i came in to blog for the sake of it, without even feeling anything.

So tis time its different.

I am back. And i will continue to blog. NOt just for the sake of it.

I just had abit of regret tt i did not jot down all the things tt had happened within the 6 mths. Fortunately, its jus a gap of 6 mths.

Now tt i am back. Do you miss the old me?

However, some things still changed. If not, i would haf totally gone for a journey for nothing.

Tendered My Resignation

2007-01-06T15:33:00.000+08:00

After a long haul, i've tendered my resignation yest.

But wats frustrating thing was tt my deputy director and my supervisor were on leave, so i had to hand it to my assistant manager who doesnt really know abt the situation and therefore i couldnt even make my piece.

It would have been a shocking revelation coz they didnt noe i was leaving and thus i was planning to explain alot of matters. They knew abt the rest of them but they didnt noe i was in it too.

After all the crap of everyone leaving and me struggling to stay on. At the end of the day, i was the 1st of my grp to go. But this time its different, ive gotten a job and will be starting my new job soon. I had agreed on tt end, so even if they wanted to keep me, everything is too late.

Nvm, wat matters is im leaving. Last day will be next fri but still pending the actual confirmation day from HR.

Marvin tendered with me as well. And one week after we leave, it will be Gim Fong's turn. The rest of them had all changed their minds, 2 had decided to stay, the rest of them will be leaving in feb or march. However, my company expected alot more to quit and thus they had hired 8 more newbies to fill up the gaps.

Thing is even with me n marvin gone, they still need ard 5 more seats, wats going to happen i do not noe, i jus wish all the best to those who are staying.

Will blog more abt tis tmr.

Xmas Nearing

2006-12-10T19:09:00.000+08:00

My co's xmas dinner coming, i believe its e same as everyone on the 22nd. Luckily no need go somewhere, except to take a lift down a few storeys and take e stairs to our function room (e only place wif internet access, lol), no need to dress up (hack, im going to attend wif watever i wore to work tt day). I hope there wun be much of silly games coz i am so not interested.

Yes, i am passive and boring. Cannot ar? Im saying tis, but perhaps i would still enjoy it, since i will be able to spend some last moments wif my whole grp. Its hard to gather all of us together, and tis is a gd chance since all of them will turn up as instructed without me bearing e agony of being e organiser. Tis might even be the final chance for us, be4 we all start leaving next mth.

My supervisors kept reminding us to go though, lol. They say its going to be interesting and food is going to be gd, but like always, we all dun buy tt. Lol.

Did a draw and found out the person whom ive got to prepare a gift for. And the irony is, hes not even in my departmt, i haf no idea who e hell he is. Fortunately, i managed to find a suitable (in my opinion) gift yest. Poor SZ co gift gift budget is $50, luckily mine is minimum 5 bucks. My prev co was $10.

I bought it 50% cheaper at tis place and on top of tt, i had a 20% off. Muahahha... I kinda like e gift myself too, but as usual, i will not buy it. I am happy coz its within my budget and i thot its pretty decent too.

Clocks, frams, towels, chocs are banned for our gifts, they said some ppl complained a few yrs back.

I wan to get some stuffs for my colleagues too. Sigh i am so going to be broke. I shd be settling for some chocs or cookies. Haven decided on the brand though.

I also need to get gifts for sz, my sis, 2 of my colleagues and many small gifts for other colleagues.

Yest i went to Cine's Pandora Box or something and saw so many necklaces tt i would love to own. No in fact, there are so many necklaces tt i love in cine itself. I still wan a 1 or 2 gb sd card and my mp3 player batt but tt comes later, or u can get it for me for xmas. Haha.

My perfume is running but my sis is getting for me. So happy.

Getting my pay tis thurs. I feel like going on a shopping spree, been so long since i last done tt. Recently i spent all my money on food and alcohol. Sigh. Lol.

Went to Taste Paradise the other day. And spent 100 bucks each... But im still glad i went there, after so long. Though it burnt a hole in my pocket.

I wan to spend some money to pamper myself, but then if i no job then how? Sigh, i noe i need to haf some money to tide myself over a certain period. But then my high expenses isnt going to help, and i haf no intention of making myself miserable by cooping myself at home everyday.

I jus wan to make myself happy, tts y i spent all those money. I do not wish to feel restricted at tis pt of time (when i am having a difficult time) jus coz i haf to think of so many things and stop myself fr going/eating at some places.

I just wan to go wif the flow now. I dun wan to be so hard on myself and make the already very miserable me even more miserable.

I feel like getting some things for myself.
1) 1 pair of jeans in blue (i only haf 1 in black now)
2) New heels - white, black, gold, green, pink (all my shoes wearing n tearing n smelling n dirtying, basically at risk of falling apart any second)
3) New clothes
4) Earrings (ive stopped wearing earrings, i need new ones, big long ones and those big retro kind)
5) Moisturisor (it ran out)

But be4 all tt, i need to dye my hair and haf a hair cut. I haven decided on the hair style though, headache. The colors i haf the idea, jus not so sure whether or not accepted at work. Lol. It might also hinder my job search but I wan a change.

I will not quit my job now, i will stay till end of jan. But i might continue to stay there for awhile. I will hold out till all of them leave at least. So i will tahan till 30/01/07 then see how from there.

Marvin, Sheena, Daniel and Chris will be leaving early jan, Gim Fong and Keith near end of Jan. Wendy will be staying, thankfully on tt, at least i dun haf to lunch alone, and we sit next to each other somemore.

Not so sure abt Seraphine and Meng Feng and Ken. I guess they shd be sticking ard for awhile.

Sigh, but those tt are very close to me will be gone. And i only haf Wendy. Sobz. Ppl all leave at the end of the day, especially in customer service where turn over rate is as high as sales line.

Truth is ppl come and go at the time. Its ok lah, jus take it in my stride.

If i can, hope i can survive here for awhile and then take part time studies. After im done then i can leave for greener pasture le. But all these are merely words. It a miracle to even think i can stay till end March. But i will try. =)

Xmas is nearing and i still have not decided on wat to do wif SZ yet. We'll definately be together but do wat? Lol. See how lor. I wonder wats everyone doing for xmas.

Tough Week

2006-12-03T18:22:00.000+08:00

Really wasted my mc on tues.

Went to newton wif my colleagues on wed. Like wat my colleague said, next time dun waste time organising anymore, coz its so sian anyways. Waste of time, jus e usual grp of us will do.

The food was bad for e stall we picked. Sigh. We then headed to ktv, opened a bottle of chivas, and had to do wif coke as mixer... Can u imagine, they only haf coke, green tea or tonic. Wat choice did we haf.

It was quite frustrating coz in a big grp, some only sing, some sing n drink alittle, some sing n drink alot, some no drink n no sing, some drink alot but no sing, how to settle e bill lidat.

Ended up there were some dispute, and its quite saddenin for one to even sms me, "next time wan to ask us pay, jus say, its not like we or i dun wan to pay"... Duhz, he totally misunderstood my words as usual. Its not like i haf any prob in asking them for money on behalf, its jus tt i haf no idea how to split the bill to be fair for all.

Ended up, my colleague offered to pay the whole 200 bucks bill coz he said every time tok abt money sure dispute, so he rather settle it. Tis is jus so not the right way.

Anyways, tt was history. I wun bring it up again. Anyways, our times together ending soon as well. 1 leaving tis dec, 3 leaving early jan, 1 leaving end jan, and e rest kiving the status. I am so going to miss a few of them.

How i wish the job could be more bearable so tt we could extend our time there. But in reality, things dun work tt way.

I tok to my ex colleague of my prev company. They are still interested in having me back and might be willing to wait till feb as well. I was tempted to say yes. But then again, i need to think it thru.

Quitting after my confirmation, i would need 1 mth's notice, and tt would leave it as march. Wait till tt long? I hardly think so. But I might not even get to wait till then, if they ask me to leave, it shd be ard jan. But tt would mean the paying back of money of coz.

On thurs, i met up wif kenneth and sz. Headed to bishan's dome, then cafe cartel then to amk's kbox. They were having 40% off everything coz it was duno wat anniversary celebration thingy. Not tt i care, coz i hate kbox. Their system, room, songs, tv, suck. But their service is gd though, and tts their only saving grace.

It was so boring can. And freezing and their systems and mic cock up so many times. The ktv was so boring even kenneth agreed. Luckily i decided to end it early, if not can die lor.

Kenneth's going india for 6 mths for exchange programme (his uni thingy). Wish him all the best and may he rtn safe n sound.

Then at night i was attacked by stomach cramps (gastric), it got very bad, the cramps come every 3-5 mins ard 4+am. I went to take a whole truckload of pills and the cramp slowed down to ard once every 15mins.

I headed to work on fri. Tried to work, but cant take the cramps, went to see doc, took e most painful jab ive ever taken. Doc said the jab will stop the spasms. But apparently, it was all crap.

I came back to work for abt an hr, i couldnt take it anymore, and had to leave. Yes, i took mc. Wasted half of my day working. Coz in the end, i got to pay back a full day's pay. Can it get any worst.

While i was away seeing doc, i saw my shitty cases bounched to another 2 colleagues. Sigh, i haf no idea wat will happen after i leave. But my colleagues said fortunately they r leaving together or be4 me anyways. Lol.

4 mcs altogether, sobz. 1 in dec though. Abt $300 bucks. Will try not to mc anymore.

I am still sick, can feel my stomach very wounded... Its still painful. No appetite to read also. Sigh. And now my digestive system cant retain or digest food. So wat goes in comes out, u noe wat i mean.

Tmr mon le... Full 5 days of working, provided if i dun work on sat though.

Must tahan!!! 1.5 weeks left to pay day. So broke now. Sobz.

Oh, my monitor died on my yest night. Got a new one today. LG LCD 17 inch, $200+. I really cant live without my pc. Was so happy to see it alive again.

Hope i feel better tmr.

Take care all of u.

I MC Today

2006-11-28T20:46:00.000+08:00

Had a stressful monday, duno y though every mon was bz as usual, but the supervisors made it worst by creating a pressurizing n irritating mood. The whole ambience for tt day was tensed n awful. Wasnt easy for everyone.

Went for dinner at Village afterwards. Then to ktv. Wanted to keep it non alcohol, coz ive been drinking too much lately. I told my frenz i will not drink for the next 18 days till my next pay and every laughed. And i so happened to already drink on the 1st day. Lol.

But i didnt exactly go drinking though we did drank, but it was like jus a few bottles. And we had no mood, didnt even bother to finish the last drink and left. We also left early for e ktv. Decided to take mc today wif my colleague though we didnt reach home too late, was still ard 12+am. But lazed ard till 2am.

Wanted to keep e mc till tis thurs coz i had plans. But i was feelin quite sian. And my colleague shared e same sentiments.

Got test tmr as well, sian. Supposed to be today but i mc so got to take it tmr. Got 2 tests tis week, duno y they decided to torture us recently. But i organised a dinner trip to newton after work. Thinking of tt also sian. Grp of 9. Sian. But i cannot dun go, coz if i dun go, it will be cancelled as usual. I dun go some others will drop out also. I had to hold them together. Lol.

Abit wasteful today's mc. Coz i seriously prefer thurs de. But sian to go today also.

3 mcs tis mth le, $240. Urgh, nvm.

16 days more to payday. Hope i dun get fired. Lol.

My sis is downloading naruto from epi 1 to watch. My gawd.

Fruits basket is coming to a end, the last chapter. And i hate the ending.

I got over the deathnote anime coz its exactly e same anyways, and i dun like to wait one epi after one epi after one epi.

Recently no gd movies to watch also. Sian.

Inuyasha manga shd also end soon, its nv ending.

Hunter X Hunter duno will continue or not. Duno wat will happen to the characters.

Bleach, sigh. Nvm.

Tired leh. Though i slpt quite abit, but i got a feeling i wun be able to slp tonight. Haha. C how lor. Sian. Gotta work tmr. Sobz. Who will save me???

Rain Of Glass

2006-11-26T20:29:00.000+08:00

I guess i will not quit end of tis yr at the end of e day, might even be able to pull thru my confirmation, but tts if im strong enuff, otherwise it will be byebye jan07.

Not like its so easy anyways, dec n jan r 2 crucial mths for e company to ask u 2 leave. We wouldnt get any bonus if they ask us to leave any day next mth, n u would jus wonder y e hell u tolerated all e crap n shit for.

Unless i noe e exact kind of jobs to look for next n actually make myself do it, i will jus bump ard in tis job 1st though its going to be super lonely coz they r all leaving...

I am rather close wif some of them, and though im trying not to get attached to them, things jus happened. And i noe becoz of tt i will feel sad when they leave but hey, tts life. Nothin is forever. I kinda like some of them though we didnt spend alot of time together. Some r nice n sweet at times, while some r... nvm...

I also need to noe whether will i be able to survive without them after they left. I wan to noe how far i can tolerate in tt circumstance. If i cant i'll jus leave as well. But at least a few will still be ard though, so its not tt bad i guess.

They hired another batch of newbies. Its kinda strange n amazing at the same time how many ppl came n left. Its like u will wonder how many ppl actually worked in tis co. be4. Lol

Coz of my work location, it jus so happened one day me n colleague hopped to acid bar on a sudden decision and ive been hangin ard there ever since. I did try to stop going there last week, lol, coz its drying my bank. But i went there again twice tis week.

And every time i go there, i will definately bring a new person there.

Yest i brought SZ there, then saw Kenneth who i reprimanded for not contacting me for 1.5 yrs. Lol. He was wif a grp of frenz, Jiayi, Sheena, Salley, Meiyue.

Oh and then something happened also. The customers above me knocked the glass off the table, shattered and rained directly on me. I was shock and the bar froze. Everyone working there was very worried but fortunately i wasnt injured.

It was all within a split second, i heard glass shattering and the next moment i realised i was showered by the glass pieces. I touched my hair and dropped the pieces. Its not the bar's fault. And they haf been very nice to me as well. It jus e dumb customers who didnt even apologise sincerely.

I was still very nice n polite n i did not pursue at all. I was in a gd mood. So i jus let it be.

Will be meeting Kenneth wif SZ again tis comin thurs coz hes leaving for India in dec for half a yr.

Start of a new week again. 6 days of ... Sigh, nvm i will not think abt it.

Tuesday Bluez

2006-11-21T22:39:00.000+08:00

Yo yoz. Surprise surprise...

I am so tired but i dun feel like slpin. Duno y leh. I noe if i now jus rest myself alittle i would fall aslp immediately... But i dun wan to. Dun wan my night to jus go lidat. I am mad i noe.

Strangely, i developed tuesday bluez after tis job. Somehow tues seemed to be so much more miserable than mons which of coz doesnt seem to be tt way for the rest. Perhaps like one of my colleagues who mentioned, its due to my retardation. lol.

But really mah, mon still ok de lor, but tues is like shit lor. Mon i very hyper de though lack of slp. But tues i am like dead fish.

Today, forgetting tt it was tues and i was in gd mood. I went wif a very goofy mood. Actually i noe where tt goofiness came fr lah, jus tt i wun say it here...

I was happy and filled wif energy. But then hor, when it came to lunch time, my energy suddenly all drained away. Lol. I found it very hard to concentrate and time crawled. I told tt colleague who said i am retarded tt i no mood, and he said, of coz mah, its tues for u...

YA HOR~ Hahahahah...

I feel like mc-ing again, but then last week i jus took one leh... 80 bucks leh... Sigh...

But cannot take it liao...

So sian sian sian... I went to eat outside jus now and bought some things too. Tok abt saving money, sigh. But i didnt drink hor, though i did alittle on sat. But it was jus a harmless bottle.

I tried to organise another grp outin for my colleagues. Bringing 11 ppl together is so tiring lor... If not for others i wun do it de. Though tentatively its set on next wed or thurs, and 4 haven replied me yet.

U may ask y i so urgent, coz if i ask them tmr, cfm no replies de. I noe their dead patterns inside out. Took me whole night to at least get some answers lor. But it was abt 65% so i am happy.

I still haf not thot of where to eat though. Lazy to think now. And they also no ideas de.

One new guy (Daniel) smsed me, asking if i was leaving soon then wan to gather up coz it was so sudden. I told him i did think of leaving but trying hard to hold back. I think i can tolerate bah... U think?

Ok lah, think i go sleep le... Gotta wake at 5am... Sian...

Can i mc?

Sigh...

Congrats! Congrats!

2006-11-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

Congrats to me~~~ *throws confetti all ard* But tis is no happy post.

Ive finally survived the 3 mths agency bond in my current job. 18 Nov was my official 3 mth, and i cancelled my OT on tt sat coz i knew i couldnt take it anymore.

It might haf been a very short time for most of u, but not so for me. Its been a long haul. It felt more like 6 mths.

Nevertheless, i am proud to haf endured through tis 3 mths of torment. *GIVES MYSELF A BIG PAT ON MY BACK (LUCKY I CAN STILL REACH.)*

I had on so many occasions when i just wanted to disappear from work, reach home, type my resignation and throw it on my manager's desk. Though its nothing to do wif her. But the frustration made me lost my mind on so many occasions.

I became more n more nasty. Having to deal with horrible and nasty ppl every day... If i continue in tis job for any longer. I would most prob becum cold, sian and heartless. Which in a way is wat i wan and dun wan to becum. Dun get it? Nvm. Tts jus me.

I intended to quit end of tis mth, coz i already had advanced pay, if i leave now i haf to retn them alot of money. But it would be quite silly at tis pt coz to endure another mth, i would get pro-rated bonus, which is like abt 300+... I dun really care abt e money, wats 300+ for another mth of mental torture, but its jus dumb to leave now...

I noe i haf not blogged for so long, blogger prompted me for my user id and i forgot wats tt. Lol.

Cross my heart, I had really genuinely wanted to stay in tis job for 1-2 yrs. At least to make it more stable coz none of my jobs ive held previously for the past 3 yrs lasted more than 3 mths... Sounds like a useless, spoilt person toking, but who cares. If i explained in details which i wun, u noe its not my fault and i am not procrastinating nor am i in self denial mode.

Being in the job itself got tougher each day. Recently, it became so boring. I narrowed from 2 yrs plan to 1 yr, to jus cross my confirmation which is 6 mths, to after dec, to tis mth.

It wasnt easy.

I am abit stubborn though, i wan to leave, but i feel fucked up to pay them back my mcs. Coz our mcs are unpaid leave. I took one in oct, and i paid back. Tis mth though they changed the system, i took 2 mcs which is like 160 bucks. So if i leave before 6 mths, i would haf to pay alot of money back... And in a way, i am not willing to do so.

However, its not easy to survive till 18 feb 07 which happen to my chinese new yr which also happened to be my gd fren, SZ's bday.

But watever, they might even jus fire me before the end. And hire a bunch of newbies. Its already 12 new ppl after my batch, and abt the same no. of ppl left & fired as well during tis period of time.

If i strangely, magically managed to survive till feb, i would most prob jus stay till end of next yr. Though its going to be very lonely coz everyone i knew will be gone by jan. But i highly doubt so as well, since the last time they cfm someone is like 2 yrs back. And unless i stumbled upon some numbing potion, its unimaginable to even think tt i will stay till then.

Sigh. But i am trying my best u noe. I gave my best le. It took me alot of strength to tahan tis 3 mths u noe.

My prev company wanted me back, but its hard for me to retn u noe. But tts even harder to start everything all over again. And seriously i haf no idea wat to look for or rather i haf lost the confidence in looking for another one, fearing all the jobs would end up like the ones ive had for the past yrs again.

I of coz understand tt jobs r jobs, most of the time, they r fucked up and we had to endure it and we at the end of the day still haf to earn a living, especially when we all haf so much commitmts.

But if i forever think tis way, and stick to watever shit im facing. I will nv be able to break away fr tis.

Though i haf no idea how much time ive left in tis world, but i noe i shdnt jus stop here. At least its still easier for me to continue searching in hope of finding where i wan to go then to do it 10 yrs later.

I wan to leave le. But i mus tahan. Must ren till jan... But if i can ren till next jan i might as well cross my confirmation right, or wait till they fire me (fire u = ask u to leave = no compensatn btw).

I very scared to go work tmr... I haf 1 big shitty case, caused by one dumb counter staff who screwed tis cust. And now i got to clear tt stupid girl's shit. I hope she gets wat she deserved. Coz i am so going to complain abt her after hopefully i managed to resolve e case tmr.

I haf 2 small shit cases to follow up also.

Sian sian sian sian...

Oh and i am kinda broke until the next pay which is 4 weeks away. Urgh.

See how lor, maybe for next 2 weeks or so, i go supermarket buy bread and make sandwich everyday to eat.

And i shall not go drinking nor eat at fancy restaurants. But see how lah. Lol.

I plan to come back straight after work for next 2 weeks, to save money and eat maggie mee. But 1st i would need to go and buy maggie mee 1st... Lol.

But if i dun go out haf fun hor, i would feel even worst lor. Hmmmmmmmmm...

Ok lah, i blog another time le. Soon, i hope.

Sank The Movie

2006-10-29T11:50:00.000+08:00

Do not watch Sinking Of Japan, no matter wat u are enticed wif... I wasnt interested but still went wif my fren. It barely made it, i tolerated and did wanted to leave the cinema... I am amazed i managed to stay thru out the movie.

But of coz to add on top of tt, i went to the worst cinema (bugis) and the seats still sucks and i left wif motion sickness and a big giddiness and headache...

Wat abt the movie topping the charts in Japan, Korea and Hong Kong? Did the audience all went becoz of Kou Shibasaki and Shinji Higuchi?

I got a feeling the movie was jus a try out platform to showcase Japan's special effects... And i dare say the effects are pretty gd, pretty impressive, pretty real... Its interesting to see some parts of Japan underwater... Somehow reminds me of sharks tale.

But they spent so much time n effort on the CG, they forgot about the pacing and plot. I noe its from a famous novel, but they shd haf adapted the story better right...

Editing sucks in tis movie, often emotional scenes got cut off abruptly... And i was like WTF? Try to save screen time ar? Then cut down the effects shots lah... They all look the same wat...

And the sound hor, aiyo... Sucks as hell... No impact, the surround is like shit... Imagine natural disasters leh, the greatest opportunity to showcase sound effects skills but they failed miserably... I did not feel the impact at all...

I didnt even cry in tis movie... Coz the pacin is so slow till u wouldnt be able to follow the movie and all the emo scenes became so cheesy...

Imagine, when e couple knew they r going to separate the next day (forever), the girl actually ask e guy, "Can you make love to me?"... Then e guy bursts into tears for like 5 mins and replied, "I cant do it now..." Wa biangz...

I actually laughed out lor...

Sigh...

Duno isit i changed le or not... I seldom cry at movies anymore...

The guy beside me was so fed up he started smsing...

Even he cannot take it... Lol...

Anyways, i think some will still cry over e movie... But for the rest, dun waste ur time lah... Go watch Prestige... I wanna catch Flushed Away... Open next week, i am so excited...

Did i mentioned abt The Guardian? Watched it on mon night... The movie was alright, still watchable... Although the movie is very predictable. But during the bootcamp training damn funny, think guys will relish in it... I left feeling depressed too... Sad lor... But tis kind of movie like tis de lah.... Cfm got main characters die de...

OT Queen

2006-10-22T17:56:00.000+08:00

I watched The Prestige last night and gawd, i love tt show. The plot is interesting and exciting. Alot of depth and i love the ways the script writer and editor overlap the story. Back and forth from the past and present. It makes me stay glued to the end... And not to mention the twists and turns of the truth...

Though the twists n turns werent something as original as Sixth Sense or The Others, but it certainly made its impact nonetheless... Although it didnt WOWed us, it certainly made the audience gasped...

The movie was so grey, it left me feeling heavy and unjustifiable... Pls dun watch it if u already noe the story, its very ptless tt way... The whole suspense of the movie is the truth... If u already noe the plot, u would sleep ur way thru e movie...

I just thot it was a simple rivalry battle between 2 magicians, i didnt expect there was so much more to the story... I am glad i insisted on watching tis instead of The Departed.

However, the movie certainly isnt for the less educated/intellectual or those who prefered comedies... Coz most probably you would haf fallen asleep within the 1st 30 mins... I wasnt expected it to be a heavy movie, so i went wif a tired body n mind and i was struggling keeping my eyes open...

But i had to, if you missed wat they said, it meaningless to stay on... Those who are more intelligent would haf also gotten more out of the movie and it would make a good discussion topic as it opened up alot of thots... Coz of all the subtleties of the underlaying messages... But for normal audience, it would jus be another quite interesting movie...

Its been quite some time since ive watched a movie of tis calibre. It felt more than 3 hrs instead of 2 hrs... Tts how much they made my brain work...

I am so not used to tis weekend, coz i didnt work yest... And the silly thing was, i didnt noe it was hol. If it wasnt for my colleagues, i would haf came to work yest 7+am... lol... And my ignornace became a joke the past week...

I work alt sats, but for the past 1 mth, i came back every OFF sat to do OT. On my own accord of coz, and obviously for the money... But also coz i jus wan to keep myself occupied although i am so drained wif all the over time...

I requested OT for tmr, wed and next sat (my off day) for next week... Coz tats the only 3 days they opened up for OT. I am now officially named the OT QUEEN in my office... Lol... Although i dun mind doing OT, but tt doesnt mean i enjoy it... I am certainly not looking forward to working 11.5 hrs tmr...

I am not sure how long would i be able to carry in tis job, so might as well make the most out of it... Besides, i haf to be happy tt my OT is being paid for as compared to the prev jobs i did... My HR knowing me, will always ask me if i can help wif OT whenever they needed more manpower...

Most of the time i would always give a green light, but i told them jus make sure the company pays me... Hahahaha...

I guess i shd be able to clear most of my things very soon... And then i would blog as usual... Besides, we just hired 7 new ppl, i doubt i will haf any chance to do OT after tis...

Tmr the malays in my office would be having half day offs... So we can all already predict its going to be a hell day tmr, since we also noe alot of ppl will be taking "mc" tmr...

I jus hope ppl dun call up coz its holidays for gawd sake. Pls be nice...

And envy those of u whos offing tmr also...

Alright, shall end here. Back to my chores...

DEATH NOTE ANIME

2006-10-18T18:35:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG...

DEATH NOTE ANIME OUT ALREADY!!!

Just watched e 1st 2 epi... OMG OMG OMG...

SZ, go watch, the real KIRA... Not e movie one... The original one...

OMG OMG OMG...

My heart was pounding, was so excited seeing the manga story come alive...

My new colleague told me de, i didnt even noe came out liao...

OMG OMG OMG OMG...

Okok, enuff of my excitement... E rest of u can catch the movie though... Tok about tis another time...

Seriously they shd haf done tis many yrs back...

Updates

2006-10-08T18:33:00.000+08:00

I am still sick, and ive not recovered... It may be due to the haze, or it may be just myself.

I haf not used my pc for the past week, coz my house's going thru the upgrading and u cant imagine e mess, dust, dust, dust and more dust. Sent my dog to pet hotel and burnt a hole in my pocket... It was very sad when hes not ard... Took him back yest and its hard not to get him stepping onto the dusty forbidden areas which formed e majority of the house.

My fish had comitted suicide. She paralysed herself, and couldnt get up to eat. And thus, after 6 days, she finally starved herself to death. Rest in peace, wu fu... She had been wif us for many yrs, exceeding her own lifespan. And i am glad shes gone to a better place.

Im online today, coz no choice i got to type a small report coz i got no time to do in the office. But im kinda lazy and unfit to do it now also u see. Alright lazy is the main reason.

Watever, next week the upgrading still continues... After i forced myself to start my report, and cover my pc wif dirty n dusty blankets, i am going to say byebye for another week. Hopefully the project finishes on time. Coz i miss my air con, normal toilets, warm water shower and my usual life...

Cya next week.

Ill >>> iLL

2006-10-01T19:30:00.000+08:00

I have fallen ill again... Like, wats new right.

Anyways, its saddening to see my blog abandoned. But i really haf either no time or no energy. Yest was supposed to be my off day. But due to shortage of manpower now, i went back to do 5 hrs of OT. i would have done another 3 hrs if i have not arranged to meet up wif SZ.

Ive been clocking OT alot lately, now got chance then do lor... After they hired more ppl, wan to do also dun haf le. And i better earn more while i can be4 they fire me.

Tmr i will be working from 730am-7pm... Sigh... I dun even wan to think about it.

My job has been on the rocks lately. But tts all im going to say for now. It only makes me feel yet again, tt all my efforts n e hard work i put in, though more than anyone else, is jus me being plain stupid. Then again, when was it justisfiable or appreciated anyways.

I will be changing seats tmr. Hopefully at a new place, things will turn for the better, i hope.

My mum said ive been too tired, tts y i kept falling sick, and not recovering...

Oh, did i mentioned i went to play tennis wif my colleague and i fell on tues? I fell and grazed and bruised myself during the 1st ball. Then i realised i was playing too serious... Lol. I only realised how painful it was after i went back...

Showering was a big challenge. Not to mention climbin stairs and walking...

My house from tues till next next fri, 10 days, will be going thru e upgrading... Sigh, no toilets to use... Duno how... And not yet finished somemore, think next yr they come back do the kitchen additional room or something... So meanwhile cant cook too. They will be tearing down our kitchen cabinet, up till the stove area... Its gonna be very messy. Not to even mention the reconstruction of the 2 toilets...

My family had a big quarrel today. Resulted in my mum display her unhappiness living here and my sis asking my mum to leave. So e conclusion was to sell away tis house 2 yrs later, money split between them both and everyone separate their own ways...

Sigh... Looks like i am really going to carry on renting rooms for a long time. If tts e case, most prob i will give up my degree. I dun think i can earn enuff to cover all the commitments... Then again, when we separate, how am i going to bring my son wif me. Ive not encountered any landlords who allow their tenant to cook pets...

Besides, hes goin to be trapped in e room for his whole lifetime. Its gonna be very miserable and i dun wan him to go thru the kind of life tt i am going to.

See how lah... Theres still some time... Shall see.

A Quick One

2006-09-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

Thot i shd blog abit, while waiting for my turn to shower...

I could haf blogged last weekend, coz sat i off, and SZ didnt date me... But then silly thing was, jus when i wanted to blog, my sis started to hog the pc to do her assignments... Oh well...

My beloved lunch buddy (colleague) had resigned... I am so sad... I haf no idea how to feel when the rest of them resigned... Sigh, but we r meeting for tennis after work tis coming tues, tts if nothing crops up... Gonna book it tmr.

I cant see very well today... Think i am too tired... Everything is so hazy and my eyes are closing, even if i am typing all these...

Last fri was my lunch buddy's last day... So i organised a farewell gathering after work, 9 of us went for dinner at mushroom pot and then ktv till 12 after tt... I was beat, still gotta work tmr u noe...

Yest i went for John Tucker Must Die movie... I bought 2 lipgloss, and got 2 voucher to exchange for 2 pearls in retn at Isetan. The guy will open the oysters in front of u, the whole place stinks, imagine it in e midst of Isetan... But its pretty amazing seeing him digging e pearl wif a knife out of e poor oyster's tummy... I haf not seen tis in real life be4...

I also bought a tennis skirt. Lol... I like 2, but only bought 1. Sad. Then we headed to Country Mana and then to esplanade. Managed to catch Juz B's performance at waterfront... Juz B's e malay grp from superband which i raved about... They sang a mixture of malay, chinese and english songs...

I still like one of the lead, so handsome...

We then headed to Marina Mandarin (my fav lounging area). Drank my fav drink Lycheetini or Lychee Martini so to speak... I only had a glass, budget u noe, budget... I haf tis thing tt i drink alcohol very fast, so u can imagine how tough it is for me to sip my drink for hrs... No idea how ppl can sip it slowly...

Ive always wanted to just gulp it in one go... Lol... Tts y i still drink beer, coz beer is something i can drink like water and yet u wun get drunk... I haf no idea y ppl always tell me, "I drink hard liquor one, i dun drink beer"... I mean like, yah, obviously u choose hard liquor over beer, but thing is tts not a reason to say u dun drink beer wat... Its jus like water wat... Something like tonic water... Lol...

As much as i love lounging there and observing all the rich/atas ppl... The drinks there r still very ex, not tt i mind though...

Sigh, i go shower le... My sis wan to use the pc... Till next time...

RIP

2006-09-06T20:04:00.000+08:00

I cant believe Steve Irwin is died. Sigh.............. Killed due to a sting ray somemore... How can it be... So sad... May u rest in peace...

I noe i noe... I will blog...

But then i wake up at 5+ am every morning to go work leh... Where got energy to blog... Soon lah... Soon ok! Promise!!!

Maths!!!! >_<"

2006-08-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

I am still undergoing training... And then today we were doing maths the whole day!!! Calculations!!! Can die i tell u...

E 6 of us nearly died, wif e exception of a guy whos although sick but still got to come work coz they say sick also mus come coz cannot miss training. Anyways, hes such a maths person, he suddenly got so enthusiastic over e maths probs... Hes so happy today... Lol. He said its so exciting n challenging whereas e rest of us were like brain dead.

Killed alot of brain cells u noe... And they all thot of leaving, too scary n stressful... Lol.

Hes not gd wif pc though, but hes damn gd n fast wif maths. Kudos man! E rest of us were jus swimming ard. Although i did well initially, being e 1st to solve e 1st qns. But when it came to e actual exam ar, 5 of us failed... Muahahaha, including me... And guess who passed?

He passed wif 90 over percent lor!!! Siao one...

We didnt exactly fail, jus tt if u fall under 80%, my trainer considers us fail. Theres a girl who scored 49% though... Very hard one lor, how to score 80%? I didnt even bring back e paper for revision, muahahaha...

Our 1st day, besides all e orientation n stuffs, we jus had lectures, e whole day... Can sleep ar... I so long no listen to lectures liao... And then my eye sight bad mah, cant really see e board somemore... Muahahahah... Especially when it comes to numbers...

Then 2nd and 3rd day is learning their software systems etc...

4th day maths >_< Then tmr more theory lectures then thurs exam again... Urgh...

Im very tired now... Shall tok about e interviews n e job soon.

Tis is an angry post, no pt reading it.

2006-08-21T20:50:00.000+08:00

I am feeling so miserable. I am so miserable i wan to bitch about everything (or at least wats going on). But i cant. Coz i am the stupid one who used my real name for my site ( i am vain, i like to use my name every where).

I dun lie to strangers tt i dun blog. So any idiot can google my name and *poof*, u can see my blog in e 1st 3 links.

Urgh.

I haven been updating coz ive started working (my sis's been hoggin e pc for her assignments as well). Today is my 3rd day.

I am bonded for e next 3 mths. My job is a 3 yr contract but i am not bonded though. I am a 3 yr contract staff, which is crap coz i lost out on e benefits. I thot it was a PERMANENT position. I am not a freshie bumping ard. I wan to find a long term stable job ok!

I made a wish on my bday tt i wish for a full time job. But i forgot to say wat kind of job.

I am so sick of ppl telling me, "U will find an ideal job!", "Ur next job will be better!", crap.

They told me those when i was schlin, and my 1st job? Fucked up. Then they tell me e same thing, and my 2nd job? Fucked up. Then they told me e same thing. My 3rd job? Super fucked up. Then comes e fourth job and ppl said im lucky and all tt crap. Wat happened in e end? Super super fucked up. It fucked up even more when i complained out of frustration and ppl told me its not e end of e world.

Since when did i say it was e end of the world? U rich brats haf no idea how tough it is to survive in e real world ok!!!

And then my 5th job? Fucked up. Then wat happened? Ppl told me e same thing, "U will find a gd job one, dun worry!"...

How fucked up can these ppl get?

Its like saying u will win lottery and every time u lose i will tell u, confirm win next time... Of coz one bloody day, u will eventually win due to probability. And then i am supposed to say, "See, i told u, ur life is not so suay. U will win someday."

WTFFFFFFFF!!!!! Yah, one bloody day.

Y cant u jus see tt, even if u haf e same qualifications, same skills, same human, same everything, tt ur life, fate, destiny can go totally different? How some can jus be so blessed wif great 1st jobs, and some never ever finding somewhere they can settle down contentedly...

It has nothing to do wif expectations. U think those blessed ppl expect very little, tts y they r rich, tts y they found gd jobs wif great bosses, colleagues, tts y they haf happy family?

Pls lah, when ur environment is blessed, it is blessed. Its out straight one mah, ur boss so gd to u, ur pay so high, e other one's boss like shit, pay very low etc. Its got nothing to do wif expectations, asking too much, too demanding or watever shit.

Although i haf to admit some really asked too much for their own gd, and never finding one and always complaining. But im not toking about those ignorant ppl.

Only 3 days, and i already realised i am so suay. U can be ignorant, blur, new, fresh but lucky, so u get ur way wif it. I am seasoned, hardworking and well balanced but i get all e dirty shit.

I took up tis job to shut everyone ard me. To shut all e crap and also to prove to everyone tt my next job isnt something happily ever after as long as u dun give up.

But of coz, i wun deny deep down i am hoping things would change for e better as well. I am always prepared to apologise and say i am wrong, things haf indeed became better.

But reality slaps hard in my face ok. -_______-"

U can tell someone patronisingly tt things will becum better, but u will not be able to comprehend how much more tt person yearns for it than jus ur mere word of politically correct statements.

I wanted to take my time to find a gd job. But all the pressure made me bit it out of spite. I took it realising theres no future at e last min.

Wat crap about aiyah, jus work and then find a job meanwhile.

Do u noe i cannot jus take mc or leave in my job? Unless u wan me to be fired or get lesser money. If i can jus take leave or mc, i wouldnt mind hogging e job and look for greener pastures.

U guys say until like its so easy lidat. Wat no stress, u hearsay only, u noe nuts.

My mum is e worst, she said i am a useless, slow, incapable person. So i shd jus stick to a lowly, simple job and jus live day by day. She said i shd stop looking for better jobs (coz they wouldnt wan me coz i am e worst) and jus stick wif tis (e kind tt nobody wans). And then when she realised i am not happy, she is pissed off tt i myself am e one who agreed and yet i am so unhappy about it.

Yah yah, serves me right. Serves me right for anyhowly taking a job tt i feel very unhappy about jus so tt i can give u money coz u kept complaining no money when i can jolly well see u suffer and jus bump ard till i used my last dropped of self-earned savings.

I am not like those freshies liao leh. I dun wan to work 3 mths, quit, look for jobs again, knowing how bloody tough its for me. I told u i cannot work tis job and look at the same time. My leave's got to be balloted a few rounds. And if we anyhow take mc its going to affect my work conduct, which leads to many other things.

I heard things like "if i noe ur job like tis, i would haf adviced u not to take it". Bloody hell, if u really mean it, when i initially told u, u would haf BOTHERED to find out more from me when i told u about it. If u r a true fren or family, u would haf bothered. U would haf been concerned.

Rather than saying, "up to u, u decide lor.", "after 3 mths then see how", "flip coin", "its ur life, so u decide urself, i am not saying anything", "wow, tts cool, got job gd! take! take! gd start!".

And then after i took it, come telling me, "aiyah ur job no gd", "aiyah y u so stupid go take", tis n tt.

I am so tired but i cant sleep. And tis is driving me even more crazy. And plus i think i am pmsing. I got to wake up at 6+ am every morning and yet i jus cant sleep before 3am. Its frustrating.

My insomia seems to be getting worst. I haf no idea wat e hell's going on. And my backache had worsened lately as well. I think my whole body/system/mind's jus starting to crash n breakdown.

At tis rate, i will burn out very soon.

I think i may need medical help very soon. Or at least do a x-tray on my spine.

But i will only get my pay next mth. Urgh.

Aiyah, watever. I am alone. So i jus haf to suck everything in.

Updates, Sort Of

2006-08-17T11:32:00.000+08:00

I finally haf e time to sit down and blog. I haf so many drafts i haf no idea whether to write them or not. Usually i will jus put a title and save as draft then cum back later to write it during my free time and publish it.

But then coz i haf lagged so much, i haf no mood to write those anymore. lol. I haf one "Wat Fast Wat Furious", but since its been like wat, 2 weeks... Theres not much pt in toking about e show. I also watched Click, but i haf no mood to write about tt. Go watch Click though.

Finally i haf done everything, all e errands...

I am so tired. Been out everyday (multiple times) for the past 2 weeks, travelling to so many unfamiliar places, doing so many errands. I jus finished e last errand i had to do. Although i still haf clothes to pack, clothes to iron and floor to vacuum... Urgh. Can dun do or not?

Yest i spent the whole morning doing medical checkup (I had to move back and forth 3 buildings in orchard! Becoz of tt, i got darker, sigh, again. Dun ask me how is my report, i also duno.) and then went TPY to meet my mum to do her errands. I closed our joint account, coz she complained no money. Then I went to do more errands.

Initially we were planning to go gym. But when i got home, i was beat. And my son was so happy i didnt wan to disappoint him by going out again. But of coz, tts jus an excuse. I was so tired how to go gym, so in e end, my mum went wif them.

I stayed at home to clear my son's mess. Wanted to sleep but i still had many more things to do... And when i was done, its already near dinner, so i went to make dinner etc.

Had a chat wif SZ tis morning. Lol, her alarm got prob so she missed work and lost half a day's of money.

I had terrible dreams lately. I had another dream where i was trapped in tis house wif a whole grp of ppl. And then we started to kill one another much like e horror movies. But it wasnt our own evilness tis time. We were possessed by "things"... But e spirit/spirits... Oh my son jus pooped, wait ar...

Ok, back. I also jus made my lunch btw, oat cereal. lol.

Now where was i? Oh ok, but e spirit/spirits dun simply possess one fixed person, it moves fr one to one or multiple ppl. So it was hard to predict whos been possessed. Or were they or some of them really possesed? Aiya, my sis jus called. Wait ar.

Alamak, cant i blog n eat in peace?

So anyways, we were hiding n all tt. Frenz were being killed one by one, etc. It was gorey n gruesome then. I wasnt possessed, was more focused on how to not get killed...

Last night, i also dreamt of horrible stuffs though i cant really remember most of it. But theres tis part where Ru mei (Renne) saw me near my neighbourhood (my old yishun hdb), she stayed e next BLK, which mus be a joke if she read tis, since she dun stay anywhere near there n hdb somemore.

Anyways, she saw me, and told me e scariest thing. She said she can see ghosts. And tt i haf one following me... Then she went on n on to describe "him", i was going mad then n i kept telling her i dun wan to noe... And then she continued theres another one, a female one and they r jus right behind me...

It was so creepy can!

Last week, SZ told me she dreamt my face was covered by a mist of dark veil or something... So scary. Cant see my face coz of e dark shadow... Damn creepy.

So anyways, tt 2 ghosts followed me and eventually wanted to kill me etc... I am so sick of dealing wif death, y dun i jus get killed instead.

I write more later. Finish my oat 1st, very soft liao.

Happy Birthday! Erm... To me!

2006-08-14T23:14:00.000+08:00

Theres still less than an hr left, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

I absolutely haf no time to blog proper.

Oh, my poor fren SZ kena food poisoning. Get well soon.

Coincidence

2006-08-10T17:28:00.000+08:00

Jus came back fr one interview. So tired, waited there for more than an hr be4 e actual interview start. Had a grp interview. I was e only idiot who came so early, e rest were like late. So i waited e longest. But e interview was very nostalgic. Im sure u wonder y.

It was e same as my sales job interview 2 yrs back. Same thing, grp of 4. Same thing, 3 gals, 1 guy. Same thing, i was the corner one and e last to speak. Same thing i was at the right corner. Same thing, e guy was e 2nd one.

And then same thing, there was a retail person in e grp, last time one was a waitress (i consider f & b retail as well), tis time one was a gal selling clothes, shall not say e brand here. But its a mid range boutique brand. Same thing, e retail person was e 3rd.

But tt gal not friendly one, e 3 of us were chatting wif each other, maybe she was waiting for us to make e move. She must be feeling so sian we left her out.

Im not sure if its better to be in a grp for interviews or alone. I kinda resented it for a start, but i gotta admit tt there is definately pressure tt makes me speak well and speak better.

After e interview, we left to go to e station. One gal called Priya left to meet her fren, shes e experienced one and shes very frendly. We chatted e moment she stepped into e reception area. While e other 2 were scattered elsewhere.

I like gals lidat.

So anways, e retail gal called Teng Teng walked off 1st and left alone. And then nearing e station, e guy caught up wif me to g back together. I dun remember his name though. Lol. Eng something or something Eng.

Coincidentally, we stay at the same area. Both of us alighted at YCK. Before tt, while we were in e train, my agent called me and said im shortlisted for paper test tmr morning. Same thing, my sales one he also called me immediately and told me to go back office e next day, except tt e job was offered. Tis one after paper test, still got another interview if u score well.

STRESSED leh!!! I no exams since secondary, everything returned to old sch liao lor.

Anyways, we were chatting and my agent called. I told him e news and his face immediately dropped. And he kept quiet. It was rather awkard. Then after 4 mins, his agent called and hes shortlisted as well, so hes happy again n resumed conversation.

Im sure Priya is shortlisted as well coz of her experience.

So i will be seeing them tmr morning again.

E guy very cute, he said he cant sleep last night coz he kept thinking of wat to say during e interview. I guess i am indeed more experienced in interviews. I had passed tt stage. He said he duno and wore jeans n t shirt to some interviews... Tts so strange, considering he is in his late twenties. *shrug*

E retail gal wore slippers too. But then i think it didnt really matter for tis one. I saw e staffs wearing denim skirts.

One thing though, I think its e way u project ur words. While during some ppl's speech, u dun see any responses or worst see ppl in a daze. When it was my turn, i had them nodding (interviewees included, im surprised they listened, lol) and then some even smiled over some things i said.

Like i said, i am experienced in interviews. But tts nothing wonderful to tok about. Wats worst? Knowing ur interview went smoothly and very well and not getting e job, or having a bad interview jittering, stumbling, poor answers but got e job?

Although i felt i didnt do anything wrong, but i gave eye contacts to e interviewees as well during my speech. Hmm, its working habit mah, they r listening/looking/reacting at me, i cant jus ignore them and only concentrate on e interviewers. Lol. But of coz, like i said, i am e only idiot who do tis kind of things.

Busy day tmr. Morning a 2 hr paper test, then later afternoon another interview at another company.

I hope it turns out well. Cant wait to start working again. If i still dun get tis 2 jobs, or 3 including e mon one, then i think i can go die liao.

Middle Earth Inhabited NDP or the other way round?

2006-08-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

I hoped u enjoyed ur ND hol, well-smacked in the middle of boring working week, no?

I was at home e whole day, everyday is holiday for a jobless person, not tt i haf nothing to do n slacking ok? Looking for jobs is even more stressful than completing a job. But tts me. Coz its never easy for me.

Oh, i had a dreary dream, 2 nights be4. E grp of us were being chased by dinosaurs. So we were constantly running, hiding, running and hiding. Well, since we cant really fight dinosaurs wif no weapons, we just haf to keep running. And for some reasons e particular grp of dinosaurs were jus bent on killing all of us.

Dun ask me y they r bent, i guess u dun qns y e monsters only target e main leads in movies. I think perhaps there were other dinosaurs killing the rest of e world, jus tt i didnt noe. To eliminate e world of humans! Lol. Just tt my point of view obviously only follow me n my grp.

E dream got very dreary although it was nerve wrecking n tiring. It got dreary coz e grp of us started out protecting each other, saving/hiding/helping one another. We wanted to survive tis together. But then reality sunk, when u r on e run for days. Ppl started to change.

We found out if we wanted to survive, we haf to make sacrifices. And tt means, u got to sacrifice ur frenz along e way in order to lose track of the creatures, one by one.

So it comes to a pt when u see some characters who were not so well-liked by e majority being sabotaged. And they ended up being eaten. Some who were more popular or PRETTY, were still being protected. Blind followers!

I was pretty much on my own then coz i was extremely disgusted at how e dream turned out. Ppl were trying to make me die too. But WTF, tt was my dream, i dun wan to die inside ok? Definately not by e likes of those selfish stupids assholes.

I most certainly decided not to help those idiots when they were being eaten, i meant those evil ones, not those tt were sabotaged.

How to not feel dreary lidat? Wat a evil dream, seeing ppl turn against one another, seeing innocent ppl being eaten alive. And having no solutions to the prob, except to keep on running n move on ahead. I cant even turn/stop or look back. No time to cry, no time to feel guilty. Just anger, pure anger.

Anger at those ard me who r still sticking wif me to watch me die. DAMN!!!

I dreamt of dinos coz of a earlier trip in the mrt tt day. E guy sitting next next to me was watching King Kong on his video gadget. Just a few scenes to spark off my dream, tts crazy. I was peeping jus tt it was rather awkard coz theres another person between us. Took me awhile be4 i gave up. Lol.

It jus got to e exciting part, e part where Naomi was being chased by e t-rexes and then king kong rescuing her n all tt. It was still interesting for a small screened mute movie. I bet e owner's enjoyin it. I wouldnt mind watching LOTR.

Speaking of LOTR, Did u watch e NDP jus now?I duno how many of u noticed this but there is tis video thingy which recapped our history since independence which was shown be4 e actual show.

Wats so special u ask?

Well, if u listened carefully, they actually used e MUSIC SOUNDTRACK of LOTR!!!!!!!!!! If im not wrong it shd be from fellowship. I was so shocked i shouted to my mum about it and she laughed. Although she said she dun think im e only one who knew.

Somehow i do feel tt i might be one of e few. Coz who e hell notices tis kind of things? My mum went on to say tt maybe LKY is a fan of LOTR. Tts crap n nonsense. I confirm he dun like. Anyways, its not his decision anyways, its e editor. I haf no idea wat e editor was thinking. Perhaps he love LOTR? No idea. But tts was so strange.

I noe LOTR music scores r gd n inspiring. And the magnitude carries n lifts ur spirits which was somewat appropriate to e video coz its supposed to make u feel uplifted, proud and patriotic. But most certainly strange to be used on a national video, no? Although they did use a more modern version of it (re-recorded in mediacorp studio? but an EXTREMELY BAD VERSION though), but it was still weird. But maybe tts coz i noe e source so it was strange. Instead of seeing Frodo/Gollum, u see e young Lee Kuan Yew when he was our PM.

I wondered if they paid e copyrights, but i doubt so though. If they claimed its not from LOTR, they can go kiss my ass. I am LOTR freak ok, and every single piece of music score fr e trilogy was written originally by Howard Shore.

I noe them when i hear it. U cannot bluff me one, coz i even remember e lines ok! Since i haf already watched LOTR more than 50 times. *Er hem*

Anyways, i continue tmr. Wan to go watch Bleach now. I haf officially stopped watchin Naruto, took me so long to finally let it go. They r both crap after they strayed off from their manga to do their never-ending side story. But then when i start on something, i hardly give up, even if they r crappy. I did finished Tsubasa Chronicles to e latest then, so wats Bleach and Naruto.

Okok, enuff crap.

(oooooooooo....... jus read fr other blogs, me not e only one who complained about e LOTR music! muahahahah... no idea y i am so happy)

Choco Milk

2006-08-09T02:05:00.000+08:00

I thot i would try out e choco milk thingy since it jus so happened my mum bought a can of cocoa powder thinking its so healthy coz theres no milk or sugar. Until i tell her its fattening coz it contains butter something which is 9% fat. Lol.

Anyways, i thot i would make myself a nice warm cup of choco milk, while reading blogs n enjoying photos of others be4 i attempt to sleep. I am drooling at e thot of tt. Ive not drank choco milk for e longest time.

But then i couldnt find e can of cocoa! Damn it!!!

And then double DAMN DAMN, i saw a huge ass cockroach on the cabinet.

Sigh, there goes e mood for my warm cocoa. I think i shd go count sheeps.

Ichiban Boshi

2006-08-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

My sis very lucky lor. She switched to a different job department in her company. Got a raise in pay and now shes working 5 day week. She got degree mah, cant complain.

Btw, yest very disgusting. My blk downstairs got one water pipe burst or leak i duno. So got alot of foaming water flooding. Then while i thot e water was harmless and had to walk thru it, i saw maggots!!! -_-" A massive swarm of live maggots swimming/crawling outwards. Its not everyday thing tt i see maggots, i did consider staying back longer to observe them but i was running off for an interview.

They were interesting though disgusting and im imagining them burrowing through my flesh/corpse when i die, but of coz, tt wouldnt happen since i wouldnt be buried. The way they crawl is somewat captivating if not for their disgusting linkage wif anything rotten n smelly. I cant imagine how those ppl at fear factor could swallow these things.

Ok, enuff about maggoty stuffs.

Lets tok about food. Lol. Sorry for ruining ur appetite.

I finally went Ichiban Boshi to eat, it was early dinner late lunch for us as usual. Heard so much raving about it. So finally went wif SZ on last sat to try it out. We were going to catch a movie at MS. So we headed to e Esplanade branch. SZ heard tt e customer service is very bad here. But it turned out normal, so u guys can head out there. I did find e seat they chose for us rather weird n awkard however.

It was very nice view though only one person can see it, stupid. But i didnt bring my cam tt day so i had to use my hp. I only brought a very small makeup pouch to put everything. I wanted to be burden free tt sat, which didnt really work coz i bought a new aviator shade ($19, original $40+) from Miss Selfridge (sigh, i found out one crystal missing today though. Duno its lidat be4 hand or dropped. Had to manually remove another one at other end to balance e look) and SZ bought me a turquoise cardigan ($19, original $40+ too, lol) fr G2000, love it! My bday gift.

G2000 was havin a crazy sale. Finally u see guys going crazy over clothes. The Q was so damn long. It was reaching e entrance.

Ichiban Boshi literally means the First Star. Its a place to enjoy good quality food with modernize presentation in cool ambience, and at affordable price. Menu covers from real authentic Japanese items to the popular items such as sushi on conveyor belt.

I ordered Tenzaru Chasoba (which includes mixed vege n ebi tempura, $13.80 i think) and potato croquette ($1.90).

I tell u ar, its very nice. The chasoba is very springy. Not e very machine kind or supermarket one like Sakae. I like it. I wan to try e famous soba restaurant at Paragon though, heard its e best.

And e potato croquette is simply AMAZING. I am missing it already. I wan to eat e food again. Craving liao. SZ had some sushi plates (same price as Sakae), e lobster thingy in e middle she said its very nice.

I was more interested in her tofu though. Cant show u how appetizing it looks unfortunately. I'll bring my cam again e next time i go eat.

Gosh, i am missing their food already. Theres still so many things i wan to try. But i only haf one stomach.

Their prices are generally similar to Sakae. But their drinks are $2.20 instead of Sakae's $1.50, canned drinks i meant.

But then after eating there, its like Sakae? Wat Sakae? I suddenly haf no reason to go back Sakae. Maybe for their one n only vitamin E enriched sushi rice? Lol. Like i care.

But Salmon is most impt to me for jap food, haf not tried Ichiban Boshi's salmon yet though.

We then went shopping... Luckily i purposefully wore track shoes, we walked sooooooo much... We always walk alooottt when we go City Hall. We caught e Tokyo Drift movie as well. Sigh, i will tok about it another time. But then if u wan to watch go watch lor...

It was nearing midnight. So we headed for supper, actually dinner to be precise. Went to Esplanade's Makansutra Gluttons Bay. Ive not eaten there yet too.

I drank coconut. So happy. So long never drink it liao... 2nd last one. But i need ice next time.

We had e osyter egg. Not nice one. They put e oyster at the side lidat somemore. But oyster quite big though.

See e stalls, tts how glaring it was. I was going blind coz i was facing them. SZ was facing e sea.

Chicken wings... I actually dun like bbq wings, or rather i dun like tis kind. Too dry. I like spicy or honey glazed wings/drumlets.

We also had fried kuay tiao. But i didnt take pic, think i was too hungry. It was very oily. We wanted to hokkien prawn mee, but then sold out jus be4 us... Urgh.

Overall, i dun really like e food there. Too substandard. But then if u r in town and had a craving for hawker food n seafood and Newton is too far, then its a gd place to satisfy ur taste buds. At least i heard e tourists said e food is nice.

Plus, u can enjoy e sea breeze n e view. It was also cooler than Newton. Newton is a giant microwave. I wouldnt mind going there to eat again though coz i like tt place (as in e surrounding, not e hawker), and esplanade is my fav hangout.

Ah, im hungry.

We then strolled for awhile, headed to e creepy Merlion. Stood there for abit then sat for abit, constantly avoiding e blind bats... E whole area from esplanade to e Merlion are infested wif bats. They kept circling round n round and they fly so low, luckily their sonic waves were working, if not im sure they would hit my head e whole night.

Nearing 3 am, we left to take e night rider. Only to haf waited for more than 1 1/2 hrs for tt stupid NR1. We were both so frustrated, tired. An hr more, we could haf boarded e mrt. Stupid drivers.

If tts not all, e driver even went e wrong route and did a U turn. He said to someone on his hp while driving tt there wasnt anyone who wans to drive e bus so he took e last bus. So irresponsible. Somemore, he kept telling e ppl not to complain. He told them theres only 3 bus tt night, bluff one lor. Its not tt theres only 3 bus, how can tt be? U think e bus company so stupid? He already said no one wans to take e bus but he lied n said theres only 3 buses allocated tt night.

FUCKING irresponsible. I hope someone complained though. How can they be lidat. So bek cek. And seeing n hearing e angry passengers complaining, and yet gives up so easily and kept quiet in e end, jus pisses me off even more. But tts jus us, typical singaporeans. Wan to complain but keep quiet in the end, loud mouth no guts.

But i cant complain too, coz i am sitting n waiting for others to complain as well, another kind of typical singaporeans. And complaining when others decided not to pursue. Cannot lidat, I need to be more gutsy since ppl ard me r not.

I reached home ard 535 am and SZ ard 6am. It was so stupid, a disappointing night. I had quite a bad time i felt. I wished i had stayed at home to watch e finals of Superband. I hope i dun miss e 2nd telecast.

My son cried e whole night when i was out. Tis is e 1st time. So i had to officially go home earlier from now on. Early as in before 2+am. Well, tts if i dun really enjoy e company though.

Exhausted

2006-08-07T18:48:00.000+08:00

I am so beat.

So tired.

I haf no time or rather no energy to blog.

I haf been sleeping only 3 hrs plus per night for the past 1 week or so. My insomia prob is getting worst. I wonder how i survived my poly days sleeping only 1 hr per night. No wonder i can fall asleep easily when catching movies wif my bf even though its my fav past time.

But i am 17 no more. I haf succumbed to the aging process.

True enuff, i can still survive sleeping only 5-6 hrs per night for a long period of time now. But 3-4 hrs is over e board for my poor miserable aging body. & spending 6 hrs lying on ur bed trying to sleep but cant is not a funny thing.

I am exhausted, but my mind refused to sleep. So forcing tt, i haf headaches. So i haf been downing panadols again. Till i finished all my panadols, so now my house no more.

My head is throbbing now, but tts coz i travelled too much today. So much so tt i haf motion sickness on the mrt. Can u believe tt? Oh yea, it seems my motion sickness had gotten worst lately as well. Not even e plasters can work, but maybe coz i need to renew them.

I haf been very busy looking for jobs. Busy searching, busy choosing, busy editing, busy sending, busy waiting, busy scheduling and busy interviewing. Not tt i am complaining though. Jus tt i noe i cant travel multiple times a day coz of my motion sickness prob.

I went for a interview tis morning. I went to another recruitment agency jus now. I came back and almost collapsed. Was extremely giddy. My mum said I travel more always lidat, useless... Lol. So u shd be thkful if u got no motion sickness prob, no low blood glucose prob n no blood pressure prob.

My blood pressures been pretty low lately, duno y. So maybe tts y i feel giddy. Its been ard 104/64 on average. The lower one is very low, not gd.

Anyways, i haf no idea wat im typing.

I think i will go haf an eye shut. I am going to hack my makeup and waxed hair for now. Later then clean myself.

Will blog tmr. If no agencies call me though.

I dun even haf e strength to bath my son (supposedly on sun). So i am going to postpone till tmr.

Anyways, yea, stay healthy.

Embarrassed

2006-08-03T23:14:00.000+08:00

My gawd, i was so embarrassed. I used to laugh at those who tell me their real floor when i asked them which floor in e lift. Now i kena retribution!!!

I was walking fast and i saw tis good looking chap leaning at the lift lobby. One glance and i knew hes handsome, so i avoided looking at him... Lol. Then in e lift, he asked me which floor which caught me off guard. Coz he abit ah beng young tt kind, i didnt noe hes so well-mannered (ya i noe, cannot judge by looks)... And i actually said, "Eleven" in mandarin...

He was stunned for a moment and then he pressed 12th.

I was so embarrassed i wished i could disappear.

And the worst thing is, tts not even e floor i am staying!!!

I went to visit my Dad tis evening. And e lift buttons are e old kind, 1, 9, 11... So i guessed tts where e "11" came from... My Dad stay at the 11 storey. My lift is 1, 5, 9, 12... I stay at 12th.

Gah. But he wun noe mah, he would think i stayed at 11th. I am sure he would make a joke out of it like i did those many times... I am so useless, lost myself jus becoz hes gd looking... Mus haf composure next time!!! Urgh!!! So paiseh~ Arh!!!!

Karma karma~~~~

Another incident today but tis time in e lift at my Dad's place. U noe when u listen to loud music from ur player. And when u enter e lift, basically its becums stereo surround? U wun realise tt but others in e lift can hear ur music clearly.

So i was blasting Gackt's songs in my player. I got in e lift wif a uncle. I made a mistake of staying at the back of e lift. So tis uncle was standing sideways, staring/looking at me e whole time. I shd haf stood at the door so tt i would back face him but tts not wat i wan to say.

Then coz i reaching mah, so i took off my ear piece and offed my music. The moment i took off my ear piece, i realised tt Uncle is humming/whistling to my song!!!

Imagine tt! A uncle whistling/humming to Gackt's jap rock song!!! It was so funny, i almost laughed out loud literally.

It happened within seconds and then when he realised i offed my music, he tried to stop immediately. But it takes time to react so i still caught him humming to my music... Lol.

I tell u arh, tt moment was priceless...

Lady In The Dome

2006-08-03T14:32:00.000+08:00

Watched Lady In The Water last sat wif SZ.

Oh be4 tt, we went Din Tai Fung to eat. Yum, my fav Xiao Long Bao ! & Chicken Soup! & Fried Egg Rice! I think next time mus try their noodles. But silly me was so excited i forgot to take pics of e food.

Lady in the Water. Hmm, where shd i begin? I wouldnt say its a gd movie nor isit a bad one. It did got me teary in the end but i didnt cry. But then lets jus say its isnt worth your 9.50 bucks.

I saw alot of reviews tt totally trashed tis movie. However, i did also see many who loved it, but these ppl r those who loved The Village which i dun like at all unfortunately. Its not tt The Village wasnt a gd movie, it was gd, better than many, its got e right suspense, horror and twist but e reason i am against it was e meaning/message tt e director concluded in tt movie.

I dun agree wif their way of dealing wif their disgust wif money which ultimately brought evil or harm to human kind. I understand ppl like to say money bring evil tis n tt, without money, we would be leaving in peace etc etc. Something which has been used n implied over n over in many films. But then wat i disliked was e route/solution they came up to counter tt. I thot it was despicable coz it was a bunch of lies n deceits to e ignorant innocent. It should be a choice not a forced environment. Ah nvm, tts a whole other story.

Back to e Lady.

I did missed a whole chunk of the movie, coz Nezumi was smsing me about meeting up e next day. But i ultimately couldnt go in the end. Anyways, i think it is better to watch it without knowing e story. But then e animation they do in e beginning of e film also told u e story somewat.

I thot it would be more interesting to find out who or wat she is meanwhile through out e film than to already know everything from e beginning. It kills e suspense and is dead on film. Ive no idea y he did tis, coz in his other movies, he would only tell u who/wat they r in the middle or end of film.

I also like e idea to haf doubts whether shes really a sea nymph from e fairy tale or tt shes lying, maybe not so much as lyin but in real shes actually a human but haf her reasons for believing not so. Or it could be like e movie Kpax, where it becums ambigious. Tt would add more depths to e film. But like i said e prologue already told u shes real (not human i meant). After all, trusts n beliefs are things not easily earned by 1st encounters wif a stranger. I feel tt its quite strange for e main lead to believe wats she says out straight. It is perfectly normal for anyone to haf doubts but u can tell he went on to find out more coz he believed in her and tt he wans to help.

But maybe we r not toking normal here.

Coz in tis movie, everyone is not tt normal in tis mansion. No, i shdnt say they r not normal, they would be jus rude. I shd jus put it as they r troubled ppl, either they haf problems cooped up in their brains, or they r inferior, or they lost hope n will to live or simply weird like only training n building e muscles of only half ur body and enjoying it.

So maybe it is gratifying to wanting to believe in something supernatural coz u feel ur life has been so fucked up anyways. Maybe. But i doubt so.

I read tt his movie, "Invicible" (spelt tis way) was very bad as well, but i googled it and no results turned out for tis. Maybe it jus wasnt shown. Or are they toking about Unbreakable? But Unbreakable was a great movie tt took everyone by storm.

They say he is predictable. I agree wif tt, coz he stood by his style. His movies would mainly deal wif supernatural/creatures, (except The Village) etc. And then there would always be a ending twist to e person/creature identities. Also, it would also haf a moral message embedded in his films.

It was similar in tis except tt they told u e whole fairy tale in e prologue. So u noe who she is, but u find out more details about her world throughout e film which isnt very interesting though.

I guess its easier to relate to aliens than sea nymps. Somehow ppl can believe in aliens/orcs/monsters/mutants but trying to picture the fairy tale as reality is no easy feat. I found it hard to bring myself into e story. If its anime/animation then its fine, but in real live action, its tough.

The story is just not realistic. But i think his focus were supposed to be on e humans and how they each overcame themselves.

The director's cameo turned out to be not a cameo but a cast character. Hes e 2nd main character and it was rather surprising. I think hes working out on his acting career as well.

The sea nymphs tasks were to come out onto land to see e chosen human (they do not noe who though) and then upon seeing them, something will be awaken in e human's heart/mind which will somehow change e world one way or another though indirectly.

I was expecting more or something even more supernatural. But e nymphs jus need to see u and within seconds it would happen and then they completed their tasks and they can go back to their world. To me tts quite strange. But e character did found out more about himself coz she can see his future. It was delayed while they were trying to get her back.

Supposedly the main lead was in love wif e nymph, but i couldnt see tt. I can tell he was desperately trying to save/help her. But tt doesnt equals to love. I mean in an ideal world, u would help unconditionally, no? Besides they had a connection, she came to him, so of coz u would help her within ur means. Also, i read tt he doesnt really wan her to leave but i didnt see tt at all in e film.

So i think some parts e writer screwed up big time. He thot he was showing tt but i totally never see those tt he intended.

E green dog creature/monster (whose task was to eat/kill e nymphs on land, no idea y) did made my fren cringed to e edge of her seat though.

Amongst all his films, tis one is e lowest budget i thot. It was entirely set in tis mansion envirnoment n a pool n e lawn which leads to alittle of e forest entrance. But nothing else, there wasnt even any wide shots to show e whole environment.

The casts werent interesting or big in tis one too. To me, it looked like a budget film so i was kinda disappointed. I expected big things from him along wif his fame. But he somewat buried himself. Maybe its jus difficult to live up to expectations.

I can accept e same predictable style tt he adores. But it needs to be backed up wif a solid good script. While tis movie wasnt one of his best, im still ok wif it. I noe i said lots of not so gd things about it. But its different. A different movie as compared to e commercialised way of doing films.

His is very raw and down to earth. Its gd to see tis kid of films coming up every now n then. Though its rare. It was like movies in the past. Very simple and true, wif less effects n gimmicks. Tis movis is all about dialogues. They tok n tok n tok and in a very slow fashion. So u might find it extremely slow in the beginning, and i believed those who dun understand his films would simply doze off.

Strangely, tis movie was rather funny at parts. And i was kinda surprised hearing SZ laughing more than usual. Most of the times she doesnt react. Or her laughter jus falls short. Even when shes watching a comedy. So it must haf worked in some ways. So i guess as much as ppl would hate tis film, i believed there r also more ppl than expected who love it as well.

I love e end where e main lead told e Lady, "Thank you for saving my life". It was very moving. In actual, he was e one who saved her life, but in return she saved him as well (although she didnt do anything), she saved him emotionally. He could let go of his past, come to terms wif it and carry on living without e guilt n all.

But their scene was quite muffled, he said it in e rain so if u r not paying attention. You would haf thot its e nymph who said it. If its so, u would haf lost e impact of tt moment. But i doubt ppl are so stupid, or maybe they r?

SZ said she didnt feel much about e film whereas i did teared and many girls did cried. So i said she was detached. As wat her own horoscope always say. She is emotional and detached. It must be such a difficult mental world to live in. Lol.

We headed to Dome afterwards. Its been so long since i last went there.

I had Gourmet Pie (Beef). Its so gd or maybe coz i sua ku. But i did enjoy it. E beef tastes like mutton strangely. She ate Cheese Crackers. E sausages were so salty, dun ever eat tis dish. Its saltiness were beyond tolerance, and e stupid waitress can tell us, "Its lidat one." So rude. I was thinking WTF.

I hope i can haf frenz who stand up and speak up (for themselves and others), but i jus dun haf tis kind of social luck. So whenever i see or hear one, i would be so impressed wif them and e way they put themselves across. Both of my sis are lidat, but i am somehow different. Lol.

Dome's service is one of e best ard, ignore tt stupid waitress though. It used to be great and it still is, I still love tt place. Wanna go there to chill again. Gonna order coffee tis time.

I hope i can catch The fast & The furious: Tokyo Drift tis week. But gotta see SZ how. Tis sequel has no link to 2 1st two at all. Kinda disappointing. But it means anyone could go catch it.

All Broken

2006-08-01T15:49:00.000+08:00

I wan to say something about the fruits basket manga latest update.

THE 12 ZODIACS' CURSES ARE ALL NOW OFFICIALLY BROKEN!
(Damn it, so now Yuki can be wif his new gf!!! :~~~( SZ, lidat i think no way back liao... Somehow i still wish some where in the story tt Yuki can be wif Tohru... Lol. Though i noe its impossible coz e main lead is still Kyo. But I still think e "mother" thingy is a crappy excuse to separate Yuki from Tohru to remove e amibigous relationship they had in the 1st half of e manga.)

I duno about Kyo though, i doubt his is so easily broken coz he is not controlled by the main thing anyways. Im not interested in tt though. Never liked Kyo although hes like e main lead. Not even interested in his love thingy wif Tohru or his future anymore.

Sigh, i said be4 le, i seldom like main lead one. I sometimes like e villains more, depending on their stories.

Bleach = I like Renji instead of Ichigo. Though i like Byakuya most.
Naruto = I like Sasuke instead of Naruto. Though i like Gaara (hes not a villain, he became Naruto's best fren in e manga) most.
Inuyasha = I like Sesshomaru instead of Inuyasha. I like many of e villains.
Shaman King = I like Ren instead of Yoh. I also like e villain, Hao. Lol. Hes looks exactly like e main lead but i actually like e bad guy more.
Hunter X Hunter = I like Killua instead of Gon. Though i also like Kaito who became... :~~~( Sigh, living dead... Still waiting for e never completing manga...
Battle Royale = I like Mimura instead of Shuuya (u haf no reason to like him if u read e manga). Though i also like e villain, Kiriyama or something. Refering to manga.
Hikaru No Go = I like Akira instead of Hikaru. Though i like Sai most! He died! Again! :~~(
Advent Children or e FF 7 = I like Vincent more than Cloud. (Actually if u noe e game story, u wouldnt like Cloud except maybe his looks?) But strangely i like Sephiroth most.
Gravitation = I like Yuki instead of wats his name? Oh ya, Shuuichi.
Initial D = I like Ryosuke Takahashi instead of Takumi.
Full Metal Panic = I like Kurtz instead of Sousuke (wats there to like about him?). But i also like Tessa's Bro. So pretty!
Fruits Basket = I like Yuki instead of Kyo. Though i also like e crazy Ayame (he makes me laugh and hes so pretty) and Momiji.
Etc, etc. Aiyah u get e drift.

Back to e breaking of curse.

Somehow, i dun feel happy for them at all. I was moved to tears when i saw e moments after Momiji and Hiro's breaking of curse. But then now tt i saw everyones broken their curse, i actually feel kinda sad.

Maybe i empathised wif Akito too much. I totally understand her more than anything else. And e way she said Farewell to each one silently, so cold n lonely. But i do not like e way they put Akito n Tohru together. Just not really e way i like to see it. But then u r supposed to feel sad. It was a very sad and empty chapter. If u feel otherwise, i think u haf not read e manga properly or simply u do not really understand e story.

I think i tok about fruits basket another time when i can think better.

Cosplay Wedding

2006-07-29T00:27:00.000+08:00

I jus watched some clips on the 24th June Red White Songs Battle Hits (Anime) Singapore at NUS and the 9th July Cosfest V - The Reunion at Downtown East on Stomp's site. Quite a no. of things to see if u r bored. I thot it was rather cute seeing Jolin in her cutsy outfits although shes supposed to be sexy. Lol.

Quite interesting ne.

Some gals actually sounded quite gd i thot for e anime hits battle... Kinda cute.

For e Cosfest, its also rather interesting. E interviews and the cosplayers and costumers were quite a treat to look at, although e screen is small. And i saw e familiar faces which i saw from e pics off Wingede blog. Same event right?

They kept interviewing Sesshomaru (Inuyasha), i see liao buay tahan... Hes my fav character but then tt guy!!! -_-" His fur!!! -_-" His make up!!! -_-"

And then e one who did one of e Bleach's female vice captain shinigami, i forgot tt character's name. E one wif gi-normous boobs, almost spilling out every scene. Her boobs!!! Oh my gawd!!!

But for some reasons, i actually find guys cross dressing as female characters fine. Lol. I think its still the overall look.

One gal who cosplayed a character from Gundam Seed Destiny (i dun like tis anime, i even rejected when ppl wan to lend me e dvd, even Gackt sexy influence doesnt work tis time. Lol), she said she wans to hold a Cosplay Wedding in her future. And her gd fren was supporting her grds tis n tt.

At 1st thot, i thot its fresh and interesting... I think its gonna be quite cool, and it adds alot of colors n fun to e otherwise formal n boring weddings. At least, i doubt anyone would cry at the event. But maybe ur parents n older relatives would cry abit seeing all ur guests becum cosplayers? Lol. I am so evil.

But on second thot, ur whole wedding's gonna be a joke if ur guests actually did tt. For one, i doubt any hotels would put up wif such a rukus. For two, i doubt any wedding planners will take tt up coz of impracticality and e enormous problems tt would arise (unless u pay them huge of coz). For three, i doubt any guest will turn up.

If i attend ur wedding, i am already obliged to give u a 3 figure ang bao, and on top of tt, i even need to put in a few hundred bucks, and few mths of time to do e costumes jus to attend ur wedding. I wouldnt even do tt for "best frenz". No pun intended. Doing cosplay for cosplay events is different, coz simply its an EVENT in e 1st place.

Wats e pt if some turn up in normal clothes and some turn up in costumes? It would dampen e whole mood. Imagine i am e only one who cosplayed in a table wif ur other 9 normal guests. Maybe they would be annoyed wif my ribbons dropping on e food or my sword poking at the one next to me. Lol.

If u wan to do it, its better to make sure tt e majority do it instead. The main prob tt ppl worries over wedding dinner is e attendance. Unless u r a celebrity, chances r its not full attendance. Ive not even heard of anyone's wedding being full thus far. So i bet throwing tis worry aside, u still haf to convince all ur guests to cosplay.

Wait wait, i am not targetting e gal who came up wif tis idea. But i am targetting at tt concept.

U also better come up wif a proper agenda on e events tts going to happen. If not, u would jus see a Sailormoon eating shark fins, gobble gobble, clap clap, drink drink then BYE BYE, all rush home for e last train/bus. I cant even begin to imagine.

Granted, u can do a outdoor event like at Fort Canning hill, etc... Do a buffet instead of dinner. So tt at least theres more space for falling boxes, ribbons, wigs, swords. And e cosplayers can congregate and leave e normal guests as normal guests at e other side of e field.

Haha, youngsters will always be youngsters. Very opinionated, very idealistic (to their own perceptions, can means can attitude). Although she is e same age as me, lol *dig a hole n hide inside* But then having said all tt. I still think its quite cool. It will be a pretty gd "show" for e rest of e guests. Not only tt, its e 1st in sg, u can even call e press for interviews n shoots.

I myself did mentioned be4 tt it would be nice if my wedding is LOTR themed (ok, dun laugh). But i never expect my guests to do anything. I certainly dun expect anyone carrying fake swords, or elvish ears or coming to the hotel bare foot. Lol. But my door gift is e ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL RING lor. Cool eh? Haha.

But one thing i must grumble though. How come ALL the cosplayers (those interviewed) all spoke in broken/bad/beng-lian-ish singlish one? Very bad for public viewing u noe. Wait e government/parents or whoever say those who like anime/cosplays all cannot speak properly then ban it like e old PCK scripts how?

Imagine they say, "Ive been watching the broadcast of the cosplay events and i realised all of them couldnt speak proper english. Anime must be bad influence for e young generation, so we must ban them all! Stop your kids from watching animes." Blah blah...Then how? Dun lidat leh...

Ppl already say we bloggers dun write in proper english, shortform no GD, singlish no good, say we tok nonsense, irresponsible, tis n tt liao, if cannot watch anime liao how? Im not toking about *er hem* those down *cough* loaded ones. If legally cannot watch liao how?

hurhurhur?

Crabby Durian

2006-07-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

Last fri, i went to e famous amk seafood place to eat again wif my 2nd sis, her bf and mum.

After being there so many times, i seriously think its my fav from all ive eaten. Although ive not eaten e similar famous n cheap Balestier one, isit Balestier or Jalan Kayu? Jalan Kayu besides prata got sell famous seafood or not ar? But anyways, since tis one is so near my place, i haf no reason to go there. Besides, my fav dishes are one and only here anyways. Its addiction.

But i haf no idea wat bus to take if theres no car. Can walk also but i not sure e way too. Lol. Although it was only a less than 10 mins ride, my motion sickness did kicked in coz i didnt put e plaster. But i bet tts coz of my sis's bad driving skills. Coz later on, when her bf took e wheel i was ok. But it may be due to the multiple turnings ard e car park as well.

We brought my granny there some time back and she was saying like, "I eat tis crab liao i go back M'sia no need to eat already!" Lol, cant blame her, tt night, e crabs were especially fat and juciy and sweet and cheap obviously compared to atas resturants. They say eat crabs must choose dates within a mth to go. And also when e moon is out or something. Not sure though.

E auntie did tell us the crabs not so fat today, but i thot it was still good, it was still very fresh and juicy. I finally ate their signature Claypot Crab Noodle tis time. If i go there again, i bring my cam along. Its very nice. The soup is very creamy. We also ordered e creamy butter crabs as usual and e buns.

I love their toufu, must try! If u go there, must try their Claypot Crab, Creamy Butter Crab and the Crispy Toufu. Its enuff to fill u up till u puke. Ok, maybe not depending on how many u go wif. Amazing thing is u will be addicted to these 3 dishes, and they r not found anywhere else.

We had beer and a hearty meal. But i can tell e 3 of them not full yet. So we headed to eat e most amazing durian at one oolu oolu carpark. Beer ok to eat durian lah, dun eat when u drink hard liquor though. I think i drank e most tt night, duno y. Lol.

My sis had been raving about it ever since shes eaten it. She said e durian is e best, much better than any D24, XO or watever u've eaten at Geylang. She said its so creamy it tasted like ice cream. And e seed is extremely small. So u haf like big scoops of them.

But of coz, it comes wif a price lah. One durian about 30 bucks. Can eat one crab le.

The stall is located at the strangest place. Its within a car park. Very dark and oolu along wat, Damsy Road, Demsy Road? Duno wats e spelling. U see many rich ppl and sports cars driving in for their durians and also their Shan Zhu(2) (fruit), wats shan zhu in el?

I was very curious about their Shan Zhu coz by the time we left, they were almost empty. So e bf bought one bag for us. Very nice though ex. 5 bucks per bag, inside about 10. But very sweet and juicy and fat. Nice! The uncle said got one lady has been patronising him for the past 10 yrs, but only buy his shan zu, she never buy his durian, duno y... Lol.

His business has been going on i think for about 20 yrs. And looking at the location n stall, i bet hes earning lots of money. But we went too late. His durians had almost ran out. We were e last customers sitting down. He rejected e rest.

We asked him wat kind of durian hes selling, but he refused to tell us. He only kept saying, "Good durian!"... Lol, maybe he planted himself using his own secret methods. Lol.

Unfortunately, e durians werent great. It was good but nothing special like wat they say. So we gave e durians back and he kept opening and finding gd ones for us. My sis was disappointed tt i didnt get to taste e kind she was toking about. Maybe go earlier next time.

The uncle said we didnt even eat 1 KG, and e bf said, "Ur durian lidat how to eat 1 KG?"... Lol, so he gave us discounts and apologised. All e best ones must be sold le... So sad... But i did eat one seed tts especially good but one how to judge.

So maybe next time i guess. But i was full like mad. Hearty meal. I think its me lah, every time i go out wif ppl for food sure something goes wrong one.

I can go wif SZ next time and order e Claypot one, got noodle in e soup, i think she will like. Its soupy, healthier and instead of rice she can haf noodles. Coz her family always eat rice when they eat seafood or something, which was so strange compared to mine. We never eat rice when we eat chinese food outside. Lol.

But i wan to intro her e Creamy Butter and toufu, so maybe another time. I doubt we 2 girls can finish.

Best Friends

2006-07-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

I duno y but Wingede's entry just pierced my heart.

http://wingede.blogspot.com/2006/07/musing-on-best-friends.html

Actually i noe y, obviously. I will be lying thru my teeth if i said i duno y.
But wat can i say... I cant say much anymore. Actually i dun wan to.

Pirates

2006-07-27T18:14:00.000+08:00

Pirates is gd. Although not a movie tt everyone will like. Ppl wif a too serious attitude and those who dun laugh at movies, wouldnt find it enjoyable.

While Pirates is a adventure movie, its mainly a comedy, a comedy adventure basically.

I knew tt there's going to be 3 Pirate movies (trilogy, bah!)... But wat i didnt expect was the continuation from e second to e third. Tis movie ended wif no ending, thus expecting u to wait for e next. Tis is so bek cek u noe, much like watching Stephen Chow's Qi Tian Da Sheng (Monkey God), which left ppl cursing and throwing things at e screen. Ok i am exaggerating.

At least for LOTR, e directors and writers knew they had to end each one wif a resolution, tis is thinking ahead from an audience pt of view. And doing tis doesnt neccessarily turn ppl off fr e 3rd. Doesnt mean u leave ppl hanging, ppl will surely watch ur sequel again after wat, 1 yr?

I cant deny i like e movie coz of my fav male actor, no not Orlando Bloom (i only like legolas, i dun like e real Orlando Bloom, lol), its Johnny Depp. Without him, i tell u e whole movie cannot watch one. He is e spirit of e film, e main character obviously, but its his acting. Simply amazing. He transforms into his character seamlessly.

Some ppl always tell me they love Johnny Depp as well, but these ppl never watch his films. Even when they somehow watched his films, they didnt noe its him until i tell them. Duh.

Johnny Depp to me is e most charismatic actor. I like him ever since e melancholic character in Edward's Scissors hand.

Anyways, hes damn funny in the movie as usual. Very very funny, hes still in his forever drunken mode for Jack Sparrow, which i like alot. Keira Knightley is still as lovely as usual.

For tis one, i thot e CG is even better than e 1st. While e 1st was already very gd for e zombie effects, tis one is even better. I thot e make up is amazing as well. Totally on par, if not better than LOTR. But LOTR was too huge scale so maybe i shdnt compare them. Lol. However, e water effects are still too fake, i think for CG its still yrs more to go till they make a break thru in water effects.

However, i did find e movie too long. 2 and a half is way too long for e plot. It simply wasnt tight enuff especially for e 1st hr. For e 1st half of the film, u wouldnt really noe wat they r saying, e relations, e adventure.

You wouldnt really understand them until e whole thing explains itself later. Theres too much politics, internal affairs which while were in relation to e characters but not drivin e story. Knowledge of e 1st Pirate movie is not neccessary, but i guarantee u would be quite lost at least for e 1st half. And without subtitles, their English accent proved to be quite tough for many.

I had an enjoyable time looking at familiar faces and their effects tis time. Some things did blew me away. I am still going to catch e 3rd. Its still gd movie, and its worth ur 9.50 bucks. But like e 1st, it is a forgettable film. In fact, its quite a blur to me already.

Ppl after e movie said they shd re-watch e 1st, but seriously its not entirely neccessary unless u cant haf enuff of the characters. =)

FYI jus to fill up e hole, e last character tt appeared is e original Captain of e Black Pearl (ghost ship) which Jack Sparrow stole from e prev movie. Tts pretty much all u need to noe.

Dog Habits

2006-07-27T10:41:00.000+08:00

When my son was still a pup, he went thru e general phase of eating his own poop. Ok, now i hear u say WAHHHHHHHHHTTTTTT, and EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW~ Anyways, when i told my frenz then, they all went like puking (not literally). I dun blame them coz they are not dog owners anyways.

Generally, ppl cringe at the sight of seeing animal pee n poo or dirty things anyways. Much less cleaning them. But tts not wat i wanted to say.

However, i am extremely pissed when dog owners complained, get angry or becum traumatised when they experienced their dogs doing the same thing. I can close one eye if its their 1st dog and they expect e dogs to be holy moly like in e movies (duh -__-) . But after e 1st, u still complain and tell e whole world how disgusting how traumatising how... watever.

The thing is puppies in general do tt. While it can be a sign of food malnutrition or poor developed digestive systems, it is a perfectly common phase tt puppies go thru. Puppies are like babies, they duno until u teach them. If u wan them to stop eating poop sooner, then u as a parent is responsible for it.

If its not e case of poor health which u shd bring ur puppies for checkups, you need to discipline ur pets. Warm food obviously becums more appealing than hard cold biscuits, no?

Dogs sniff their poo after doing it, they do tt to access their own health, though i haf no idea wats tt for since they cant do anything to themselves anyways. So u can imagine wat kind of report babies give to themselves. But when they eat poo, chances are either u dun feed them enuff, or they r not getting enuff nutrients. And also, coz their digestive systems are not fully developed, their food are not fully digested, so they will treat it as food and eat it again.

When u noe these hard cold facts, wats so disgusting? I was much more concerned y he was doing it so i could help him.

I myself played wif overturned poo when i was a infant (small kid?), or so i heard, and my mum wasnt even sure if i had eaten it. Lol. But tts my mum's fault coz she wasnt looking at me. She doesnt really take care of children and went to do her own things most of the time. So i always ended up in minor accidents. Even so, she didnt go ard saying, "My baby so disgusting, she eat her own shit, dun get near her!"...

Ok, back to e puppies.

Wat annoys me is tt when u tell ppl such things and u dun explain properly. Ppl becum repulsed by the idea. Some even said "tts y i converted from being a dog lover to a cat lover coz u dun wan to see ur pet doing ugly things". WTF???????

Come on lah, while a kitten may not eat poo (i duno, never kept kittens be4), i am sure as kittens they do alot of funny dirty things as well.

My pup though 6 mths old when i brought him back was facing alot of toilet prob. Becoz he was in a small cage for 6 bloody mths, his idea of sleeping area and toilet fused together. So besides eating poop, he also roll about in them. But all was solved after sending him for toilet training, some discipline, and his own mental n physical growth.

On a side note, u noe my pup couldnt walk properly coz his limbs were poorly developed in a small cage. I was extremely disgusted wif e way tt pet farm treated pets. But anyways, tt didnt matter anymore, i noe he is happy now.

I also concluded my son's poor mental growth. I think he is retarded. But no matter, i am still going to look after him till e last of his days which i hoped is at least 10 yrs later.

The thing is, when u decide to keep a pet. U accept their dirty side as well. Same as babies, they also poo n pee, u also still haf to clean them up, unless u r rich n pampered u can tell ur maid to do tt. But if not, u also got to do it one mah.

I lost my train of thots somewat, and i dun really noe wat i wan to say coz i am very tired. Damn!

E difference is tt, eventually babies all grow up and clean themselves. But accept reality in tt, dogs/cats while they could be toilet trained, they can never clean wipe their own back side and throw their poo away.

So e next time when u decide to becum a pet owner. Besides all e sweet little moments u wish to get out of them. Ask urself whether u can handle e dirty side which is perfectly normal but will surely last for e rest of their lifetime. U need more time when they r in baby phase.

Its a much tougher job to look after Kittens, u've got to feed them once every hr and if they r too small, u even got to help them pee (i found tis out fr Battle Royale Manga, lol).

Baby animals will puke some times coz of poor digestive system. They may be stricken wif diseases if u do not give them proper hygiene. They can be allergic to e detergent u use for mopping and develop rash and lose all their fur. They poo n pee all over coz they haf no bloody idea wats a "toilet". Due to poor control, they will sometimes pee, poo or puke on u.

They will be pretty much senseless like kids knowing nothing, so tis is the toughest phase and u need to discipline them to do wats right.

But after they grow up, it will be fine. If u r so scared of dirty things or complain work too bz, no time, etc but still wan to keep a pet for watever reason then get a grown up pet, but u may still need to toilet train them anyways. U also need to discipline them anyways, so to me theres no diff. But its so much harder to discipline a grown up pet.

Just remember, cuteness, sweetness, companionship, comes wif poo, pee, puke, diseases, illnesses as well. Its all part of e package.

I also complain sometimes his poo very smelly, but i dun blame him nor scold him, nor do i traumatise ppl. My tolerance level for smelly n dirty things is not as high as some ppl, but i accepted him for everything e day i decided to take care of him. Theres always counter measures to overcome these problems if u r willing to put in e effort. Research research research! Dun sit there n expect things to solve themselves or others to feed u wif information.

When u r clear wif tt, even if u wake up n e 1st thing u see beside ur face is poo. U calmly jus clean it up and its back to a normal start of a day.

Lol. U let him sleep wif u mah, sometimes "accidents" happen one lah. E things they do come back to ur own responsibility one lah, how u take care of him, shows wat kind of pet they will grow to be.

Though i certainly did not impart my lazy genes to him. He must haf learnt it from TV. Lol.

Coming Up

2006-07-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

I forgot to write about Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest which i saw 2 weeks back. Will do tt tmr. I suddenly wan to watch LOTR again... As in e making offs... Hmm, maybe i'll do it later since i noe i wun be able to sleep tonight.

I slept 12 hrs last night can u believe it... I was soooo tired, was knocked out early on my bed. To suffer from tt unintentional indulgence, i would be sleepless tonight, oh crap.

Although theres not many gd movies tis yr, but i haf 2 movies coming up. Lady in the Water and The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

I mentioned i never miss writer cum director M Night Shyamalan's works. Hes e only writer cum director tt stood out to me. And his cameo in every movie never fails to make me chuckle, but sad thing is, nobody noes him. I am usually e only one who noes when he appears. Lol. I think ppl shd give more credit to writers n directors, not to say he does both of them.

Peter Jackson cameoed in all his LOTR trilogy, but again, im sure nobody notices.

Hope tis one doesnt freak me out. E synopsis is different fr wat i gathered fr e trailer though, so maybe it wun be tt scary after all. Please dun let tis one be a disappointment. I love ur prev works other than The Village.

Fast and Furious 3rd installment, wats up wif trilogies these days? Anyways, i love car movies... And unlike others who "claimed" they love car movies, i watch them, those showin on cinemas i meant.

The 1st one was great, 2nd one was disappointing but it never failed to satisfy guys due to u noe who and not to say "sexy" scenes. Cars, babes, sex (though never show la), wat else do guys need? -_-" I was pretty much angry at the 2nd one, Too Fast Too Furious, for its lack of plot and boring races. Old Hong Kong car racing movies were alot better ok! But i heard e 3rd installment received a raving response. Since it was already shown in M'sia and many car freak lovers all caught it.

And i hope tis one's gonna be great since its based in Tokyo, my fav city. I heard tis one is awesome, i hope i wun be disappointed. Its been quite some time since i last caught a satisfying car racing movie.

Newton Circus

2006-07-25T20:12:00.000+08:00

Went Orchard wif SZ last sat, i haf been meeting her once a week ever since she started working. Lol. Duno she got tired of me or not... Muahaha. 1 week will be quite long for me staying home, but for her while working, it passes like lightning.

Every sat till 2.30 pm she would haf tuition at yck. So afterwards if shes got no other plans, we would meet up. We had lunch 1st at amk at our usual hangout, e bubble tea hut. Orchard very crowded, i dun really like to eat there.

Wanted to eat my fav Curry Chicken Rice but then only left one, so she ate tt and i ate Curry Scissors Chicken Rice, which is basically chicken cutlet, and jus a miserable dash of curry over rice. Oh, and a sunny side up. I took most of her curry though, coz she doesnt finish it unlike me. Lol...

We walked ard, and Forever 21 (my fav clothes brand, my style, lots of lace n diamante, although i only haf 2 tops of theirs, ex mah) is having a sale. I walked in and i fell in love immediately wif so many of their clothes, though not on sale. But then i cannot buy, so sad... The fitting Q is so damn long as usual, even if i can buy i also dun haf e patience to wait so long.

And then i headed to Isetan, saw many sunglasses i love. I like most of the collection, but theres 2 i especially love. Both of e same design, but different color, one is yellow, one is turquoise or very light blue...

I like both coz different looks, cant decide btw them. One costs 60 bucks each. Sigh, cannot buy, so sad... SZ said if she strike a fortune she would get for me... Sigh... I wanted a green sun glass for e longest time, but unfortunately, i still haven seen any nice green sunglasses. I did see at either Mini Toons or More Than Words, but haf not tried it coz they like dun haf mirrors.

I think i am gonna make a collection on sunglasses in e future, i wan aviator shades as well. I wan a white pair, yellow pair, green pair, blue pair, purple pair, red pair (haf liao but got crack), brown pair and silver pair. All i wan got crystals one. Or diamante at least. Nah, crystals better.

We sat at Cineleisure for like 2 hrs chatting. Then we couldnt decide on wat to haf for dinner. SZ said she wans to eat cockles, at 1st she said we go chomp chomp. But i scared chomp chomp closes quite early coz it was rather late then and chomp chomp is rather inaccessible.

So i suggested Newton Circus instead, since both of us haven been to e newly renonvated one. Although e place is smoky and hot as hell. E food is heavenly~ Lol. Its been so long since i last ate my fav BBQ Sambal Sting Ray.

I forgot to take pics of e very full n crowded place coz i was too hot... Nvm next time. E auntie chopped seats for me, though we missed a gd airy spot outside, coz we didnt hear e auntie shouting.

I immediately ordered coke wif salt to calm myself down. Lol. And then had to order sugar cane again to reduce e food's heatiness.

We order cockles (her fav, used to be my fav also, now my 3rd fav), sting ray (my fav), oyster egg (my fav), and Gong Gong (both 1st time)...

I dun really like e oyster egg but its enuff to suppress my craving... Its very oily, not enuff tapioca flour, but its crispy enuff and e osyters are big, fat n juicy. Ok lah, medium size.

The Sting Ray is nice~ Juicy but she complained too much chilli, abit er xin, but i complained NOT ENUFF!!! Lol.

The cockles came 1st, and when she ate it she said shes in heaven... Muahaha... Its very nice, very fresh, i like. Not many spoilt ones, she only ate one spoilt, i threw away some spoilt ones, i can tell mah, expert! Lol.

The Gong Gong was very nice. I like! Actually i like all shell seafood. She asked me whether eat liao will becum more "Gong" or not then i laughed and said then eat more "Chong" (spring onions) lor, from e oyster egg.

I also like La La coz of e sauce. But didnt order coz scared cannot finish. I like sambal squid also, but not every stall cook nice one. Some very hard i dun like.

The place seemed bigger. And last time e toilet is the kind u put 10 cents then turn e bar and go in. No more of tt, jus put 10 cents into e small metal box near e entrance. There would be a auntie standin there telling u 10 cent, 10 cent. Anyways, even if u dun put nobody will find out.

I did even though i only wan to wash my hand coz SZ wans to use e toilet. Nvm lah, 20 cents only. She works so hard standing there also.

We were so full and smelly later on. I couldnt stand e way i smelt though... Then we headed to Yishun's Mac, stayed there for hrs and then i took e night rider back. SZ, u quickly go take ur driving liscense leh...

I wore e necklace SZ bought it weeks back. I mentioned it be4 but didnt take pic.

I cropped it so tt u wouldnt be staring at my boobs. Lol. Very cute i like. Saw it at a push cart at Suntec. 5 Bucks, SZ bought for me. So sweet.

I saw one handsome dude beside my table, he caught my attention immediately. But as i took many glances, chey, i noe him one, hes my pri sch fren. But of coz he wouldnt recognise me. He was already e most handsome kid in my class then, i jus didnt expect him to look even more sharper now... Lol.

He got skin problems then though but luckily not on his face, and i am glad hes ok now. Though i still see some scars on his limbs... But can tell he got rid of tt prob. Hes most probably flirting wif e gal beside him, lol. E grp of 3 looks like classmates.

Hes e ah beng kind since young, during pri sch, u can tell those in the beng/lian makings, he was one of them. I saw him once during sec, he was still very gd looking, e pai kia man man look... Lol. Hes got many tattoos all over now.

3 of them dun really tok, they were drawing constantly in a notebook and on each other's hands. Lol.

Fate is such a strange thing. We r so near but yet so far away from each other. =)

Anyways, i miss e food already.

Cheesy Creamy Mushroom

2006-07-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

I cooked my creamy cheese prata last week. I perfected my receipe though i changed something tts not according to plan. And now it tastes great, although it wasnt as cheesy as my prev, coz i cheapskate, i wanted to save e cheese for other use.

But i noe e taste would be excellent if i jus let e cheese go... Lol.

Instead of doing e creamy cheese, i did creamy cheese mushroom sauce. I like!

I grilled e chicken one lor... E color is so beautiful.

Tis one is e next next day. I used up e remaining ingredients but used chicken breasts instead. Equally nice! I like. And healthy too!

Yum!

It looks alot but only abit in real life...

I used white shrooms, i love white shrooms...

I saw one creamy mushroom rice thingy... When im in a gd mood, i will try cook tt one... But then cooking on a pan from raw rice to cooked rice is a big chore. And will use up alot of time n gas. So see how lah, but im curious how it turns out though...

My sis just came home (3+pm) coz shes got nothing to do, gd hor? Leave house near 10 am, then come back so early and earn so much somemore... Where to find? Hurhurhur?

Anyways, my pics are preloaded so my post entry timings r not actual, i haf another entry for tmr. If i dun load e pics 1st, i noe i will take ages to blog these entries... Lol.

I am hungry, going to buy groceries later. Making sandwich and salad tonight! Cant wait.

Blood Donation #2

2006-07-23T20:07:00.000+08:00

1 week back, i asked SZ along to go for blood donation. She failed e 1st, but i was very confident she would be successful tis time.

But after tis time, i swear i wun allow her near any donation drive ever.

We headed to one of the CCs at Yishun, and waited for a long time although i got make appt, too many ppl, cant help. I especially love e small pens they give, and thus i took 3, muahahah, 1 given fr SZ, coz she doesnt wan it.

Theres lots of stations to go to in case u've haven been to one, much like NAFA test. Lol. So anyways, e second station is e computer station where ~~aunties~~ ladies register ur particulars to their lap tops, SLOWLY~

Theres 3 ladies at the counter, e middle one jus came back fr a break. I went 1st to e left one, and while i was waiting PATIENTLY, i noticed e middle indian lady looking at me, fr e corner of my eyes. At 1st i jus wanted to ignore. Then again, i thot, watever, so i looked at her and smiled, and she said, "U r so pretty!"... Muahahaha...

I didnt noe how to react, i simply jus smiled AGAIN. She caught me off guard.

Shes a very pretty indian lady as well. And so i started to chit chat wif her. She peeped my particulars from the labby, and exclaimed, "U r a chinese? I thot u r malay!"... -_-" "Yea, everyone says so, i get tt all the time, hahaha!"

Then we roped in e chinese lady serving me into our conversation, i small talk wif them, make them laugh, jus so i can make them feel happier coz i can tell they r very tired from e long day's work.

Meanwhile, e 3rd lady was serving SZ, and it was dead silence there. We laughed so much i thot we made a rukus, but SZ didnt even noe it. But maybe tts only her. Lol.

One pt e chinese lady said, "She only say u pretty, she even said i ugly."... We laughed much more. So funny e 2 ladies.

Anyways, there was something wrong wif SZ's particulars. But it was fixed manually by doc later.

Next to the Doc's chamber, hes very frendly. The 1st one i saw mths back was frendly too, but hes kinda rushed and shoots like rocket, i couldnt even understand him. Then to e blood test station, e pain pain needle, eeks! My blood is thicker tis time, think coz i never drink enuff water. I forgot mus drink 1 litre becum going.

I like to see tt beaker, u see everyone's blood like donuts congregating at the bottom of the beaker. A few's floating, those mus be got prob one. Then we waited n waited in Q for e 8 donation beds to be available.

While we were waiting, there were a few ladies who suffered during e donation, they went white and they had to stop and Doc/nurses got to help them. They suffered e giddiness. SZ asked me, "Nobody has died fr blood donation right?" To which i replied, "No lah.................. But, kena AIDS haf be4"... "SG is safe though".

I saw there were green bandages tis time, i was so happy. And then i saw purple. But then i always dun get e color i like. I got e worst color orange then. And tis time i got,

PINK! So angry. I dun like orange, yellow n pink, and they must give me pink. Its random one, duno y always give me e ugly colors i hate.

Anyways, tis time, it was strangely painless. E anesthatics (anyhow spell, lazy to check) injection was a breeze. And then e blood sucker needle was painless as well. I was so surprised. So i concluded e nurse for my 1st time did a terrible job. Either tt or 1st time is more painful. Duno.

I even thanked e nurse coz i was so impressed, to which she was so surprised. I think nobody thank nurses for poking needles into their veins. I mus be e 1st, but i can tell shes very happy tt i did. I wanted to explain y i thank her but i didnt. Cant blame me, my blood was being drawn. Theres other things my brain was concentrating on.

I donated more than usual. I saw lots of blood bags only 3/4 filled. I was looking at my bag, and its almost over filled. Not sure isit my blood type or they simply forgot. Anyways, when i was done, e male nurse hor, didnt even give me time to press my wound, i only pressed for a few seconds and he came to bandage me. So bek cek, e nurse also said "Y u come so fast?" and he said coz he wan to move me to e resting bed. Rushing again. -_-"

I was done in e evening, and when i reached home after midnight. I realised my wound didnt even stop bleeding. So angry, all tt impatient chap's fault.

My blood was soaking e bandage. Waste my blood!

Anyways, while i was lying on e waiting bed. I saw SZ far across me in trouble. She was donating but i could see she felt terrible. She asked for nurses' help, but e auntie ignored her. So angry. Finally, e nice nurse i thanked went to her, i think tt nurse scolded e auntie nurse after tt.

They stopped her donation and called for e doc. They laid her flat, up her legs. I got off e bed and went over to e pale her. I touched her head and then e nurse ask me to go sit down, and said my fren will be fine.

I was worried like mad ok? I took a drink and waited while looking at her. She got better, and came over after some time. But while she was sitting there, she felt giddy again. I called for help and e Doc n one volunteer guy moved her to e bed.

I accompanied her and after a long time, she was ok. It so so scary ok!!!!!!! But fortunately for her, we were all ard. When i was giddy then, i was alone. So ke lian ok. I felt so helpless. Although i did call SZ, but she didnt noe my condition coz she said my voice sounded fine.

I wanted to cancel our dinner n movie trip but she dun wan to. She lacks iron in her blood and she didnt drink enuff water. Tts y she ended up lidat. I thot i would faint, coz i didnt haf lunch and enuff water, but i certainly drank more then her though.

The donation was very smooth for me tis time, i dun feel weak nor is there any bruising. I could jump about after tt. No difference at all. Or maybe i became healthier lately?

Her bruising went up to a big big big blue black. Shes very prone to blue blacks... Her blood circulation got prob one like my sis. And they both haf very thin skin as well.

Shes fine now. Gotten over her weak state. I am never ever bringing her to donate again. So scary.

E squeeze ball tis time. Cute eh?

Last one coz lunar new yr they give orange, wonder next one is wat. Next in October. I think it would e same as tis time one.

Eat more liver and red meat if u wan to donate hor. And drink lots of water!!!

Dated

2006-07-22T01:40:00.000+08:00

See la, tmr i wan to go out then my menses jus came... See after my menses come then still pissed off or not... Y i so suay recently one... Just now whole day even more suay... If i can wake up early early tmr, i'll blog.

Duno isit i too long never take mrt or wat. Tt day i took e peak hr off work weekday mrt, then in the train hor, suddenly i see like almost 90% of those carrying gadgets all carrying those video gadgets watching videos. Younger ones watching anime, slighter older ones watching korean dramas, then older ones watching taiwanese dramas... So siao on wor, i dun even noe they r in e trend.

I am very siao on about gadgets also, but then i never thot those video gadgets so popular. E thing so big, screen so small, still mus hand carry while watching, so ma fan... Until i went on tt train, i realised im livin in a hole... Gd thing was, I also happily feasting myself to e drama e guy next to me watching. Subtitles quite big tts y i can feast... Got one guy watching anime, i wanted to watch but its Dragon Ball, i dun watch dragon ball anymore, got over it since pri sch.

Suddenly i look down and despise my mp3 player. Ppl watching videos i listening to songs... Lol. I feel so dated. I despise my old ugly black same length ear piece even more, i always feel ppl staring at me when i take out tt ear piece. But then can control vol one leh, only same length and black color mah. I wan to get a nice cool white/purple/green one wif vol controls, durable but cheap, cannot find one la. Gd ear phones very ex!

Think its time to upgrade my gadgets n accessories... But tts only after i found a job... Saw someone carrying e phone i wan. Tts my target next.

-___________-"

2006-07-21T18:13:00.000+08:00

I am so angry n disturbed by e multiple calls today since morning... I was so sick i jus carried on sleeping even though i am supposed to wake up...

I am so pissed tis few days tt i cant even be bothered to blog e 2 pending entries.

I haf no idea y am I obliged to take in accusations, insults n nonsense jus becoz of u got to give in to senile ppl. Jus becoz u got to give ur respect to them coz they r ur elders. Jus becoz they always think they r right becoz they noe more...

I cleared up e accusation, and then 15 mins later, the call goes over n over jus becoz ppl r forgetful. Jus becoz ppl already think they r so god damn right tt watever u tell them goes thru their ears even though wat u r saying is e truth.

E worst is, u can only do 3 things, 1 is to clear up and make ur stand but it wun be registered, 2 is to take in e accusation n admit e things u've never done and then bear wif e scoldings each n every time u hear or see them, or 3 totally give up and stop any contacts but tt is too hard for me.

I am just so tired. So tired to even talk. Sigh. Hope i'll feel better after going out tmr.

Edited: Alamak, while i was cooking, my sis called n said go eat crabs. My porridge duno how liao, i even put more herbs (for lowering blood pressure) in coz i very angry (its jus all in my mind tt e herbs will make me less angry, lol)... So bekcek, mum said mus go coz her bf seldom treat. Sigh... My marinated fish how, put back in e freezer liao but like duno will becum wat on sun...

I going out tmr, so only can cook e fish porridge on sun... Urgh.

Jap Curry

2006-07-19T16:09:00.000+08:00

Argh, my dream reminded me of e Jap Curry i made during feb. I lazy to find tt post, so i jus repost tt pic.

I saw a curry cooking show on tv yest noon. She was doing basically e same thing i did. Except tt her Jap curry is sweet and fruity and she uses chicken i used pork.

Its very easy to make, er, provided u cook lah. So maybe u gals wan to try it. I cant really imagine eating a sweet fruity curry though.

I will explain the receipe to e best of my memory. E guy who tasted her curry said its e best jap curry he tasted. Mus be bluff one, i dun believe.

Jap Curry Sauce
1) Add one tablespoon of butter into pot.
2) Add some chopped garlic.
3) Then some chopped onions.
4) Let it sauteen (duno how u spell tis, let it sit for awhile to soften e onions. From my experience, adding some wine is gd at tis pt, french style)
5) Then add in chopped green apples.
6) Lastly, add in chopped bananas.
7) Pour in a cup of chicken stock. Boil.
8) Ok now heres e prob, e lady sprinkled some orange powder from a small bottle, she said its to give a nice color. I haf no idea wats tt, so check out jap groceries.
9) Then she added in curry powder tis time, its a packet of grey brown powder, so check out jap curry powders as well. Tis one shd be easier to find.
10) Add one tablespoon of honey.
11) Let it simmer.
12) Chop some potatoes and carrots.
13) Boil the vegetables in water in another pot. Meanwhile go do e chicken katsu.

Chicken Katsu (Tis is is pretty standard, e same as how i always do katsu)
1) Flatten ur meat by cutting, if u use pork, remember to pound it, chicken no need to pound.
2) Beat some eggs, pour it onto a plate for easy coating
3) Prepare a plate of flour (in e show she jus said flour, i use jap tempura flour though)
4) Prepare a plate of bread crumbs. (e show said use e jap one, coz its coated wif honey, so will haf sweet taste, no idea how honey n bread crumbs come together though, u can use normal breadcrumbs of coz, its cheaper.)
5) U may wan to marinate ur meat, i do for mine. But jap one no need i think.
6) Now start coating, 1stly e flour (not too much), then eggs, then lastly crumbs.
7) Then deep dry it. Cut into smaller pieces afterwards.

Back to the sauce.
1) Drain ur cooked veges. (tis is wasteful, i would haf put e vege soup to gd use) Leave e veges in e pot.
2) E curry sauce tt u haf been cooking should be reduced to mashy state. So using a sieve, sift e sauce for a smooth texture into e pot of vege. Meanwhile use a spoon to mash on the substances left in e sieve.
3) Add in cornflour solution to thicken the sauce. (So chinese, i dun remember e actual jap curry using tis method). Then boil it for a short while until e thickness is jus nice. Dun overcook ur veges. She overcooked hers in e show i can tell.
4) And then done! U can serve e curry over e rice, together wif e chicken katsu.

Go try it, and let me noe if its nice. I imagine it being sweet from e way it was cooked. Sweet curry, hmm, cant imagine.

Nezumi and Wingede and HYDE

2006-07-19T13:00:00.000+08:00

Before i forget and take my time to post other entries, i better write tis one down 1st.

I dreamt of Nezumi and Wingede wor....

I had a big dream last night, of many things, coz i was extremely tired. But i'll only blog about tis part.

I dreamt of u gals setting up a Jap Curry stall at Bugis Food Street (or watever u call it), it was quite big considering u haf like more than 15 tables. Besides e jap curry, u also do some fried jap snacks, often they r sweet snacks. I like e snacks! Very gd! And u serve gd SAKE too!

I think i must be craving for curry, coz i was eating curry (chinese type) at home in e dream, and coz i jus ate curry, i didnt get to taste e curry u gals cooked.

U gals priced ur curry about $4.50 to $5.50 and the snacks ranges from $2 + to $4 +. I was so proud n happy for u gals, i kept going there for visits throughout my dream.

There was also tis part about HYDE. Somehow hes starring in a chinese or canto serial, shot in Malaysia. He appeared in a Hong Kong drama second serial and is shooting e third. So anyways, i got news of tis, and told Nezumi tt HYDE's gonna be shooting in JB. I think ur blogs are affecting me. Lol.

Anyways, Nezumi being crazy about HYDE. Set up her Jap Curry stall in JB as well. It was those kind u drive along e long highways of M'sia, then by the roadside plantations right? Then every now n then u see some stalls for ppl to stop over. Yup, u gals set up one like tt. Wingede remained in sg to attend to e Bugis stall, while Nezumi went JB to pursue her love. Lol.

Becoz Nezumi was shy and didnt wan to openly chase him. Her idea was to set up tis stall along e way, so tt e filmin crew would stop over since its Jap Curry anyways, so she'll get to see HYDE. It was very prominient compared to other dirty roadside stalls.

E stalls u gals set up were looking like Dunkin Donuts, of pinks, white and yellow. Very distinct. I saw it while i was driving thru, but i cant remember y i went JB.

Unfortunately, Nezumi did not see HYDE at the end of e whole thing. And she packed and went back to sg, disappointed. So sad right? Lol. Duno isit my fault or not. Lol.

So it was back to e Bugis branch where i help out (for free ok!!!) every now n then. U gals didnt even give me free curry to eat. *sob*

I still wonder how ur curry tastes like.

Tis makes me very hungry.

Stay Tune

2006-07-17T16:39:00.000+08:00

Lol, i got ur msg... Yeah will update but now cannot... Alot of things to do until tmr night, and i am going to cook a gd meal in half hr's time, its alot of work, i am trying new things again coz i thot of some new methods to try, but i get a feeling its going to turn out so gd later... Lol... I am so corky.

Will update tmr night or wed morning... I haf many things to say...

Jus a note, my last sat tt Blood Donation is not painful at all, not even any tingling feeling, no ants bite feeling, no nothing, it was so smooth. So it meant tt during my 1st time at HSA, they did a terrible job. But e whole experience was still scary, i will tell u y soon.

So having said tt, pls go n donate, i take back all my painful comments. But then if u r unlucky like me e 1st time, then too bad lah... Lol...

Waking Early

2006-07-14T13:26:00.000+08:00

I have been a gd girl tis week.

This week hor i wake up early everyday lor. Of coz not as early as u working ppl lah. I wake up about 8 +, 9 am everyday. Granted i wanted to wake at 7, but then i wake up so early so wat, nobody is up. Even my son dun wake up so early. My sis wake up 9 plus one lor, even though shes working at 9. Lol.

Anyways I try to wake after her so tt i dun disturb her and also wun snatch her toilet. I wake up 8 +, 9 but i laid on my bed till she gets out of e house, she dun like me blocking her ways in e morning. E 1st thing i awake, i always ON my pc, but then she sleepin so i try not to wake her. And she uses my pc table to do her make up also.

But then today i woke up late. Coz her timing wrong. I ended up waking at 10, my gawd. I offed my alarm and i forgot to re set it.

But then hor, i am very very tired leh. Even though i wake up earlier, i still sleep late. I jus cant get to sleep. At least i dun sleep at 8 am now, but i can only sleep 3 +, 4 am leh. Very tired lor. I am tired e whole day, kept wanting to doze off but then when i got on my bed at 12 + am, i am like totally awake again. Lol.

I now readin Battle Royale manga, so different, will tok about it after im done.

Happy Thots Happy Thots

2006-07-13T13:39:00.000+08:00

Hmm, i mus think of happy thots... But wat leh?

Yest i watched BR I again, the 1st one, not e 2nd. Still quite like it after watching so many times. But kinda not very into it anymore coz they now seem so young to me, now tt i am older. Lol. I kinda like e character Keiko (Kawada's dead gf who died in e prev BR they took), i thot shes very pretty. Very mature n feminine look.

I paid close attention to Kou Shibasaki who debut herself in e movie as a evil/heartless slut tis time. I still cant place her together wif her character wif Takuya Kimura in Good Luck. Although she kinda looks e same but she looks so old in Good Luck. Hmm, but its her mature features i think, shes not really tt old.

I like 2 pieces of music from BR I. One's called Memory, a sad instrumentral piece (piano n full orchestra) which plays over many sad moments or flashbacks in the movie. Another one is the end credits song, Shizukana Hibi No Kaidan Wo by Dragon Ash. I like tt song, a rather fast song.

I like a particular song from Hunter X Hunter in one of its OVA. E song is Pale Ale by Kurosawa Kenichi. A fast paced song as well, it was e opening credits song. Becoz of tt song, its e only anime i jus let e credits run instead of fast forwarding. Lol.

The song has a indie/tribal kind of beat/drums to it. I like, even my sis thot e song's interesting. But then hor, e song's damn loud, e voice is practically in shouting mode. U even hear e singer gasp, coz he like sing/rap most of the lines in one breath. Its jus very loud. But I like e way e opening and e anime characters blended wif e song, which of coz was showcasing them running to e beat. Which is a pretty funny sight, coz e animators of tt anime seem to haf prob in doing run sequences. Most of e characters look like they r dancing when they r running. But of coz, tts anime a long time ago, cant help.

Overall, its nice wif e whole Hunter Hunter feel and e song, although Hunter X Hunter is no way near fast paced. Lol. But hor, listening e song thru my ear phones is a pain. It hurts and gives me headache. Lol.

The closing credits of BR II is Mayonaka Shounen Totsugeki Dan by Stance Punks. I do not like tt song at all. Though its rock especially later on (shoutings). But its not nice (to me) so i dun get y tt song's popular.

2 more days to the donation. I am still excited but not looking forward to needles, pain and bruising. E pricking of finger tip to test ur blood is especially painful. More painful than my own pricking for diabetes check at home. But in a way i am used to tt, so not so bad. I say so much scarly sat i cannot pass. Lol.

These r not happy thots leh, but then nvm lah, at least they r something else.

Frustration

2006-07-13T02:09:00.000+08:00

I feel very frustrated lately. Very pissed at everything.

At our media, reporters, journalists, gahmen, family, frenz, everything. I see everything also angry, i watch shows, anime, movies, news, variety shows, i can somehow nitpick e smallest things (which are many, sadly) tt makes me angry.

Im not sure if its PMS, coz my last mth one was weird, so i do not noe whether tis mth coming earlier or not. Although i do feel very hungry now, but pls come after sat. I wan to donate blood lor! I donated my blood during my menses e 1st time, and i did not reveal it to e doc, so i am not sure whether i so called fainted isit coz of tt or not.

Judging fr last mth's menses, i knew i was under tremedous stress. Or at least enuff to affect me.

Its simply frustrating when everything ard u, isnt going well at all and tt everything ard other ppl's going extremely well. Just becoz those ppl r more lucky, rich, pretty or slim than me. WTH!!!

I just told my sis today after hearing about her new colleagues (she transfered branch), "Its so sad tt there r so many ppl who cannot find jobs and yet ur colleagues got high pay job and never take their work seriously."

Supposedly a job tt's fr 9 to 6.30pm. Her colleagues only come in fr 10-11am, and then at 12, they go eat a 3 hr lunch and then at 4, they left early. All e while e manager jus close one eye. Or rather he do e same too, he left at 3.

So bek cek lor. Ur job pays u better than other jobs and then those ppl got so sucky attitude. Ppl who wan to work, like me, wan to find job also cannot find. Bloody hell lor!!!!!!!!!! I knoe they very happy there, but its jus so unfair lor. Even my sis also lidat.

Maybe i shd act all holy n crap n feel god damn happy for those of u whos doing fine... But i cannot now, coz everything is not fine for me.

Argh, forget it.

I am jus so down. Though not e worst i haf had. But i am not gd. Sigh.

Life is jus so bloody unfair. Even in own families, same blood one, y e fate so different? Luck runs out? Kiss my foot! Ive not seen any lucky person run out of luck be4. And now see, i am so right. Say wat luck no more, no more ur head. Wan to gain sympathy then act vulnerable, now everything ok liao then so happy annouce to e whole world.

Even my lucky fren who quit his job, and tell me e job no gd, colleagues no gd tis n tt, then 1 week later, a job dropped fr e sky, double or triple his pay. Not one but two somemore. And somemore he sucks at work, character n attitude.

And still got e cheek to tell me, most of e time he no need find jobs one, usually jobs will come to him. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoever tts passing judgement is jus blind. Dun tell me bullshit tt eventually things will become better, there will be kharma. Bullshit!

Ah crap.

Dun mind me. Maybe its really PMS.

My sis bf just popped over to sleep. I got to stop here... See, even wan to complain let things out also cannot. So unfair.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Nikon S4

2006-07-12T11:11:00.000+08:00

(PS: I bought n used it for mths liao. Only now then tok about it. In case i use awhile then got prob mah)

I wanted to change my old Canon Ixus I a long long long time ago. Having so many temptations in e market, i was swayed. They r apparent cheaper. Damn!

My 4 megapix was inadequate. But I also dun wan to crash my com using 8 megapix, u noe i cant really preview pics tts 8 megapix? I haf some photos fr frenz taken using their stylo milo huge cams and often it slows down my processing memory so much when i am doing something to them.

Maybe its jus tt i dun haf enuff ram. Ok, shut up.

After a whole yr of research, i settled on 6 megapix compact cams. 6 is just nice, do read up on mega pix as well. No pt spending more on mega pixs.

I only wan to upgrade my cam for everyday use (*er hem* mainly narcisistic photos). Also, i like to haf spare everything. So having 2 cams is always gd, although i did consider selling away my canon ixus for a cheap price, but i jus couldnt bear it.

E 1st moment i used a Kyocera rotating lens cam yrs back in 2004, i knew i wanted one as well. As much as i am gd at taking self portraits, its always easier on ur nerves to use a rotating cam (*er hem* for narcisistic photos). No lah, easier to take wif frenz also mah, no need to try n try n see ur frenz head cropped off.

My demanding side hates ppl taking my pics, so rotating lens makes it easy for me to take my bg n me when i am out, rather than letting others (especially those who duno how to take pics) take bad photos which resulted deletion from me later on.

And during self timer, i can still see e whole frame mah. Also, e rotating lens can take many angels, i like. Easier to take my son's pic as well, no need to move so much. Jus lower my lens, zoom and snap. Easy as hell!

When i got my progress package money, i knew tt its time. Lol.

Lets not even tok about my rotating requirements. Lets tok about brands.

For me personally, i do not like brands like fujifilm, kyocera, casio, etc. I also do not like their image quality. For e bigger brands, although i haf tis thing for touch screen (as ive always said) and was so tempted to get Sony's touch screen digi cam, i held myself back. I am a cheapo, i wan cams tt hold SD cards, becoz my other gadgets use SD cards as well, i can interchange.

Sony not using SD already way off... Byebye touch screen.

I boycott Canon, coz Canon is not durable AT ALL... The softwares r often unstable as well. So even though Canon Ixus series are the best compact digi ard, i wasnt even aroused.

I was interested in Panasonic cams, them being e second best next to canon for compact cams. Im only toking about compact digi cams, not toking about manual/dslr/slr... As i've said, i was only looking for a everyday use cam. Like i said be4, if u r pro, u shdnt even go digital. E photos lack depth. Ok nuff said.

If Pana offers rotating, i would haf got it. But too bad. Although i do find Pana ex, especially their new cams.

There were limited rotating lens in e market. Even Kyocera didnt come up wif any newer models. Canon did haf a cam wif rotating flip lcd monitor, but then tts very diff. Besides e screen was so small.

So e only choice was NIKON S4.

While Nikon is e leader in cameras, but its still a baby for digi cams. So when i told ppl i wan e Nikon S4, ppl said im crazy. But i wan the rotating lens mah, besides, S4 is e only digi cam tt offers 10X OPTICAL zoom wif rotating lens. I haf e best combi i wanted. Now i duno la, bought my cam liao so i stopped all research, dun wan to heart pain u noe.

Ppl said S series no gd coz e lens is fixed internally or something. But S4 is different, e lens is not fixed but moves inside its own lens barrel. If not how to do optical zoom? I am so happy wif e zoom, so much so tt ive often forgot i got it. Lol. I can take close ups of building wif a lousy digi cam. Digi cams are all lousy to me compared to slr/film cams.

I usually buy very small n light cams. But e main prob wif tt is e pictures often turn out blur. So tis time i decided to get a heavier one. So i haf no prob wif S4's bigger n heavier frame, although my arms do ache. Lol.

It comes wif a lens cap as well, and e lens cap is attached to it. No need to scared lose it. The lid cover u can just flip it to e side and it stays there. Duno y ppl complain about it. Got lens cap still complain, can dun put one mah. Clean ur lens more lor. I like it though, especially e flipping n staying, no hastle at all.

Tis guy mus be huge, e cam looks so small between his fingers.

Due to e big monitor screen, e cam requires a different way of handling. If not u will put finger prints there wif ur thumb. I dun haf prob holding it e way its suppposed to though. Resting my right thumb on its desired place on top is no prob. SZ who most likely will use my cam more than anyone else, holds e cam like e guy in e pic, so wun haf finger prints.

But heck, i pasted protective film on e monitor anyways, so its ok even if u touch it.

E micro is very gd. It received lots of compliments. E cam i mean. E zoom range is gd as well, i often do not need e full zoom, even when i was shooting e Sentosa Merlion's head. I locked my canon's digital zoom, as u noe, who e hell uses e horrible digital zoom.

One feature my cam lacks is e motion/image stabilization which is so popular now although i heard Sony's one no gd. It was something i had to give n take. But e other features n setting makes up for it though. The Best Shot Selector (BSS) solves e blur pics. So i am still happy. E manual settings were better than i expected as well. I like their colors, image quality better than Canon's (my old cam i mean).

The photos on my old cam r alot darker when transfered to e com, which was a major prob, together wif e blur tendancy. But S4 dun haf these probs, so i am happy no matter wat ppl said.

I think e main prob wif e cam is viewing e monitor under sunlight. Its not very clear, but also coz i set e brighter n contrast to very low. But still can see la, not so kua zhang like wat others said. Other countries got sell e LCD shade cover, i really like it, will be perfect. But i also duno go where find here in sg. Also, e monitor cannot be viewed from all angles like some newer cams do, but tts not impt mah.

Regardless of wat ppl say about Nikon S series, all i can say is S4 is different fr its series itself. Its almost separate. E features are different too. I used to pass by Dhoby Ghaut mrt and gaze at the Nikon S4's poster. Its been there for very long. They even removed their other posters and left e S4 there.

I bought it cheaper than e market price. Retail was 699, i bought it at 580. Another reason i was happy for. Haha. Pls dun tell me how much it cost now ok. PC fair was 699 as well except they give u 1 GB card, i had 512 card fr tt shop, so its ok. Its still cheaper. So PC fair's not e best deal always.

My cam uses AA batts as well. I am so happy on tt too. Its so much cheaper than lithium ion batts. I already bought another set of rechargeable AA batts and it last longer as well. 2 AA batts can last up to about 260 shots.

It better to get a cam catered to ur preferences n needs. No pt spending 850 plus bucks getting a cam tt ppl tell u its gd. Confirm u wun really like it one. Digi cams r more or less e same, so it boils down to knowing wat u wan most.

If not for e 6 megapix, 10X optical zoom, rotating lens, hinged lens cap, 2.5 inch screen, AA batts, SD card, under 600 bucks combination, i would haf gotten a Canon Ixus or a Panasonic Lumix. Although tt would burn a hole in my pocket.

And now, i couldnt even ask for more, coz its perfect, FOR ME~

Blood Donation & Orange Coconuts

2006-07-10T12:30:00.000+08:00

I made an appointment wif SZ to go do e Blood Donation again tis sat. Although i like already postponed it for mths coz i didnt wan to go there myself. Lol.

Shes very worried tt she would fail again, she said its demoralisin. Haha. I told her to squeeze e ball every night, to which she lost it already, i think.

I told myself to do it 4 times a yr, but i think i can only do 3 tis yr, due to e postponing thingy. To be honest, although i am kinda excited, . But i am also scared at the same time. Lol.

Coz its painful ok? And then i got to get thru e pain n bruising... So its kinda scary to think about it. Besides, i haf deep vein, if e nurses arent experienced enuff, given tt im going to e donation mobile instead of HSA, i am going to fail too. HSA very far lor. Then tis time e mobile very near to our places, so i made her go, no excuses liao.

The 1st time i asked her to go for my 2nd donatn, she asked me y i wan to continue doing it, to which i said, "Coz can help ppl mah!"... She gave me a very strange look as if i am lying thru my teeth, which i am not. But maybe ppl r jus not used to me saying these things...

And then she said shes most likely not going to try it again. Coz very far, then if cannot, its a waste of time, effort n money, to which i said, "U cannot think lidat mah, mus think of saving/helping patients!". Then she said, "True also la."

And then recently, she asked me e same qns again (shes forgetful one la)... So tis time, remembering my last, i answered differently, "Coz donating blood makes me healthier." She immediately reacted n said, "Cannot think lidat, u mus think of saving ppl instead."...

Hahahaha, very funny... Didnt i already mentioned shes a forever changing kind of person. I bet she doesnt remember about these.

Only 5 days away, i am looking n not looking forward to it, duno tis time i will collapse or not... I think 2nd time liao shd be better? Or shd i ask for iron tablets? But eating iron tablets is not so gd right? I mean like isnt it better for ur body to recover from itself?

Anyways, i mus die die remember to paste e plaster (for motion sickness), if not i confirm die tis time. It works lor! Proven liao. So if u got motion sickness prob and cannot solve it, ask me. Hmm, but i think i shd take train instead of bus tis time to play safe as well.

I grabbed n cropped tis pic from a frenz' fren frenster pic. Hmm, duno isit bad of me to jus grab it lidat or not... But i wan to show mah...

I like e wrapping! I like haf tis paper also, one of e gifts fr SZ, was wrapped in tis kind of paper as well... The purplish/pinkish wif yellow tint kind... Multi color plus some bits of shimmer i like...

Too bad e flowers arent white roses, but tis bouquet overall looks so nice. In e pic, she received 2 bouquets. E other one though e flowers are big n nice but its damn ugly overall. Can tell tis one is from a better florist, e other one might be those cheapo kind. Red and purple scheme is e worst i felt.

But i tell u ar, guys like to buy tt kind. Red roses wif deep purple wrappins, fugly! My own bfs also lidat. My sis also got one fr her bf too, but her bf didnt noe, coz he color blind! My sis did ask him y e colors so ugly, he said he cant tell then he got quite angry after finding out wat e florist did... lol.

Some time back i was on a date wif tis color blind guy (i noe alot of color blind guys btw), i find it rather amusing, not in a bad way... Im always imagining how they see e world... Usually when i meet up wif color blind guys, e 1st thing i would ask for them to tell me is, wat colors am i wearing...

But before i even met him, i asked him wat color is his car, to which he said, "Not sure!". He said some said dark blue, some said under sunlight is dark green. Haha, then when i saw him, alamak, his car is black lor, i didnt even see any blue or green hint. His frenz mus be color blind as well... Haha, or maybe they bluff him one.

Black is gd, my fav car color.

My clothes color, obviously he cant tell fr some shades, like differentiating maroon fr brown. He jus happened to wear a tee shirt wif multi colors print on it, so he was using his shirt to tell me wat color he can see n wat hes not sure.

Then later on in the day, i asked him casually, "Have u drank e orange coconuts be4?"...

He exclaimed, "U mean theres orange coconuts?"...

Me, "Yup! (i forgot hes color blind) ". Since we were at a beach i pointed them to him. He said he naturally assumed all coconuts are green...

So funny. But of coz, my pt was to tok about e drinking of orange coconuts, his color blindness wasnt even in my mind then. Do the other color blind mates noe about orange coconuts? I wonder.

Birthday Wishlist

2006-07-08T22:00:00.000+08:00

I always see female bloggers haf tis every yr for their frenz, i also wan to write one (although i dun haf frenz now). Since my bday's coming soon in 1 mth and 6 days. Although i doubt i get anything from it. Just for fun bah, to see wat i feel like having now.

Lets see.

U noe hor, its kinda difficult getting things i like. Sure, i would love to tell u i wan to haf new watches, bags, clothes, shoes, cosmetics, accessories, but then how do u judge whether i like it or not.

1) ~~Shoes/Clothes~~
I am picky about designs (although i like crystals/diamante stuffs in general) and e fit (for shoes n clothes), doesnt mean e same size would fit me perfectly. Unless i tried it liao, say i like it alot then u get it, but if tts e case, i would usually jus buy it myself. Lol. I dun like to wait, i am bloody impatient. And besides i very suay one lor, wait somemore confirm dun haf one. Tis one is proven.

2) Bags
I have tis thing for bags. More bags is always an available option. I wanna get lacy bags, but same thing, how to judge whether i like or not. I myself think twice for those i like when i am considering buying. I also wanna get a wrist purse tts gold or bronze in color. I also would like to have a trendy green bag to match my shoe wedge and green outfits. But so far, i myself haf not seen one yet. Do not get me yucky green. I do not like typical normal green n muddy green. Sparkles on e bag is added appeal. I also like flowers decor. I like bags wif a sweet big flower.

3) Accessories
Any thing with crystals/diamante. White on e safe side, green if its a nice green. I clip my hair alot, so nice beautiful hair clips can do. I am over e purple stage, too many purple clips. I like butterflies, crowns, princessy designs.

I like pearls also, haf not gotten any myself. And gold. Gold suits me more than silver. White/gold/pearls e right combi. Earrings i wan big dangly chunky ones. Saw so many i like every time i am out but never got them.

I still wan e charm bracelets, but tis one is hard to judge my preference. Necklaces i prefer long ones. But same prob. So maybe not.

4) Watches
I like watches that can accessorise as well. All my watches haf crystals/beads. So tts a main factor. I like cheap watches as well, i still wan e gold version of a white crystal watch i bought some time back, which looks like a fake guess watch, not e one wif qns mark one (20 bucks).

I also like e blue beads one i saw 2 weeks back, but got red/orange beads as well, haven decided on e color (15 bucks).

5) Cosmetics
I am always looking for more cosmetics. Its never enuff to add to ur collection. But i haf to see also. I like e diamond star dust at Dodoclub ($10+), i like e whitish yellow one, though i haf no time to try others then. I also wan bronzing powder and face glitter powder. But then hard to judge so leave it ba. My liquid eye liner running out as well. Aiyah, nvm.

6) Perfume*
I need new perfume badly, i used up all my old ones. I am however not sure wat i like now. Though i heard Anna Sui's Beach Dollie is quite nice. I haf e sample but haven tried it yet.

7) SD Card **
I wan 1 GB SD card (although i dun mind 2 GB). The camera shop offer me 60 bucks for e 1 GB (Toshiba black one i think). I wan it for e simplest reason. I wan to transfer my 512mb SD card fr my cam to my phone. I am fed up wif my phone's 128mb card.

8) Flowers ***
I wan a big bouquet of white roses wrapped in green papers n gold ribbons. I dun wan one stalk. Although flowers kinda wither and white roses dun make nice dried flowers but somehow, i feel like getting tis more than e rest leh. Maybe coz e rest i eventually can buy myself, but buying a big bouquet of roses for myself is simply crazy.

9) Chocolates *
Dark chocolates only pls. I hate raisins chocs be it dark or milk choc. But i dun mind strawberries dipped in choc, very sensual.

10) Food
Japanese food is e best option. Next comes international buffet but ex leh.

11) Activities
I can only think of tis, the overnight ktv at Party World. Tis time drink wif me, so we can get 2 jugs free 1 jug. Then go home in e morning. Heh.

12) Cake
I seriously dun mind if its only 1 slice or a few slices of different cakes. Then we can like share share mah. I prefer variety.

But i haf to say one whole cake got e bday mood though. My fav is emicake. I like choc mousse, yam, durian (only real D24 kind not those flavoured ones). I like lots of fresh cream, no butter cream, i will puke. If its whole cake, i prefer those pre ordered so can write names, i do tt for ppl. Duno y nobody bothers nowadays. U just order 1 week in advanced, wats so troublesome about tt?

Isnt it pleasant when u see the "Happy Birthday, XX!" on e cake? Although its cliche but it beats an empty cake, and knowing tt e person just grabbed it along e way to meet u. Ive always like it since young, even for teachers during teachers day i also pre order.

I only grabbed along e way if its last minute celebration or i didnt noe its ur bday.

__________________________________________________________

I think tts about it. I read thru wat i wrote, i am like so fussy n demanding. Hahahah. Its just a list mah. Reality and wish dun mix. Although mine looks pretty realistic. E most ex one is e perfume i guess, less than 100 bucks.

In actual, just a heart warming/inspirational/romance movie (if haf lah), followed by dinner, and/or normal ktv will do. Cake or no cake doesnt matter, at most eat for dessert during dinner lor, jus for symbolic purpose. No sing song/blow candles nvm one, i paiseh one leh. In fact, tis jus seems like wat i do every sat. Lol.

But i wan the flowers leh! Hahah. Big bouquet of white roses wif green wrapping n gold ribbons! The bigger e better, muahahaha. I will keep tis bouquet as long as i can. Lol. Provided no bugs go stay inside. My 99 stalks of roses got bugs, i nearly freaked out, threw it away less than a yr later. Very sad then leh. Now no more le. :~(

Nothing beats spending a day wif someone u like to be wif (non romantically inclined) and the FLOWERS!

KTV

2006-07-08T09:07:00.000+08:00

I went KTV last night wif SZ. Went Party World as usual. Party World rocks ok!!!!!!

Anyways, we headed to e woodlands outlet, it happened to be our usual ktv hangout lately. Coz e songs r especially newer there, their rooms are bigger, and their sound systems better coz new outlet mah.

SZ said we shd do hall next time. Aiyah, she sing well now of coz she wanna sing hall. I sing like shit and always complain ppl sing like shit in the hall. Lol. E hall singings r especially loud, so its very distracting when u r in e rooms... Yest night was especially distracting, wif one mega loud male singer outside. I lost some of my tunes thks to him.

Actually its not like i really mind, i do sing hall at times (when its fully booked and i die die wan to sing no matter wat). Just tt its quite frustrating taking turns btw tables u noe. And also i haf to be careful wif my song selectns, cannot pick those sing for fun ones... And also, nobody stands to sing in e hall, and no one takes off their shoes obviously.

I also wanna stand on e sofas mah, although theres no sofas in e hall.

I ordered a jug of beer myself last night. I especially told SZ i will be drinking. But within e 1st hr only, i drank like 3/4 jug liao... So angry, so fast one. I drank it like water, never pace myself, i got nothing much to drink for e next 3 hrs n was like dying of thirst.

I also finished one whole bowl of tibits, e pop corn one not nice so i never touch. Very hungry leh. I whole day only drank one bowl of chicken soup wif nothing but one drumbstick.

Truth be told i wanna get drunk. But then i also noe how to get drunk by drinking beer? Further more 1 jug only. I thot i could at least get tipsy. I did however find it hard to concentrate on singing wif e alcohol in my brain/blood for awhile. My mind couldnt work fast enuff to keep in tune n melody, i was often slower... Lol... Something new i found out.

It was rather disappointing, i didnt feel much. I wouldnt order another jug and burn my own pocket. Besides if i order another jug, they would give me another one jug free. How to finish everything on my own? Its not e alcohol but so much liquid. 1 jug i already went like 10 times to e toilet liao...

If i drink 3 jugs within 4 hrs, i think instead of singing i would haf spent all my time pouring, drinking, goin toilet, pouring, drinking, going toilet. Lol.

On top of tt, its no fun drinking ALONE u noe. Although u get to drink more.

SZ said i smell like her Dad, lol... E beer smell i noe. So i thot i smell really bad (u cant smell e beer smell if u r e drinker), but when i reaCHED home at 12+am, nobody said anything. Even my son never noticed when he kissed me. I was lying down on my bed wif mum n sis next to me, both also never asked. Lol. So i conclude SZ is super sensitive!

We went for e peak peak hrs last night (fri/sat night most ex). Minus my beer, we paid like 20+ each. It is cheaper if u go in grps of 4, then u only need to share out 10+. We dun haf grp mah, so always 2 of us lor.

Even so, its very cheap le. U try going Kbox. U cry man. Especially 2 person, pay until u siao. And their alcohol so ex somemore.

Funny? Maybe not...

2006-07-06T05:23:00.000+08:00

It is funny u noe when somebody must be drunk when e person hasnt returned after a certain time.

It is funny u hear ur son barking madly non stop for longer than usual (when he doesnt bark normally), u noe tt drunk person must be at the door, figuring out e keys, figuring out where e key hole is.

It is funny u hear loud crazy knocks after a long time, must haf given up on e keys.

It is funny u see tt person not wearing her heels properly.

It is funny u see tt person wobbling ard, falling down, breaking into giggles every moment.

But,

It is not funny when tt person shouted at her bf over her hp, saying she cannot find her hp.

It is not funny when u hear sounds of crashing and smashing.

It is not funny when tt person threw her hp at u, and when u asked wats wrong, tt person said she cannot find her hp.

It is not funny when tt person forced u to call her bf using her phone when u noe her bf would never pick up.

It is not funny when tt person wans to use ur phone to call her bf. (Hp at risk! Lucky bf never pick up)

It is not funny when tt person makes a fuss about everything and throwing her temper.

It is not funny seeing a naked woman prancing ard. (Im not comfortable wif naked bodies, its like look or not look confusion)

It is not funny seeing a naked woman getting frustrated trying to unlock her necklace in front of e mirror for e past 15 mins.

It is not funny when tt person laid on ur bed to dry her hair using e air con. (My bed is jus next to e air con) Note tt person will puke on ur mattress any time.

It is not funny when tt person collapsed and sleep there. (Wif wet hair!!!)

It is not funny when u see ur room and bed covered wif drenched clothes.

It is not funny seeing the drenched pieces of lingerie every where.

It is not funny seeing a messed up toilet and vomit all over. (makes me wan to vomit)

Yup, tt pretty sums up everything.

On the gd side,

I can listen to music or watch videos and tt person wouldnt even react. (also coz my mum's in msia wif her new/old bf)

I can even ON the lights till morning (i do not like to use my com in darkness), but i OFF it coz i am a considerate person. Lol.

I can bring food into my room and eat in front of the com. (ppl who posts pictures of food on their blogs are so evil!)

I can type as freely as i wan and blog in the night.

I am sure she's going on MC tmr. Time to change my plans for tmr as well.

Hungry~

Happy Birthday, Gackt!

2006-07-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Gackt.

=)

Garfield Attack

2006-07-04T16:06:00.002+08:00

Warning: Dun read just before or after ur meal.

I brought my son down for a walk yest. And there was tis alpha male cat sitting beside a stone table. My mum was saying like, "Careful, got cat!"...

Little did i noe, my son practically just walked past and ignored tt garfield (tt cat resembles garfield to e max). The cat got nervous for a moment when they were close. I think my son didnt noe tt "thing" is a cat. Not in his vocab. Hes alittle simple minded, duno isit him or his breed.

And then when we returned, we saw garfield again. My son still no reaction but hes sniffing ard for territories as usual. And u noe how animals like to mark stone table stools, so my son was happily sniffing ard e stone table, intruded the garfield play yard, and tt cat attacked my son!

Bloody hell!

Luckily i play violent wrestling wif my son everyday. So his jump back skills are top notch. He hid behind me without a scratch.

Seeing how useless my son is and me being a evil person, i tried to make my son confront tt orange furball. To no avail of coz. Hes too timid.

But e furball seeing tis as an advantage, followed us, clearly ignoring me. Hello? I am bigger than u ok? Although i cannot scratch u to bleed unlike u can to me. Hmm...

Garfield followed my son like a silent reaper. Slowly, quietly, inching closer n closer to his prey. My son was of coz oblivious to everything, still sniffing ard. I knew garfield's going to attack him again, and seeing how hopeless my son is, i brought him home.

Did i mention be4, he's afraid of birds? He was intimidated by a grp of pigeons down my Blk.

He also got chased ard e house by roaches... Sigh, my prev dog can catch n devour roaches for me one lor. Tis one i still got to help him. Hes also afraid of ants, flies, watever. Hes afraid of everything except humans.

He especially love old ppl. He likes to chase n make frenz wif them.

My fren said must educate him so tt he would not fear cats. How to educate? He everything also scared one.

My mum fed him delicious famous chicken rice last night. But he puked out everything later. I duno u guys noe or not. Pets when they puke out their food becoz of body rejection, they would normally eat back their puke. But they dun eat back their puke if they r really sick.

Sounds disgusting? Then dun keep any pets. U gotta accept e whole package. Including all e disgusting nonsense.

I discovered him eating back his puke (which had becum chicken porridge instead), luckily i saw quite early, he ate back abit only or so i thot. Then later in the night, while i was in my room. I saw him going on his toilet tray, in his pooing action.

Then i heard, PSssssssssstttttttt~

Wa biangz... He lao sai, diarrhea (duno how u spell) leh... E sound was so obvious.

So smelly, and so messy... 1st time he LS until so er xin. The smell is like human one. Then he dripped all over. I almost puked on top of his puddles of shit when i was clearing. The most smelly and disgusting tt ive cleared so far.

All my mum's fault. Too oily liao lah.

Then he very guilty, scared i beat him. Haha. So cute.

If u think tis is disgusting n bad, wait till next time u haf ur own babies, i am sure its going to be a 100 times worst.

500th Post

2006-07-03T00:44:00.000+08:00

Don't u just love e little story link tt i shared fr my prev post? It was sweet and bitter at the same time. Check it out, i love the stories shared thru his perspective and not to say the illustrations great. I like tt. Also his website for those of u who r still into design, illustrations n photography.

I always share n enjoy local works... So i hope u guys would look into it too, since most of u r already or going to be in e creative industry...

This is my 500th post... So its an excuse for a new change... Dun be shocked, Celestine's still here... Haha...

U noe me, i get bored of things easily, no matter how much i like it in e 1st place. Thats excluding food, ppl, activities. I am known to be a person who can do e same thing (not work though, i will go mad) everyday or eat e same damn food everyday as well. But if i really love something then tts different. So finally ive gotten into changing my template... I also did something else too. :X

My cbox comment box had been removed... No idea how to put it back into my new template, so i decided to leave it as it is for now... I dun like e idea of squeezing it into e small col as well. Just post e comments on the entry like usual. Maybe i will make more changes in the future when i haf more time n of coz when i lose my lazy genes. My profile short details also gone, but tts not impt anyways.

I am not really used to tis. But i like e design. However, i miss my greens already. Its not really easy to find a nice greenish layout, somehow ppl who decided tt those who like green templates like ugly or boring ones, so ya... If u see any nice greenish ones do let me noe though... I am always up for changes.

My prev default template seems very dated n dull as well, so i thot i get one tt is more modern, brighter, and erm, more suitable to a once design student like myself... Haha... Dun even ask me to do one myself.

More tmr after i wake up. My sis's sleeping... Dun wanna disturb her sleep...

Oh the other hand, my com kena virus again... Multiple attacks again somemore thks to trojan horse... I pretty much cleaned them so i shall see... Damn horsey! And argh, my lousy free anti virus...

A Bunch Of Smelly Guys And Their Balls

2006-07-02T18:17:00.000+08:00

Read this. (Nothing to do wif soccer, jus a irrelevant entry to share)

I very tired today... My head's been spinning since ive woken up... Duno y leh... I noe i didnt sleep enuff but i think its coz i spent a long time outside walking yest... Sigh, old liao old liao...

I haven bath my son yet... Lazy leh, can bath him tmr or not? But he smelly lor... My sis also very tired... She wanted to mop e house but shes sleeping now... Lol... She went to watch World Cup last night... Another mad one... Muahahah...

She enjoyed it coz shes kept laughing at the crowd... She said they r very entertaining than e match itself... Especially e young teens, then she came back imitating them... Their "aiyo aiyo", "wah wah", watever e young lians/bengs patterns were... So funny...

She said e England match was exciting but the Brazil match was too boring, she came back watching halfway... Besides she dun wan to stay there till morning...

SZ's craze over the World Cup is driving me mad... Muahahaha.... She kept toking about them, i dun even noe who or wat e hell shes toking about... And she gets excited jus hearing e crowd cheering... Haha, mad mad!!!

She makes a excellent companion for soccer siao guys right? Lol...

I am sure those guys r yearnin for gfs like her... Haha...

Her fav France won... She was so happy she smsed me... I was still sleeping somemore... lol... Unfortunately, those tt i noe all supported Brazil, so more ppl were sad... Haha...

BR II

2006-06-29T18:45:00.000+08:00

I just watched Battle Royale 2 last night... Better blog about it coz its a forgettable film, i already dun remember much about e show...

I haf no idea y it took me so long to get to tis movie... I like e 1st one, but when the movie sequel was screened at Cineleisure yrs ago, i was underage unfortunately... During then there was no NC16 or M18, so e movie was rated RA (21) i think... Well, not tt i haf a prob wif e underage issue, just tt its not worth it to risk e ticket money for tt movie...

While i was interested, Battle Royale is not e kind tt i would bear to forfeit my money if i was caught...

I was browsing for new Gackt clips (i do tt daily but not only about Gackt), then i saw one fan made a BR2 MV usin his song... And then i after watching i thot, yahor, y i never watch tt movie ar...

So anyways, i watched wif my sis last night and she fell asleep halfway thru... Lol...

Movie critics were on 2 extreme ends, either u love it or u hate it...

For me, since i already noe, i am not all tt disappointed... I already noe how its coming...

The movie was too long for its genre... Its 2 hrs plus, for a violent movie (supposedly), tts way too much... U can tell they tried to push the film and added lots of scenes where theres long dialogs... To make things worst, they spoke in a slow old fashion manner (imagine young cute actors speaking tt way, tts abit nerve wrecking)...

A typical 1 hr and 1/2 is enuff to showcase a very tight and exciting storyline... Further more, theres isnt much story in tis kind of movie anyway, its not drama...

U noe those typical movie scenes where the casts are trying to teach e audience some moral grds/values on evil/good ppl, how we live our lives, e reality of e world of adults, how dominating countries create war, how many innocent lives lost, etc? Yup, tonnes of those scenes... I think tis is e reason y e movie received e worst reviews on tt end...

Ppl watched BR1 for e gore n violence, they werent expecting the sequel to be full of slow preaches (again, by very young cute guys at tt)...

BR1 is a sick movie, u see how e grp of classmates and even close/best frens doubt one another, and eventually killing one another off for their own survival... We all r sick anyways, so we enjoy these kind of movies where humans kill off one another for their own self... Disgustingly sick, bloody but exciting it at e same time... Often in these kind of movies, u would wonder how e next person's gonna die and u anticipates...

BR2 broke away fr tt... Its no longer selfish senseless killings... At least there was a reason now, and whether valid or not tts another thing...

Instead of killing each other, they now haf to kill e leader of a terrorist grp, who was e male survivor of BR1 (yea, Kira~ urgh)... He formed a terrorist grp and launched attacks on e adults for revenge... Sworing to kill off all e adults in tis world so tt they could let e children live n smile peacefully and openly once again...

So tis time, its war, not a survival game... The students were equipped wif combat weapons and uniforms, being sent to e island where e terrorists were hiding... They had to kill e leader within 72 hrs...

The students were abit different, they were not as smart as the 1st... Many of them r cowards n losers... Tis time they chose a class of losers/ah bengs/lians/delinquents, so its different compared to the class of BR1... Which explains y more than half of e class were already killed even be4 e main action started...

They were also matched in pairs, if one dies, ur necklace explodes... Also they haf to stay in a 50 m range as well... I haf no idea y they did tt, perhaps only to torture e students... Coz on one hand they used e students to kill their common enemy, on the other hand, they keep some of e old rules to get rid of most of them as well... Totally double standards, i couldnt understand... Maybe e adults r jus having fun watching e whole damn thing...

But i see no students having known e pairing rule, protect or even work together wif their partners... But like i said, they arent smart students... So u see most of them died coz their partners died... Abit pathetic... They dun use their brains, so they dun work together nor come up wif plans or form allies which were some exciting parts of BR1... For tis class, e survivors were more like random killing and shooting...

Oh e girls of BR1 were really smart n evil at the same time... E girls of this class were mainly just running n screaming ard and getting killed... They kept freaking out all e way... Made me abit pissed.... Haha... Then u see all e guys very gung ho and go shooting like theres no tmr...

Lots of explosives/bullets used in tis film... Their methods of killing were military based, so nothing interesting there... BR1 they gave them random weapons, it can be a paper fan or pot depending on ur luck... Lol... Tis one everyones equipped wif rifles...

There was a major plot overlook which i saw... But i dismissed it as maybe e director forgot...

Tis movie is better in quality compared to e 1st... I am not toking about video quality... Quality as in filming qualities, e props, sets, etc... I cant stand some fake CG stuffs though... The cast were also better looking in general... The 1st one was more random...

I wont really say tt its a bad sequel due to one simple reason, it wasnt e same director...

The director of BR1 passed away due to cancer after only shooting e 1st scene of BR2... So his son took over in honour of his Dad since he wrote e script anyways ... Tt to me, is a gd enuff reason to support tis movie...

The pacing goes up n down, it started off slow, then e same thing as of e 1st, e bus, then brought to tis place, then e explanation etc... Very draggy coz we all still remember mah... Then e action started, it was quite thrilling and then everything stopped... After e surviving kids turned to the terrorists, it became like a drama, hearing stories etc... Tt was where my sis fell asleep... Lol... And then lastly the action picked up for a final confrontation, and then ended wif a slow ending...

Oh, one interesting aspect was e daughter of the teacher of BR1, appeared n joined the BR act in tis one in order to find out y her Dad was fascinated wif e female lead of BR1 and also to avenge him... I thot e character was pretty interesting, but e character wasnt used to e fullest, it pretty much fell flat in the middle, she became jus a sick kick ultimately...

For Br1 i like e extra 2 characters in the game, they were so cool and interesting... For tis one, theres no such kind of anticipation...

Maybe younger ppl would be more fascinated learning things about e real world, reality, wars etc... But as for e more mature adults, they mus haf thot its boring as hell...

The show is rather political as well, although done in a subtle manner... Constantly protraying the America bully power, how they bombed all the countries in e past 20 yrs...

Also, e main lead seemed to be a ref to *cough* O s a m a *cough*... Tis is something i read, coz they said he wore e same white robe at the end of the movie... There were sufficient evidence in e movie to convey alot of references to real life situations... Maybe tis movie also makes u understand e terrorists slightly better, y they kept on fighting e losing war n y they would find new willing partners where ever they r...

Its trying to make u think twice about e current political situation...

To me, if its slightly leaning towards political perspectives, it should be done wif a documentary movie genre, so tt u can better explain things and clear things up... And not tryin to half heartedly say abit here n there in a teenager film... But maybe it can be considered as a window for start as well...

No matter, if u caught e 1st, theres no reason for u to not catch e second... Oh, tis one is not as gory as e 1st... Like i said, tis one focuses on more human politics...

Not bad lah, just abit too long... Very different in terms of style as well, maybe coz its a different director...